Turkey Day

[new_tom]

They are just children. I guess everyone is a child at heart, but they were children at every level you can imagine. Completely benign to life’s problems, I wish I had that much selfishness to live so happy with out having to worry about money and school and girlfriends. I with I as that beautiful, I wish I could hold on to the one person I do love. But that isn’t going to happen because I do have to worry about school and money and girlfriends. They are so sheltered where I’m not, so innocent where I’ve lost it. I guess I’m the dulled out mirror they stare into and find they’re beautiful faces staring back at them. Knowing that I can’t do anything. But its ok because I have been loved, and I’ll lose it a million times more knowing that I only had it once, and I’ll be happy. I just hope with all my shattered heart that I can keep it this one last time. No matter how much I doubt it, maybe I can hope to keep it. Yes I’ll hope again, not that I’ve stopped in the first place.

I was at a Thanksgiving party at my parent’s friend’s house. My friend Maria was there and her other friend. It was ok, the food was good and the turkey was very juicy. However I got the biggest migraine I’ve had for the last ten years. I guess that I just wanted… I donno. I’ve been wanting a lot more then I can have. But I’m ok with that because after further analysis I’ve deduced that that thing I want is as stupid as a door knob. I’m ok with that too. Let me relish in the fact that I’m better!

Ya… I wanna get laid.

Peace out.
Anton