fix my sink funk my funk walk my walk talk my talk do whatchu gottah do
Hello again my lovelies...
its been a while, hasnt it? you will have to excuse me...the past month has been a wild ride to say the least. i FINALLY got out of my moms house...for good this time. i swear i will live on the streets before i do that again. ive come to a lot of realizations and put things together that for some reason i hadnt before. ive done a lot of cleansing in my life and i think im finally starting to understand myself better and for once i am able to look at myself and figure out why i do what i do and who i really am.
my biggest accomplishment...ive finally gotten to a place in my life were i can HONESTLY look at myself and love who i see reflected back. im proud of who i am and where i am in life. for the first time im not afraid to be alone...and in fact, im actually imbracing it. those two things i never thought i would accomplish...ive hurt others in this path to self awareness...you know who you are...and for that i am sorry. if it makes you feel better, i hurt myself a lot more than i ever hurt anyone else. and while i regret it taking me so long to get to this point, ive finally reached it and thats all that matters. to finally be able to love myself and let THAT be enough to keep me going...i think that is the best gift i can ever give myself.
as for how things have been going...im living with gina and mike and ryan now...much better than living with my mother. i also have two jobs now. got a job at Toys'r'Us that pays me 9.50/hr. to do birthday parties for little kids. how cool is that? its the perfect job for me. and im back at Spirit again. this is the first day ive had off in like 2 weeks and probably the last for the next two months. ill be spliting all my hours between my two jobs and ill probably be unconcious the other hours. but im trying to save up money for a car...thats my next big investment. hopefully ill make enough money off spirit when all is said and done that i can go put a down payment on one or something.
thats pretty much all ive been doing lately. working, smoking, and sleeping.
i did get my phone stolen my first day at spirit though...which really sucks. the fucking prick who took it came in to apply for a job...which just goes to show how bright our youth has become. so now ive got to pay $50 to get a new phone and i lost all my numbers, but luckaly i get to keep my old number. so, when i get a new phone i need all your numbers again.
and to the prick who stole it...i hope you used that phone to call someone with a clue...you dont come into a business you are applying for, give out all your information on your application and then jack an employees phone on your way out...yah fuckin' jackass!
i suppose that is all for now. ill try and keep this updated as much as possible, but without steady access to a computer i cant make many promises. ill at least let yall know when my phone is back on so yall can keep in tuch that way.
and to all you on the south side...you know who you are...its been too long since we've hung out...we should do that soon. ramon...i heard you got a new apartment with johnathan and evan...sorry i missed yalls party, but let me know if you have another one because i would like to see yall again.
love to all. leave me a comment...peas.
<3
p.s. john, i know you wont get to read this, and that is probably for the best, but i just wanted to say i miss you and i cant wait to see you again...ive got a surpise for you i KNOW you will love... *naughty grin*
its been a while, hasnt it? you will have to excuse me...the past month has been a wild ride to say the least. i FINALLY got out of my moms house...for good this time. i swear i will live on the streets before i do that again. ive come to a lot of realizations and put things together that for some reason i hadnt before. ive done a lot of cleansing in my life and i think im finally starting to understand myself better and for once i am able to look at myself and figure out why i do what i do and who i really am.
my biggest accomplishment...ive finally gotten to a place in my life were i can HONESTLY look at myself and love who i see reflected back. im proud of who i am and where i am in life. for the first time im not afraid to be alone...and in fact, im actually imbracing it. those two things i never thought i would accomplish...ive hurt others in this path to self awareness...you know who you are...and for that i am sorry. if it makes you feel better, i hurt myself a lot more than i ever hurt anyone else. and while i regret it taking me so long to get to this point, ive finally reached it and thats all that matters. to finally be able to love myself and let THAT be enough to keep me going...i think that is the best gift i can ever give myself.
as for how things have been going...im living with gina and mike and ryan now...much better than living with my mother. i also have two jobs now. got a job at Toys'r'Us that pays me 9.50/hr. to do birthday parties for little kids. how cool is that? its the perfect job for me. and im back at Spirit again. this is the first day ive had off in like 2 weeks and probably the last for the next two months. ill be spliting all my hours between my two jobs and ill probably be unconcious the other hours. but im trying to save up money for a car...thats my next big investment. hopefully ill make enough money off spirit when all is said and done that i can go put a down payment on one or something.
thats pretty much all ive been doing lately. working, smoking, and sleeping.
i did get my phone stolen my first day at spirit though...which really sucks. the fucking prick who took it came in to apply for a job...which just goes to show how bright our youth has become. so now ive got to pay $50 to get a new phone and i lost all my numbers, but luckaly i get to keep my old number. so, when i get a new phone i need all your numbers again.
and to the prick who stole it...i hope you used that phone to call someone with a clue...you dont come into a business you are applying for, give out all your information on your application and then jack an employees phone on your way out...yah fuckin' jackass!
i suppose that is all for now. ill try and keep this updated as much as possible, but without steady access to a computer i cant make many promises. ill at least let yall know when my phone is back on so yall can keep in tuch that way.
and to all you on the south side...you know who you are...its been too long since we've hung out...we should do that soon. ramon...i heard you got a new apartment with johnathan and evan...sorry i missed yalls party, but let me know if you have another one because i would like to see yall again.
love to all. leave me a comment...peas.
<3
p.s. john, i know you wont get to read this, and that is probably for the best, but i just wanted to say i miss you and i cant wait to see you again...ive got a surpise for you i KNOW you will love... *naughty grin*