(no subject)
Let me begin this entry by saying that everyone is too good to read this. Eh ehm.... Disclaimer aside I shall disclose my ridicalus finding.
An excerpt from an Underoath song [Young and Aspiring] (the whinny new band) is ...
"I had the whole world in my hands and I gave it away..."
I had always interpretted this phrase as meaning
" ' I had the whole world in my hands and I lost it... ' "
But tonight, alas and afresh I took it to mean
"I had the whole world in my hands and I GAVE it away..."
I have found myself at some stupid crossroad (props to Bone Thugz 'N Harmony). Oh, and I miss my Uncle Charles ya'll. Seriously, I've always put myself in these shoes of having the whole damn world. I've tasted life in some small satisfactory manner, and found it to be adequate, though hardly fulfilling. I've sit here at my salary cubicle + and felt my true self wither into a shadow of the past. I am gaining the moneys and gaining prestige (in the insurance realm) but I long to give this shit all away. What, so I can pay my bills- bingo and bistro dinners cannot compensate for adventure.
Ah, and what a pity to lose myself to tomorrow's 9:30 to 4:30... and yet I will. I have to get up early and do MONTH END BILLING (WATCH US GET RICH) and put up with the bossman's advisement, which is OK I guess, but I am still so empty.
I want to give it all away. I want to be responsible for donating my good grace to filthiness and wilderness. So what if no one understands me, least of all my own mother. It makes perfect sense to me.
Please do not respond to this.
Ruts and repetition have lead me to ill formed habits of minimal satisfaction of which I am forced to make due. But I know that life can be more than this. I truly believe that this is just a wall I've allowed to exist.
I may never find what seems so obvious this night, but I'll be damned if I give up with a coffee and an Adderrol capsul. Success should not be my drive. Some divine mystery should be my ambition.
.:the end:.
An excerpt from an Underoath song [Young and Aspiring] (the whinny new band) is ...
"I had the whole world in my hands and I gave it away..."
I had always interpretted this phrase as meaning
" ' I had the whole world in my hands and I lost it... ' "
But tonight, alas and afresh I took it to mean
"I had the whole world in my hands and I GAVE it away..."
I have found myself at some stupid crossroad (props to Bone Thugz 'N Harmony). Oh, and I miss my Uncle Charles ya'll. Seriously, I've always put myself in these shoes of having the whole damn world. I've tasted life in some small satisfactory manner, and found it to be adequate, though hardly fulfilling. I've sit here at my salary cubicle + and felt my true self wither into a shadow of the past. I am gaining the moneys and gaining prestige (in the insurance realm) but I long to give this shit all away. What, so I can pay my bills- bingo and bistro dinners cannot compensate for adventure.
Ah, and what a pity to lose myself to tomorrow's 9:30 to 4:30... and yet I will. I have to get up early and do MONTH END BILLING (WATCH US GET RICH) and put up with the bossman's advisement, which is OK I guess, but I am still so empty.
I want to give it all away. I want to be responsible for donating my good grace to filthiness and wilderness. So what if no one understands me, least of all my own mother. It makes perfect sense to me.
Please do not respond to this.
Ruts and repetition have lead me to ill formed habits of minimal satisfaction of which I am forced to make due. But I know that life can be more than this. I truly believe that this is just a wall I've allowed to exist.
I may never find what seems so obvious this night, but I'll be damned if I give up with a coffee and an Adderrol capsul. Success should not be my drive. Some divine mystery should be my ambition.
.:the end:.