saddness
This is what I want. I want my grandparents back. I want my best friend back. I want my hair back, my body, I want all the money I ever spent back. I want the girl of my dreams back. I want my mind back to the way it was. I want it to be ninth grade again. I want to get laid. I want a Porsche, actually I want two. I want this sadness to stop. I want to die.(eventually). I want to world to live in peace. I want sexual freedom. I want to know about life and everything about it. I want to stop crying.
This is what I don’t want. I don’t want to live by myself. I don’t want to fall in love (as of right now). I don’t want my family to die, nor my friends. I don’t want to be poor. I don’t want a big house, nor a small one. I don’t want to listen to crappy music or crash my car. I don’t want to work anymore; I just want to be rich. I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want a complete life (don’t try to understand). I don’t want to be sad.
I WANT THIS TO END! MOTHERFUCKER! END!
Entry 3-14-06 is everything that I ever wanted and didn’t want. Probably everything I’ll ever want and won’t want, or will want.
Life is so fragile. So what’s the point? Does it really matter? Does it really, when I’ll just end up alone. I’ll watch my family die, I’ll watch my friends die. But I’ll live. I’ll survive. I’ll be a hundred and five before I go. By then… I’ll be alone. So alone. So much sadness in my life, in your I’ll bet as well. Yet I remain so exited. So hopeful. Yes, I’ll find someone. I’ll get my love and someone will get there’s. And then death will take its hold. And that’s enough. Just that…. Back to crying back to sadness. I don’t think I want that.
Honestly. What’ll I’ve give just to hug my grandfather again, or to share a joke with Dustin again. That’s just something I’ll never get again, I’ll never love like my grandfather loved me, I’ll never care like Dustin cared. Its over. Its gone.
So I JUST WANT IT ALL BACK AGAIN.
I sit here alone. I think I’m crying now. Why am I always the strongest one?
‘the unbreakable Anton’ I’ve been broken a long time.
The tension my legs a finally gone. I’ve never been so selfish before. I’ve never been so afraid.
‘won’t give up and wants me dead, and god dam this noise inside my head’ Trent Reznor
Should I pose this? Or just delete it? I don’t know dude, just show em who’s boss. Ok.
Remember that one time we set up Chuck with Lizard? That was great.
Sweet dreams Dustin. I’ll see you again, this I can promise.
Peace out, I think I’m Anton.
This is what I don’t want. I don’t want to live by myself. I don’t want to fall in love (as of right now). I don’t want my family to die, nor my friends. I don’t want to be poor. I don’t want a big house, nor a small one. I don’t want to listen to crappy music or crash my car. I don’t want to work anymore; I just want to be rich. I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want a complete life (don’t try to understand). I don’t want to be sad.
I WANT THIS TO END! MOTHERFUCKER! END!
Entry 3-14-06 is everything that I ever wanted and didn’t want. Probably everything I’ll ever want and won’t want, or will want.
Life is so fragile. So what’s the point? Does it really matter? Does it really, when I’ll just end up alone. I’ll watch my family die, I’ll watch my friends die. But I’ll live. I’ll survive. I’ll be a hundred and five before I go. By then… I’ll be alone. So alone. So much sadness in my life, in your I’ll bet as well. Yet I remain so exited. So hopeful. Yes, I’ll find someone. I’ll get my love and someone will get there’s. And then death will take its hold. And that’s enough. Just that…. Back to crying back to sadness. I don’t think I want that.
Honestly. What’ll I’ve give just to hug my grandfather again, or to share a joke with Dustin again. That’s just something I’ll never get again, I’ll never love like my grandfather loved me, I’ll never care like Dustin cared. Its over. Its gone.
So I JUST WANT IT ALL BACK AGAIN.
I sit here alone. I think I’m crying now. Why am I always the strongest one?
‘the unbreakable Anton’ I’ve been broken a long time.
The tension my legs a finally gone. I’ve never been so selfish before. I’ve never been so afraid.
‘won’t give up and wants me dead, and god dam this noise inside my head’ Trent Reznor
Should I pose this? Or just delete it? I don’t know dude, just show em who’s boss. Ok.
Remember that one time we set up Chuck with Lizard? That was great.
Sweet dreams Dustin. I’ll see you again, this I can promise.
Peace out, I think I’m Anton.