Subject to what??
Nevwyn's useless trivia(l) fact of the day: The terminal velocity of the average penny is 64.4 m.p.h.
And now for the second installment of my new series entitled -
THERE'S NOTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH BEING HAPPY!!!
Episode 2 Why I don't have a job and *gasp* don't want one.
When was the last time you had a job that made you happy. One that you looked forward to arriving at each day? Me neither. If you ever had such a job, you'd still be there.
I got my first job when I was 18. I was a hostess at Denny's. It took less than a week for me to start disliking it immensly. Denny's managers suck ass. In fact, they can all line up and suck my ass. As can most people who work at Denny's for that matter. Denny's managers somehow think that they're managing a five star restaurant and you are not good enough to work there. It's Denny's for crying out loud! Get over yourselves!! And your co-workers aren't much better. They'll step all over you to get one more rung up the ladder.
But this is pretty much what you'll find in any workplace. And you still wonder why I don't want a job?!? How many times has a supervisor or co-worker made you cry at work? Why is this little thing called a 'paycheck' worth your emotional anguish? You are wasting a third of your day with people who are making you feel bad. And for what?? The glory of being able to say, "Hey! I work for a living!" Well, so do dick suckers! Kudos to you!
So, like me, you go from one craptacular job to the next mistakenly measuring your worth on being paid $0.25 more an hour than your neighbor. What a joyful existance! I've sweated over a deep fryer, been shoved in a cubicle and carried around boxes of office supplies that weighed more than me. I've been shouted at, cursed out and generally made to feel worthless despite excelling at every job I ever took. I've never been fired, never been laid-off, never even had to take a pay cut. And yet I got told on a daily basis how much I suck at pretty much any given profession. I'd stick with each job until I just couldn't take going there anymore and would promptly start looking for a new one.
Jobs where I've been paid to take loads of crap from other people:
Denny's - Hostess, Waitress, Unit Leader
Some Dipshit Office - Data Processor, Lead Data Processer
The Mall - Junior Elf, Senior Elf
Party World - Stocker/Cashier, Lead Stocker, Asst. Manager
Office Depot - Stocker, Cashier, Customer Service Manager
Reader's Market - Stocker, Asst. Manager, Department Manager
Dial One Carpet Care - Receptionist, Office Manager
Montgomery Ward's - Telemarketer, Row Leader
Psychic Hotline - Psychic
County - Probationary Medi-Cal Worker, Medi-Cal Worker
I must have been doing SOMETHING right to get promoted at nearly every job I've ever had. But it's never good enough! And of course there's the worst job of all... Looking for a job. This is where you get to come up out of your own pocket and pay to take crap from shitheads that, under other circumstances, you wouldn't allow to buy you a cup of coffee. Still feel like calling me lazy? Last year I was informed by the Social Security Office that I would be eligible to start drawing my Social Security Retirement in a little less than two years. O.O (<-- Holy Shit! face) I called them up to explain that there must be a mistake. Nope, I have worked as many hours as the average 53 year old person!
"But don't you feel guilty about being on Disability?" Being on Disability means that one is disabled. I have a disability. I have been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and agoraphobia. This means that all the crap I've taken over all those years has finally driven me insane. (I'll get more into this in other installments) I'm terrified of leaving my home because someone somewhere out there is just waiting to drop their load of shit on me and punish me for not being what they want me to be. These pack of rat bastards have put me here and now they want to bitch about me being here?!? Go fuck yourselves! Before you get on my case about other people working for my disablity payments, go back and read up a couple of paragraphs. I worked for them! Me! It's MY money. I'm am not about to feel one moment worth of guilt for collecting money that was set aside out of MY paychecks for ME!
"So nobody should bother working?" Haven't you been paying attention? This is MY livejournal. Where I talk about things pertaining to ME. There are lots of folks out there who enjoy working. Cheers to 'em, but I'm not one of their number.
"Okay! Okay!", I hear you guys saying, "Well how about college? Surely you want to do something with your life!" College. An establishment of learning. What do I want to learn? *Pooh impersonation: Think...think...think...* NOTHING! There's nothing I want to learn right now. Let's flip through the local community college book to see if something catches my eye. Ooh! Hear's one! "Advanced Origami". Strange that they don't offer "Beginning Origami". What about "Macrome' For Fun and Profit"? Who the hell comes up with these course titles?! I have a better idea. How about I stay at home and let those who want to learn, do so. If I ever get some wild hair across my ass and decide that I want to learn something, I will go and learn it. Until then, I'm doing exactly what I want to do with my life. Nothing. And don't call me Shirly!
So now I ask you, How is having a job going to enrich my life? Is it for self satisfaction? I think I've already disproved that little theory. Is it to achieve that stylish lable 'Taxpayer'? Please! Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. And yes, got crap for it. It must be for the extra money! But I don't need any extra money. I already have everything that I need (shelter, food, clothing, etc...) and quite a few other things besides. Such as satellite TV and DSL. So if the extra money that I'd be puting myself through hell for isn't for me, who is it for? You?!? On what fucked over bass ackwards world does it make sense for me to make myself unhappy so that you can feel a bit better about yourself?!?
Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting episode: Piss on Simmons and Pass the Shortcake!
And now for the second installment of my new series entitled -
THERE'S NOTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH BEING HAPPY!!!
Episode 2 Why I don't have a job and *gasp* don't want one.
When was the last time you had a job that made you happy. One that you looked forward to arriving at each day? Me neither. If you ever had such a job, you'd still be there.
I got my first job when I was 18. I was a hostess at Denny's. It took less than a week for me to start disliking it immensly. Denny's managers suck ass. In fact, they can all line up and suck my ass. As can most people who work at Denny's for that matter. Denny's managers somehow think that they're managing a five star restaurant and you are not good enough to work there. It's Denny's for crying out loud! Get over yourselves!! And your co-workers aren't much better. They'll step all over you to get one more rung up the ladder.
But this is pretty much what you'll find in any workplace. And you still wonder why I don't want a job?!? How many times has a supervisor or co-worker made you cry at work? Why is this little thing called a 'paycheck' worth your emotional anguish? You are wasting a third of your day with people who are making you feel bad. And for what?? The glory of being able to say, "Hey! I work for a living!" Well, so do dick suckers! Kudos to you!
So, like me, you go from one craptacular job to the next mistakenly measuring your worth on being paid $0.25 more an hour than your neighbor. What a joyful existance! I've sweated over a deep fryer, been shoved in a cubicle and carried around boxes of office supplies that weighed more than me. I've been shouted at, cursed out and generally made to feel worthless despite excelling at every job I ever took. I've never been fired, never been laid-off, never even had to take a pay cut. And yet I got told on a daily basis how much I suck at pretty much any given profession. I'd stick with each job until I just couldn't take going there anymore and would promptly start looking for a new one.
Jobs where I've been paid to take loads of crap from other people:
Denny's - Hostess, Waitress, Unit Leader
Some Dipshit Office - Data Processor, Lead Data Processer
The Mall - Junior Elf, Senior Elf
Party World - Stocker/Cashier, Lead Stocker, Asst. Manager
Office Depot - Stocker, Cashier, Customer Service Manager
Reader's Market - Stocker, Asst. Manager, Department Manager
Dial One Carpet Care - Receptionist, Office Manager
Montgomery Ward's - Telemarketer, Row Leader
Psychic Hotline - Psychic
County - Probationary Medi-Cal Worker, Medi-Cal Worker
I must have been doing SOMETHING right to get promoted at nearly every job I've ever had. But it's never good enough! And of course there's the worst job of all... Looking for a job. This is where you get to come up out of your own pocket and pay to take crap from shitheads that, under other circumstances, you wouldn't allow to buy you a cup of coffee. Still feel like calling me lazy? Last year I was informed by the Social Security Office that I would be eligible to start drawing my Social Security Retirement in a little less than two years. O.O (<-- Holy Shit! face) I called them up to explain that there must be a mistake. Nope, I have worked as many hours as the average 53 year old person!
"But don't you feel guilty about being on Disability?" Being on Disability means that one is disabled. I have a disability. I have been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and agoraphobia. This means that all the crap I've taken over all those years has finally driven me insane. (I'll get more into this in other installments) I'm terrified of leaving my home because someone somewhere out there is just waiting to drop their load of shit on me and punish me for not being what they want me to be. These pack of rat bastards have put me here and now they want to bitch about me being here?!? Go fuck yourselves! Before you get on my case about other people working for my disablity payments, go back and read up a couple of paragraphs. I worked for them! Me! It's MY money. I'm am not about to feel one moment worth of guilt for collecting money that was set aside out of MY paychecks for ME!
"So nobody should bother working?" Haven't you been paying attention? This is MY livejournal. Where I talk about things pertaining to ME. There are lots of folks out there who enjoy working. Cheers to 'em, but I'm not one of their number.
"Okay! Okay!", I hear you guys saying, "Well how about college? Surely you want to do something with your life!" College. An establishment of learning. What do I want to learn? *Pooh impersonation: Think...think...think...* NOTHING! There's nothing I want to learn right now. Let's flip through the local community college book to see if something catches my eye. Ooh! Hear's one! "Advanced Origami". Strange that they don't offer "Beginning Origami". What about "Macrome' For Fun and Profit"? Who the hell comes up with these course titles?! I have a better idea. How about I stay at home and let those who want to learn, do so. If I ever get some wild hair across my ass and decide that I want to learn something, I will go and learn it. Until then, I'm doing exactly what I want to do with my life. Nothing. And don't call me Shirly!
So now I ask you, How is having a job going to enrich my life? Is it for self satisfaction? I think I've already disproved that little theory. Is it to achieve that stylish lable 'Taxpayer'? Please! Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. And yes, got crap for it. It must be for the extra money! But I don't need any extra money. I already have everything that I need (shelter, food, clothing, etc...) and quite a few other things besides. Such as satellite TV and DSL. So if the extra money that I'd be puting myself through hell for isn't for me, who is it for? You?!? On what fucked over bass ackwards world does it make sense for me to make myself unhappy so that you can feel a bit better about yourself?!?
Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting episode: Piss on Simmons and Pass the Shortcake!