and yet moreeeee...
ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) -- adj. Being able to drive and read a road map at the same time.
* AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) -- adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
* AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) -- n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
* BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) -- n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
* BUZZACKS (buz' aks) -- n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
* CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) -- n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
* DIMP (dimp) -- n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
* DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') -- v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.
* ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) -- n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.
* EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) -- n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
* ELBONICS (el bon' iks) -- n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
* ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) -- n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
* FRUST (frust) -- n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
* LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) -- n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.
* NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) -- n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
* PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') -- n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
* PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) -- adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
* PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) -- n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
* PUPKUS (pup' kus) -- n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
* TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) -- n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given in 2002, to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep
and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon,
because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the baronum, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The
baronum contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.< BR
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What's a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.
* AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) -- adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
* AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) -- n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
* BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) -- n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
* BUZZACKS (buz' aks) -- n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
* CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) -- n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
* DIMP (dimp) -- n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
* DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') -- v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.
* ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) -- n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.
* EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) -- n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
* ELBONICS (el bon' iks) -- n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
* ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) -- n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
* FRUST (frust) -- n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
* LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) -- n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.
* NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) -- n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
* PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') -- n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
* PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) -- adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
* PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) -- n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
* PUPKUS (pup' kus) -- n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
* TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) -- n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given in 2002, to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep
and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon,
because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the baronum, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The
baronum contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains
the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.< BR
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What's a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.