I am bored at work and clearly have stuff to write about...
The talk of the office today is how much im showing these days (im sure it's because im not wearing a maternity top today, im wearing a sweater I wore pre-baby bump). Some people think im HUGE, some say "you're all baby!", I think its a bit of both, my rear-end looks GINORMOUS (to me anyway). All I keep thinking about is that scene in Knocked Up, where Allison tells her mom about her being pregnant and her mother tells her at 3 months she will have jowls and a fat ass. That's all I think when I look in the mirror and im try to convince myself I really am all baby.
As of my last appointment I had only gained 3 lbs. at 16 weeks I think that's pretty horrible but in comparison to what they say I "should" have gained at that point, it's nothing. Keep in mind I had no morning sickness so I wasn't one of those people who loose a ton of weight first trimester, I've been eating like a cow the whole time. I will be 20 weeks at my next appointment, im both terrified and curious to see how much I've gained. What's funny is while im typing this stuff about gaining weight, im totally shoveling a sausage biscuit in my mouth. I brought 3 oranges with me to snack on today and im eying them and trying to justify how eating one right now is totally fine, because ill have another two, to eat later on today I mean, do I really need to eat 3 more times before I go home? The answer is yes, and if I don't have my own food I will go in search of some. This is not an exaggeration, it'll get nasty if I don't eat.
The other day, at random, I decided I NEEDED to have these Chinese dumpling things my mom used to buy (if you frequent Japanese restaurants you know them as gyoza), but I wanted them drowned in ponzu sauce. I went on a hunt for these, first walmart (because I remembered seeing them there before),then Sams (where we used to buy them), and then holy grail of everything, Target....and there in the frozen section, was that gorgeous yellow bag with the cute little Panda Bear. I grabbed two and proudly pranced through the store knowing that Ling Ling's dumplings would soon be in my tummy. I kid you not, i ate the whole bag. It started off innocently enough, i made a few, decided i was still hungry made a few more, rinse wash repeat and the bag is now empty. Fatty McFatterton ate them ALL. I have another bag left, and right now it's all i can think about. Let me explain what a pregnancy craving is like....
It's not a "man that sounds so good I should make some for dinner one night this week" it's more of a "this is a serious emergency, it is imperative that I have these things NOW". It doesn't just stop at thinking "I MUST HAVE THESE NOW" you know that right NOW is not gonna happen, because you likely do not have said food item on hand. While you wait for it (or wait for an opportunity to get them, you constantly think about it, it festers in your mind to the point that if you don't get it you WILL be in a shitty mood you might even get upset and cry at the fact that you are not eating the thing you want most in the whole world right at that moment. It's not pretty. And god bless Tim, he is a saint. I don't know how many nights he comes in the bedroom, changes, lays down in bed, breathes that sigh of relief,like "ahhh the day is over I can now just RELAX" and no sooner than he gets comfy, I say "honey? do we have any [insert food/drink item]?". See, that's my way of asking without asking, he just looks at me and says "I'll go get it, how many/how much/which flavor do you want?". He is an angel and has the patience of Job.
I haven't had any weird cravings, I almost wish I did, just because I think it would be fun. I really wanted to crave pickles, because they disgust me so much lol. I thought it would be hilarious to crave something I normally found repulsive. The closest I've come to that is craving orange juice, and even though im craving it, it's still disgusting to me. It's tart and has a weird texture (even without the pulp). Id much rather eat an orange, but eating an orange or a tangerine or a clementine give me horrible and I mean HORRIBLE heartburn. When I say horrible I literally mean I feel like someone handed this kid a flame thrower and he's got an inextinguishable flame. It literally feels like I swallowed a lit match. So this whole citrus thing just isn't working out for me.
How did this entry get so long? oh my, sorry guys. if you read this whole thing, I love you.
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