the humanizing of heroes
yesterday i learned that one of the few adults i actually respected in high school was a fraud.
extortion of youth funds to pay for his internet porn (and who knows what else).
how am i to wrap my mind around this?
during high school i honestly did not respect a lot of adults (if you know me this isn't a huge surprise), but there were a few key people who had my respect, and a strong influence in my life. this guy was one of them. his wife was overbearing so i never clicked with her, but this guy...he had so much patience with me (which was no small thing), he was consistent (and in our youth group there was so little of that) and he was genuinely invested, so it seemed.
now i learn that all along he was taking money and he was into porn. that just keeps playing over in my head.
i try to divert my attention by focusing on the good things he did, the nice person i knew him to be, his dedication to youth, etc. however it's all tainted, on one hand. on the other hand i just picture this broken hurting man who reached out to no one (maybe he felt he had no one to reach out to). either way he is now a human, a flawed man.
the truly unfortunate aspect of this new information i've received is that it was preceded by the humanizing of several other individuals i hold in high esteem.
in short the last couple of weeks have been a bit hard to swallow.
i know those i respect and look up to are human; i know my expectations of people tend to be too high; i know i'm not the only one who has seen their heroes humanize. i don't know what to do about it. i really want to call this guy and talk to him, figure out what happened, try to understand. but i know that probably isn't best.
now i'm left with my head spinning, drowning in disappointment, fighting to avoid the further development of cynicism in my life.
extortion of youth funds to pay for his internet porn (and who knows what else).
how am i to wrap my mind around this?
during high school i honestly did not respect a lot of adults (if you know me this isn't a huge surprise), but there were a few key people who had my respect, and a strong influence in my life. this guy was one of them. his wife was overbearing so i never clicked with her, but this guy...he had so much patience with me (which was no small thing), he was consistent (and in our youth group there was so little of that) and he was genuinely invested, so it seemed.
now i learn that all along he was taking money and he was into porn. that just keeps playing over in my head.
i try to divert my attention by focusing on the good things he did, the nice person i knew him to be, his dedication to youth, etc. however it's all tainted, on one hand. on the other hand i just picture this broken hurting man who reached out to no one (maybe he felt he had no one to reach out to). either way he is now a human, a flawed man.
the truly unfortunate aspect of this new information i've received is that it was preceded by the humanizing of several other individuals i hold in high esteem.
in short the last couple of weeks have been a bit hard to swallow.
i know those i respect and look up to are human; i know my expectations of people tend to be too high; i know i'm not the only one who has seen their heroes humanize. i don't know what to do about it. i really want to call this guy and talk to him, figure out what happened, try to understand. but i know that probably isn't best.
now i'm left with my head spinning, drowning in disappointment, fighting to avoid the further development of cynicism in my life.