Stories behind the Rules (rules5, 6, 7and 8)
i haven't posted for a while, but I've been writing, so i thinght that i'd share the next two rules i put up on fanfiction .net. :D i hope you enjoy them.
5. Morino Ibiki is not allowed to take another genin team, ever.
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The mission room inspector viewed the room with a critical eye, sweeping the area for enemies, aka, team Nineteen. He swore that they’d all gotten three times as many complaints, d-rank missions, complaining genin, paper work, not to mention clean up duty as usual since the terrible three had gotten Morino as their jounin sensei.
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He looked down as his roster, and was surprised that Ibiki would be taking his shift...leaving some poor soul to deal with his hellions. The man felt a chokehold of dread wash over him. The team was bad enough with him, what were they capable of without Ibiki there to deal with them? Dying may have been easier then watching the genin that Ibiki normally dealt with. The inspector handed out the A-rank in his hands to the poor jounin in front of him. He heard the other whimper pitifully, gaining strange glances from his colleagues and the other jounin in the mission room.
“Team nineteen,” the jouinin muttered as an explanation, “Ibiki’s taking a short vacation.”
Silence issued, as everyone in the room gave him sorrowful looks. “It was nice knowing you,” murmured one of the desk chunnin. “You were a good shinobi.” The inspector nodded, and wished the jounin luck, he would sure need it.
Yemon carefully approached the number three training ground, treading softly so that he had less chance of losing his life before he got to actually see them. It was all for naught as his foot caught on a something and he was soon hanging upside down by his ankle with kunai proof wire. How convenient. And how did the brats even get Kunai proof wire? Wasn’t that just for Special Forces?
Curling up cautiously, the blond jounin grabbed the branch and flipped up on top of it, quickly attempting to untie the intricate knot. How did genin know these knots? They were for specialist to use! Yemon frowned in concentration, forcing his ankle into an almost impossible position that hurt like the dickens. Why did he have to be the lucky guy to get this mission?
He hissed, finally getting his ankle free from its confinement. He rubbed it, circulating the blood again and scanning the area around him for any other signs of traps.
He dodged the kunai and the shuriken as they came flying at him, digging deep into the wood where he had just recently been. “Darn, I almost got him!” he heard someone whisper, “He’s not even as good as Ibiki, why couldn’t I get ‘im? He can’t be as good as Sensei, sensei’s the best! He’s the one that set up this drill!”
Yemon cursed at the Interrogator for being the source of his pain and aggravation. “Come out this instant”, he hissed, eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. “Like a snake,” one of them whispered. They knew he could hear him, they had to, the little munchkin only wanted to aggravate him. And he was succeeding. “Maybe he’s Uke and some guy messed him up?”
Yemon froze. His brain unable to process what had just been said by an eleven year old. Were they supposed to know about that yet? NO, the answer was defiantly no. So where had they heard a comment so vulgar?
“Ibiki said it hurts, and he should know, Ibiki knows everything. That why he taught us the knots and the traps. He’s the best, and he would be seme.”
Oh…Ibiki…Yemon would write down that small detail later in his report. Along with several other nasty, aggravating and mind-boggling comments the poor innocent children had come up with. What where they learning from their teacher???
Yemon returned limping, scared, bleeding and exhausted to the mission room, turning in his report on time and full of weird information. What had Ibiki done to that farm animal?
His brain was fried to a crisp. All he wanted was to curl up and cry tears of agony then fall asleep for 24 hours. This had to be the worst mission he had ever taken.
Xxxxxxxxxx
The mission inspector picked up the report left on his desk. Yemon had dropped it off an hour ago before walking home. He had been reading something else, but now he was ready. He prepared himself for he worst.
Lifting the cover page, the inspector stared reading, about half way through he passed out, face pale and eyes dilated to pin points. Dear Lord, my mind.
