(no subject)
22/02/07
Following my last post, it was pointed out to me that I didn’t update often enough. At this stage, I’d like to indicate that this is clearly is an absurd and unreasonable view of my journal. There are FAR too many entries as it is. This said, I also felt that the time was right for another stirring account of my life. Prepare yourself for tears of joy, sadness and eventually pure relief when I, you know, stop typing.
You will be genuinely surprised to hear that my job has actually become far busier, not entirely sure why, but it is a welcome change. Unfortunately, today has been quite an easy one, so I thought I’d take the time to update this.
For anyone who is working/has worked in the service industry, when you are dealing with customers first hand, you do tend to come up with nicknames for the weirder, and more regular ones. Even if you don’t have a nickname for them (often it is difficult to find the words…), you can’t help but remember them, usually because of the utter disbelief they cause. What follows is my list of some of my wildcard recurring customers, because I find it distressing that it is only me who sees these people. Apart from their social workers and presumably the police, I’m practically family…
1. The ‘Growler’ - Now while on the surface it may seem somewhat cruel to pass comment on a man who seemingly has one lung - you haven’t met him.
2. ‘Loopy Sue’ (bear in mind, this is not my nickname for her, I could have thought up something FAR funnier. Still, an absurdly apt name.) - She once came to the counter, said that she’d like to drink my coffee, and then started strumming chords on a guitar at me. She looked very confused when I asked her if she actually had any reason to be in the office, and she then read me a passage of poetry. A creepier person I am yet to meet.
3. ‘Mrs Lunatic’ (again…) - The master of the ‘mentioning five topics in one sentence’, this lady gave birth to her brothers baby, and the offspring (read: mutant) is now serving a fairly long stretch for being an arsonist. No surprises there then.
4. ‘Cloud Nine’ - This guy comes in every so often, mumbles something completely unfathomable to me, and then incessantly laughs. This is by far the best customer I have ever had; I wish he came in every day. He cheers me up SO much.
5. ‘Commander Idiot’ (straight to the point, and ridiculously accurate) - Once a week, he incessantly shouts at me because he wants to speak to [insert fictional colleague here]. When I inform him that is both technically and physically an impossibility, he looks at me blankly.
6. ‘Space Invader’ - Once a week , at EXACTLY the same time, an old lady comes into the office and explains (in horrific detail) how her neighbours are planet-earth-dwelling aliens, and they are watching her every move with sophisticated space cameras. I usually politely direct her towards the doctor’s surgery.
…enough. If anyone can beat me in the ‘wildcard customer’ stakes, then please do so.
Last few days haven’t been bad, the gig in Camden was ok, I made a few mistakes and was clearly not fashionable enough to fit in with the crowd, but ok nonetheless. I’m debating giving up the whole gig thing to be honest, I’m clearly rubbish at it, but I love other stuff about it, such as the travelling. Well, c’est la vie - I’m sure I’ll sort something out.
I hope everyone is ok, let me know how it’s going.
X
Mood: Indecisive.
Music: Regina Spektor, Decemberists - Summersong, Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!
Following my last post, it was pointed out to me that I didn’t update often enough. At this stage, I’d like to indicate that this is clearly is an absurd and unreasonable view of my journal. There are FAR too many entries as it is. This said, I also felt that the time was right for another stirring account of my life. Prepare yourself for tears of joy, sadness and eventually pure relief when I, you know, stop typing.
You will be genuinely surprised to hear that my job has actually become far busier, not entirely sure why, but it is a welcome change. Unfortunately, today has been quite an easy one, so I thought I’d take the time to update this.
For anyone who is working/has worked in the service industry, when you are dealing with customers first hand, you do tend to come up with nicknames for the weirder, and more regular ones. Even if you don’t have a nickname for them (often it is difficult to find the words…), you can’t help but remember them, usually because of the utter disbelief they cause. What follows is my list of some of my wildcard recurring customers, because I find it distressing that it is only me who sees these people. Apart from their social workers and presumably the police, I’m practically family…
1. The ‘Growler’ - Now while on the surface it may seem somewhat cruel to pass comment on a man who seemingly has one lung - you haven’t met him.
2. ‘Loopy Sue’ (bear in mind, this is not my nickname for her, I could have thought up something FAR funnier. Still, an absurdly apt name.) - She once came to the counter, said that she’d like to drink my coffee, and then started strumming chords on a guitar at me. She looked very confused when I asked her if she actually had any reason to be in the office, and she then read me a passage of poetry. A creepier person I am yet to meet.
3. ‘Mrs Lunatic’ (again…) - The master of the ‘mentioning five topics in one sentence’, this lady gave birth to her brothers baby, and the offspring (read: mutant) is now serving a fairly long stretch for being an arsonist. No surprises there then.
4. ‘Cloud Nine’ - This guy comes in every so often, mumbles something completely unfathomable to me, and then incessantly laughs. This is by far the best customer I have ever had; I wish he came in every day. He cheers me up SO much.
5. ‘Commander Idiot’ (straight to the point, and ridiculously accurate) - Once a week, he incessantly shouts at me because he wants to speak to [insert fictional colleague here]. When I inform him that is both technically and physically an impossibility, he looks at me blankly.
6. ‘Space Invader’ - Once a week , at EXACTLY the same time, an old lady comes into the office and explains (in horrific detail) how her neighbours are planet-earth-dwelling aliens, and they are watching her every move with sophisticated space cameras. I usually politely direct her towards the doctor’s surgery.
…enough. If anyone can beat me in the ‘wildcard customer’ stakes, then please do so.
Last few days haven’t been bad, the gig in Camden was ok, I made a few mistakes and was clearly not fashionable enough to fit in with the crowd, but ok nonetheless. I’m debating giving up the whole gig thing to be honest, I’m clearly rubbish at it, but I love other stuff about it, such as the travelling. Well, c’est la vie - I’m sure I’ll sort something out.
I hope everyone is ok, let me know how it’s going.
X
Mood: Indecisive.
Music: Regina Spektor, Decemberists - Summersong, Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!