[EcM] June - Mixtape
... but you gave me the best mixtape I have
and even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
about me and you
You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know
There are moments pulled out of the hours that they've spent on this island that he's always looking back to. Those single slips of time when a single word could have been said differently, or a glance caught instead of just passed by... all of them stack up in his mind each night, and no matter how hard he tries they're still there in the morning.
He's not blind, seeing the way she is when she's around him, or not around him. The need in her eyes, the downward stare that means she's not going to give him the respect that he clearly knows he doesn't deserve, but it still hurts. It hurts to think that the love he has for her... just isn't enough to keep her still.
Now though, even with the nights filled with something more than just a connection seem lacking what he thought he'd never want again. Lacking more than he was willing to admit to as well, because in the back of his mind he's still on that beach watching her clutch that radio so tight.
He could have sworn her knuckles turned white from gripping to that black plastic that hard. The slight shake in her arm as the tension building up in those muscles started to give in. He saw it in her body sure... but it was more than that because it was the words she spoke. That near suffering without him by her side tremble in her voice, and even from that first time she asked if he'd seen Jack... from then until that first night they were together it didn't even matter who she wanted to be with anymore. It wasn't some contest between two fighting steeds, or a proof of manhood over the one object of affection.
She might have been with him that night, but deep down... as much as it hurt him to admit it to himself... standing on that beach listening to her tears fall as she screamed that she wouldn't go without him. Cut him to the quick, cut him fast too, because maybe for a few moments before that... he had a single glimmer of hope that she'd see him differently now. But once those words hit the air...
She'd made her choice... and maybe it was the right one, it just felt wrong at the time.
and even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
about me and you
You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know
There are moments pulled out of the hours that they've spent on this island that he's always looking back to. Those single slips of time when a single word could have been said differently, or a glance caught instead of just passed by... all of them stack up in his mind each night, and no matter how hard he tries they're still there in the morning.
He's not blind, seeing the way she is when she's around him, or not around him. The need in her eyes, the downward stare that means she's not going to give him the respect that he clearly knows he doesn't deserve, but it still hurts. It hurts to think that the love he has for her... just isn't enough to keep her still.
Now though, even with the nights filled with something more than just a connection seem lacking what he thought he'd never want again. Lacking more than he was willing to admit to as well, because in the back of his mind he's still on that beach watching her clutch that radio so tight.
He could have sworn her knuckles turned white from gripping to that black plastic that hard. The slight shake in her arm as the tension building up in those muscles started to give in. He saw it in her body sure... but it was more than that because it was the words she spoke. That near suffering without him by her side tremble in her voice, and even from that first time she asked if he'd seen Jack... from then until that first night they were together it didn't even matter who she wanted to be with anymore. It wasn't some contest between two fighting steeds, or a proof of manhood over the one object of affection.
She might have been with him that night, but deep down... as much as it hurt him to admit it to himself... standing on that beach listening to her tears fall as she screamed that she wouldn't go without him. Cut him to the quick, cut him fast too, because maybe for a few moments before that... he had a single glimmer of hope that she'd see him differently now. But once those words hit the air...
She'd made her choice... and maybe it was the right one, it just felt wrong at the time.