Kakashi was the one who found the poor chuunin there the next morning, still mentally dead. He shook him, seeing if the older man would wake up before picking up the paper the man had been reading. A jutsu maybe? Enemy infiltration? He checked every possible scenario for having a passed out ninja, but found nothing. Hmmm… Kakashi began reading.
6. All establishments in Konoha are hereby banned from selling alcohol to any of the members of Team Nineteen, including Morino Ibiki.
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Iruka had always been curious. His curiosity usually turned out to be a bad thing too. Such as the time he had spied on one of their clients in order to discover how babies were made, or the time he followed Ibiki to ANBU Headquarters and ended up almost being burned to a crisp by one of the paranoid ANBU on duty.
Kotetsu, Izumo, and Ibiki learned quickly, but this fact did not stop the two younger boys from following Iruka’s plans. Because they did know that even though it usually ended badly, it was enormously fun beforehand.
Like pranking the Fourth, or using the invisibility-jutsu to tease unsuspecting Akamichi with “floating” food. Yes, they had all had enormous fun; at least until they had been caught and punished.
They, however, hadn’t done anything mischievous for three days. THREE FULL DAYS. And Ibiki, along with the rest of Konoha, was getting suspicious of this calm before the storm. And they were right, Iruka reflected, grinning evilly behind the liquor store. Every kid had to at least try this, seriously, what 13-year-old didn’t wonder what alcohol tasted like? Iruka glanced at his partners in crime.“Ready?” They nodded eagerly, as he began the transformation justsu.
Xxxx
Kotetsu blinked at the bottle in the middle of their triangle. It was simple dark glass surrounded by a thin paper strip. Now that they had it, Kotetsu wasn’t all that sure what to do with it. Sure, he knew they were going to drink some of it, but he had an uneasy feeling gathering in his gut
He glanced cautiously at Iruka, their brilliant leader, and noticed the slight frown on his face. Izumo was wearing the same expression. About to voice his opinion, Iruka interrupted him, “How are we supposed to open it?” Kotetsu closed his mouth. Yeah, how were they? All thoughts had been chased out, now that he had a tantalizing problem to solve.
Xxxx
The minute Ibiki heard something breaking, he knew it had to be because of his team. He had a sixth sense, only it always alerted him a little too late to actually stop the chaos before it happened. Running full blast, and hoping the damage wasn’t as bad as it sounded, Ibiki skidded to a stop, black coat billowing impressively. “IRUKA WHAT DID YOU DO…this time?” the torture specialist blinked at the oddness of the scene as Iruka gazed up at him blearily.
“Wad ju say ‘biki?” he asked happily.
“How the hell did you manage to get alcohol?” Ibiki practically shrieked, making Iruka rub his ears in annoyance.
“Bought it, ‘ow else would we ‘ave gottn it?”
“You can’t buy alcohol,” he hissed, now glaring at the brunette. Where were Izumo and Kotetsu?
“Yeah, I know, thas why you did” Iruka slurred his words, still lightheaded and oblivious.
“I DID?” Ibiki seriously considered murdering his little gophers, but only for a moment: he wasn’t going to go missing-nin just for killing little children. Instead, he settled for strangling Iruka and throwing him into the river. The Hokage was going to kick his ass to kingdom-come; he was supposed to have a firm hand on his team.
And why had Iruka thought it was a gloriously wonderful idea to create explosive tags on top of the tea house? Ibiki allowed himself one whimper. His team would be working this off for a long time; it cost a lot of money to build a whole new tea house.
Kakashi pushed some wood off of his legs, damn it, why did he always seem to get involved with this crazy team? Everywhere he went, they were there creating havoc. He had only wanted some tea, some freaking tea! Was that too much to ask? Kakashi grumbled in discontentment all the way home, hoping tomorrow would not involve any kind of explosion.
