the only somewhat emotional message that will ever be in this journal

[newcoke]

So my weekend has shown me quite a lot. I had been wasting my time feeling bad for the things I'd done with the whole love situation. Now, I actually have something to feel bad for. Thank the lord it can be forgotten. Anyway, honesty is a virtue, and I feel like I've been honest in expressing my feelings, no matter how ambivalent they've been. I've always tried to tell my feelings at the exact moment they were occuring. Despite its disappointing that I lost faith in the character of one person, I have much hope in a certain future situation. i guess its just hard to know when things are real. well, i'll know for the future what isn't. even though my paranoia is somewhat justified, I think I'm going to have to trust again, and now I have a reason to.
(sorry for the ridiculous vagueness)