7. Kotetsu, please stop cross-dressing where the other villages can see you.
8. The same goes for the other members of Team Nineteen.
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Kotetsu had always been a little weird. Truth be told, he was probably the weirdest of Team Nineteen. Iruka may have been the wildest and most creative, while Izumo was the smartest and most sarcastic, but Kotetsu was definitely the weirdest of the three.
They didn’t know if it was his upbringing, or the media, or what, but, Kotetsu’s habits were just as weird as the girl down the street that wore the pointy bras.
When he hadn’t shown up for training within the hour, everyone spread out to search. Iruka was the one who found him. Dressed in drag and flirting with the chunin shinobi by the gate. Of course neither one of them seemed to be flirting back, but they were blushing and making shooing motions, which of course Ko wasn’t paying any attention to.
Iruka called in on the head set that Ibiki had provided. “This is the Dolphin, calling the Snoring Bear, I’ve located the Hedgehog Child. Over.” Iruka waited for a response.
“What? Who the hell are Snoring Bear and Hedgehog Child?” Ibiki shouted at him over the microphone.
Iruka sighed, wasn’t it obvious? “Sensei, You’re Snoring Bear, Kotetsu is obviously Hedgehog Child and Izumo is Cute Bunny. Duh.”
Ibiki growled at him over the air waves. If ANBU was listening in, they’d be blowing their tops.
“Wait, why am I Cute Bunny?” Izumo interjected.
Iruka sighed, “Cause that’s what you are, get over it Cute Bunny.”
“Whatever,” Ibiki interrupted, “You little slaves just go get him and bring him back to base.”
Iruka made a weird sound in the back of his throat, halfway between a growl and a shout. “We’re not your slaves, Snoring Bear. Besides, he’s in drag, so do you really want to see him?”
Ibiki could be heard choking through the headset. “He’s what? That’s it; I’m going to add another rule to the list.”
Iruka got sidetracked, “Hey, Snoring Bear, the delegates from Suna and Lightening are here! And Kotsetsu’s winking at one of them.”
“WHAT?” Snoring Bear was now yelling, making Iruka’s ears ring. “Get him here right now!”
Iruka straightened, “Yes Snoring-Bear, I’m on it!”
Ibiki cursed “Stop calling me that!”
Iruka ignored him, instead, throwing Kotetsu over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry if he has bothered you, sirs,” Iruka addressed the diplomats, “He just escaped the brothel this morning; we’ve been searching for him all morning. We never thought he’d come here.” And with those parting words, Iruka leapt away, Kotetsu throwing kisses from over his shoulder.
Maybe he and Izumo should do that some time; it looked like fun, freaking people out, he meant, but not throwing the kisses.
“Mission accomplished,” Iruka announced over the headset.
Xxxxxx
Ibiki sighed with relief. This was the day the diplomats were leaving, and that meant they wouldn’t keep talking with him about how Konoha had a brothel somewhere, and how scandalous it was, not to mention how sad it was that youth today was so corrupt. How had Iruka even known what a brothel was?
No, wait, he knew. Why, no, how did they keep getting weird mission stories out of him? Stopping short, Ibiki observed the empty clearing. He had gotten here without one shuriken coming out at him, no traps…where was his team?
Ibiki cleared the thought from his head, “No, they would never do something like that,” he said out loud. Thinking a little more, he sighed, and started to run towards the gates, “Yes, yes they would.” Damn you, Kotetsu, you are so going to die for even putting that idea in Iruka’s head. He just hoped that this wouldn’t affect the relationships between Konoha, Lightening, and Suna.
Kakashi had been assigned escort duty. It was only to the gates, but he had been ordered to make a good impression on the delegates.
Catching sight of the gates, Kakashi smiled mentally. These men made him nervous; they where so uptight and snobby. Catching sight of two now familiar figures, Kakashi’s brain almost shut down. Men, or boys, were not supposed to dress in mini-skirts and tube-tops. He saw them both start to wave, but thankfully, their sensei came up behind them and dragged them off.
Thank goodness, if Ibiki hadn’t, he and the group he was escorting would probably all die of a heart attack. How come he was always privileged enough to see these exploits?
5. Morino Ibiki is not allowed to take another genin team, ever.
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The mission room inspector viewed the room with a critical eye, sweeping the area for enemies, aka, team Nineteen. He swore that they’d all gotten three times as many complaints, d-rank missions, complaining genin, paper work, not to mention clean up duty as usual since the terrible three had gotten Morino as their jounin sensei.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
He looked down as his roster, and was surprised that Ibiki would be taking his shift...leaving some poor soul to deal with his hellions. The man felt a chokehold of dread wash over him. The team was bad enough with him, what were they capable of without Ibiki there to deal with them? Dying may have been easier then watching the genin that Ibiki normally dealt with. The inspector handed out the A-rank in his hands to the poor jounin in front of him. He heard the other whimper pitifully, gaining strange glances from his colleagues and the other jounin in the mission room.
“Team nineteen,” the jouinin muttered as an explanation, “Ibiki’s taking a short vacation.”
Silence issued, as everyone in the room gave him sorrowful looks. “It was nice knowing you,” murmured one of the desk chunnin. “You were a good shinobi.” The inspector nodded, and wished the jounin luck, he would sure need it.
Yemon carefully approached the number three training ground, treading softly so that he had less chance of losing his life before he got to actually see them. It was all for naught as his foot caught on a something and he was soon hanging upside down by his ankle with kunai proof wire. How convenient. And how did the brats even get Kunai proof wire? Wasn’t that just for Special Forces?
Curling up cautiously, the blond jounin grabbed the branch and flipped up on top of it, quickly attempting to untie the intricate knot. How did genin know these knots? They were for specialist to use! Yemon frowned in concentration, forcing his ankle into an almost impossible position that hurt like the dickens. Why did he have to be the lucky guy to get this mission?
He hissed, finally getting his ankle free from its confinement. He rubbed it, circulating the blood again and scanning the area around him for any other signs of traps.
He dodged the kunai and the shuriken as they came flying at him, digging deep into the wood where he had just recently been. “Darn, I almost got him!” he heard someone whisper, “He’s not even as good as Ibiki, why couldn’t I get ‘im? He can’t be as good as Sensei, sensei’s the best! He’s the one that set up this drill!”
Yemon cursed at the Interrogator for being the source of his pain and aggravation. “Come out this instant”, he hissed, eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. “Like a snake,” one of them whispered. They knew he could hear him, they had to, the little munchkin only wanted to aggravate him. And he was succeeding. “Maybe he’s Uke and some guy messed him up?”
Yemon froze. His brain unable to process what had just been said by an eleven year old. Were they supposed to know about that yet? NO, the answer was defiantly no. So where had they heard a comment so vulgar?
“Ibiki said it hurts, and he should know, Ibiki knows everything. That why he taught us the knots and the traps. He’s the best, and he would be seme.”
Oh…Ibiki…Yemon would write down that small detail later in his report. Along with several other nasty, aggravating and mind-boggling comments the poor innocent children had come up with. What where they learning from their teacher???
Yemon returned limping, scared, bleeding and exhausted to the mission room, turning in his report on time and full of weird information. What had Ibiki done to that farm animal?
His brain was fried to a crisp. All he wanted was to curl up and cry tears of agony then fall asleep for 24 hours. This had to be the worst mission he had ever taken.
Xxxxxxxxxx
The mission inspector picked up the report left on his desk. Yemon had dropped it off an hour ago before walking home. He had been reading something else, but now he was ready. He prepared himself for he worst.
Lifting the cover page, the inspector stared reading, about half way through he passed out, face pale and eyes dilated to pin points. Dear Lord, my mind.
Kakashi was the one who found the poor chuunin there the next morning, still mentally dead. He shook him, seeing if the older man would wake up before picking up the paper the man had been reading. A jutsu maybe? Enemy infiltration? He checked every possible scenario for having a passed out ninja, but found nothing. Hmmm… Kakashi began reading.
6. All establishments in Konoha are hereby banned from selling alcohol to any of the members of Team Nineteen, including Morino Ibiki.
00000000000
Iruka had always been curious. His curiosity usually turned out to be a bad thing too. Such as the time he had spied on one of their clients in order to discover how babies were made, or the time he followed Ibiki to ANBU Headquarters and ended up almost being burned to a crisp by one of the paranoid ANBU on duty.
Kotetsu, Izumo, and Ibiki learned quickly, but this fact did not stop the two younger boys from following Iruka’s plans. Because they did know that even though it usually ended badly, it was enormously fun beforehand.
Like pranking the Fourth, or using the invisibility-jutsu to tease unsuspecting Akamichi with “floating” food. Yes, they had all had enormous fun; at least until they had been caught and punished.
They, however, hadn’t done anything mischievous for three days. THREE FULL DAYS. And Ibiki, along with the rest of Konoha, was getting suspicious of this calm before the storm. And they were right, Iruka reflected, grinning evilly behind the liquor store. Every kid had to at least try this, seriously, what 13-year-old didn’t wonder what alcohol tasted like? Iruka glanced at his partners in crime.“Ready?” They nodded eagerly, as he began the transformation justsu.
Xxxx
Kotetsu blinked at the bottle in the middle of their triangle. It was simple dark glass surrounded by a thin paper strip. Now that they had it, Kotetsu wasn’t all that sure what to do with it. Sure, he knew they were going to drink some of it, but he had an uneasy feeling gathering in his gut
He glanced cautiously at Iruka, their brilliant leader, and noticed the slight frown on his face. Izumo was wearing the same expression. About to voice his opinion, Iruka interrupted him, “How are we supposed to open it?” Kotetsu closed his mouth. Yeah, how were they? All thoughts had been chased out, now that he had a tantalizing problem to solve.
Xxxx
The minute Ibiki heard something breaking, he knew it had to be because of his team. He had a sixth sense, only it always alerted him a little too late to actually stop the chaos before it happened. Running full blast, and hoping the damage wasn’t as bad as it sounded, Ibiki skidded to a stop, black coat billowing impressively. “IRUKA WHAT DID YOU DO…this time?” the torture specialist blinked at the oddness of the scene as Iruka gazed up at him blearily.
“Wad ju say ‘biki?” he asked happily.
“How the hell did you manage to get alcohol?” Ibiki practically shrieked, making Iruka rub his ears in annoyance.
“Bought it, ‘ow else would we ‘ave gottn it?”
“You can’t buy alcohol,” he hissed, now glaring at the brunette. Where were Izumo and Kotetsu?
“Yeah, I know, thas why you did” Iruka slurred his words, still lightheaded and oblivious.
“I DID?” Ibiki seriously considered murdering his little gophers, but only for a moment: he wasn’t going to go missing-nin just for killing little children. Instead, he settled for strangling Iruka and throwing him into the river. The Hokage was going to kick his ass to kingdom-come; he was supposed to have a firm hand on his team.
And why had Iruka thought it was a gloriously wonderful idea to create explosive tags on top of the tea house? Ibiki allowed himself one whimper. His team would be working this off for a long time; it cost a lot of money to build a whole new tea house.
Kakashi pushed some wood off of his legs, damn it, why did he always seem to get involved with this crazy team? Everywhere he went, they were there creating havoc. He had only wanted some tea, some freaking tea! Was that too much to ask? Kakashi grumbled in discontentment all the way home, hoping tomorrow would not involve any kind of explosion.
7. Kotetsu, please stop cross-dressing where the other villages can see you.
8. The same goes for the other members of Team Nineteen.
0000000000000
Kotetsu had always been a little weird. Truth be told, he was probably the weirdest of Team Nineteen. Iruka may have been the wildest and most creative, while Izumo was the smartest and most sarcastic, but Kotetsu was definitely the weirdest of the three.
They didn’t know if it was his upbringing, or the media, or what, but, Kotetsu’s habits were just as weird as the girl down the street that wore the pointy bras.
When he hadn’t shown up for training within the hour, everyone spread out to search. Iruka was the one who found him. Dressed in drag and flirting with the chunin shinobi by the gate. Of course neither one of them seemed to be flirting back, but they were blushing and making shooing motions, which of course Ko wasn’t paying any attention to.
Iruka called in on the head set that Ibiki had provided. “This is the Dolphin, calling the Snoring Bear, I’ve located the Hedgehog Child. Over.” Iruka waited for a response.
“What? Who the hell are Snoring Bear and Hedgehog Child?” Ibiki shouted at him over the microphone.
Iruka sighed, wasn’t it obvious? “Sensei, You’re Snoring Bear, Kotetsu is obviously Hedgehog Child and Izumo is Cute Bunny. Duh.”
Ibiki growled at him over the air waves. If ANBU was listening in, they’d be blowing their tops.
“Wait, why am I Cute Bunny?” Izumo interjected.
Iruka sighed, “Cause that’s what you are, get over it Cute Bunny.”
“Whatever,” Ibiki interrupted, “You little slaves just go get him and bring him back to base.”
Iruka made a weird sound in the back of his throat, halfway between a growl and a shout. “We’re not your slaves, Snoring Bear. Besides, he’s in drag, so do you really want to see him?”
Ibiki could be heard choking through the headset. “He’s what? That’s it; I’m going to add another rule to the list.”
Iruka got sidetracked, “Hey, Snoring Bear, the delegates from Suna and Lightening are here! And Kotsetsu’s winking at one of them.”
“WHAT?” Snoring Bear was now yelling, making Iruka’s ears ring. “Get him here right now!”
Iruka straightened, “Yes Snoring-Bear, I’m on it!”
Ibiki cursed “Stop calling me that!”
Iruka ignored him, instead, throwing Kotetsu over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry if he has bothered you, sirs,” Iruka addressed the diplomats, “He just escaped the brothel this morning; we’ve been searching for him all morning. We never thought he’d come here.” And with those parting words, Iruka leapt away, Kotetsu throwing kisses from over his shoulder.
Maybe he and Izumo should do that some time; it looked like fun, freaking people out, he meant, but not throwing the kisses.
“Mission accomplished,” Iruka announced over the headset.
Xxxxxx
Ibiki sighed with relief. This was the day the diplomats were leaving, and that meant they wouldn’t keep talking with him about how Konoha had a brothel somewhere, and how scandalous it was, not to mention how sad it was that youth today was so corrupt. How had Iruka even known what a brothel was?
No, wait, he knew. Why, no, how did they keep getting weird mission stories out of him? Stopping short, Ibiki observed the empty clearing. He had gotten here without one shuriken coming out at him, no traps…where was his team?
Ibiki cleared the thought from his head, “No, they would never do something like that,” he said out loud. Thinking a little more, he sighed, and started to run towards the gates, “Yes, yes they would.” Damn you, Kotetsu, you are so going to die for even putting that idea in Iruka’s head. He just hoped that this wouldn’t affect the relationships between Konoha, Lightening, and Suna.
Kakashi had been assigned escort duty. It was only to the gates, but he had been ordered to make a good impression on the delegates.
Catching sight of the gates, Kakashi smiled mentally. These men made him nervous; they where so uptight and snobby. Catching sight of two now familiar figures, Kakashi’s brain almost shut down. Men, or boys, were not supposed to dress in mini-skirts and tube-tops. He saw them both start to wave, but thankfully, their sensei came up behind them and dragged them off.
Thank goodness, if Ibiki hadn’t, he and the group he was escorting would probably all die of a heart attack. How come he was always privileged enough to see these exploits?