These are the moments these are the times
So I have realized that my journal has become rather boring, so I decided I would put something semi-interesting in here.
The first marking period is almost over and I find it hard to believe. It seems as though the first day was just a few weeks ago. My parents are going to go insane when they see my report card. It's not like my grades are bad, they really just aren't up to my standards or my parents. I'm not failing I just don't have the grades I want to have. I'm used to having at least half of my grades over a 95, and that's what my parents expect. This topic has come up with people and we all agree, we aren't getting the grades we are accustomed to having. I think it's because for the first time we actually have to try. I don't mean to sound concieted saying this, but I never studied last year, I had no problems, but now things are getting much harder and we are expected to do more. It's not as though we are incapable of doing the work, it's just we aren't used to having to try as hard as we have to now. I slept through math last year, this year I have to pay a lot of attention to actually grasp the concepts. Science last year was a joke, and this I am struggling and we are just starting real chemistry. I'm not really sure how to explain what I am saying, it's not that my grades are really bad, but they just aren't at the standards I have. And so many are happy with getting 80's and those are good grades, but when you are accustomed to getting grades in the high 90's those grades aren't good enough. People just have different standards. I don't know how much sense this made, but I just feel as though I really need to start focusing on school more than I have been because my parents are not going to be happy, but I just hope to have grades up by next marking period
Okay, so a contiunation.
I adore my friends, really. If I had the choice to keep one thing in my life the same, it would be them, they are the best friends I really could ever ask for. And as much as there are cliques within our clique, we all love eachother to death and they are just a great group of people. I grew up with most of them, and being together for so long and not hating eachother is something cool by itself. I mean most of us have been together since at least 4th grade seek, and we were always together for 3 straight years. And really, I may not be as good of friends with some of them as I used to be, they still are some of my really good friends even if we don't hang out much anymore. But really Ash is the best friend I could ever ask for, we just complete eachother. We balance eachother out, and I honestly don't think I could ever get sick of her, even after being with her for a complete week. We just get along perfectly no matter how different we are. And really, out of all of our friends I think Ash and I have the strongest frienship out of anyone, it doesn't matter that we go to different schools now. We call eachother and would talk all day if we could, but we just catch up, it's like we don't need to talk everyday to stay best friends. Our friendship is strong enough to know that even if we don't get to talk everyday or say it we are eachothers best friends and no matter what that will never ever change, and I honestly love her more than some of my family. We talked about what I have been elaborating about at dance today, and it's true, we know we care about eachother, it goes without saying. And we just have such a strong friendship, we are just comfortable around eachother. Like today we were getting measured for costumes and when Joanne was measuring us she had her head on my shoulder and it may sound stupid, but it was just reasurring because I have missed her a lot and had doubts, we both did. She has been my best friend for 10 years, it's hard to just lose that in a year. And sometimes I really wonder why it's fair. Why does our school have to be full of so many fucking scumbags? Why don't people know how to stay out of things that aren't any of their fucking business? But I guess what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.
This journal is ridiculously long and it's going to be longer!
Just a short thing, my english teacher is the biggest bitch I have ever met, I despise her!!!
Okay anyways.
I can't wait to get out of this hole of a town, but really I can't imagine my life away from here. Like I know I will miss my friends and whatnot but I just can't imagine living somewhere else. No matter how much I hate WHS and all other Watertown schools I can't imagine being somewhere else. I can't imagine not going to Dry Hill friday nights and Saturday afternoons. I can't imagine having a mall that has more than three decent clothing stores(I would love it, but I'm so used to our shitty mall). I am just so used to life here, I have lived in the same house my whole life. Well kinda, I have always lived in this house, but my mom has moved around a bit. But I just can't imagine being somewhere else, I don't know how to explain what I am trying to say. I'm just so used to life here. But really this place would be a complete ghost town if it weren't for Ft. Drum. This place is already pretty darn shitty, if Ft. Drum wasn't here it would be even worse.
Really, I am just happy with my life right now. No matter what has happened or whatever, I'm okay. For the first time in a long time, I am okay. I'm not crying myself to sleep, I'm not always sad. I'm okay. And that's progress for me. I was really getting there last year, I was finally getting better, and then everything with Ash and other things and it just went downhill. I feel like if I can recover from this, I can do anything. Because really 7th and 8th grade were the worst years of my life, I can't even explain how bad it was. But I'm glad to just be okay now, I'm not good, but I'm also not bad. I'm okay. And sure I have bad days, or periods of time when everything just comes back, but for the most part I'm good, I'm happy. For the first time in about 10 years, I'm really happy. My friends keep me sane, my family is bearable I guess, school there is really nothing to complain about. Things are good, and I'm happy for the first time in so long. =)
The first marking period is almost over and I find it hard to believe. It seems as though the first day was just a few weeks ago. My parents are going to go insane when they see my report card. It's not like my grades are bad, they really just aren't up to my standards or my parents. I'm not failing I just don't have the grades I want to have. I'm used to having at least half of my grades over a 95, and that's what my parents expect. This topic has come up with people and we all agree, we aren't getting the grades we are accustomed to having. I think it's because for the first time we actually have to try. I don't mean to sound concieted saying this, but I never studied last year, I had no problems, but now things are getting much harder and we are expected to do more. It's not as though we are incapable of doing the work, it's just we aren't used to having to try as hard as we have to now. I slept through math last year, this year I have to pay a lot of attention to actually grasp the concepts. Science last year was a joke, and this I am struggling and we are just starting real chemistry. I'm not really sure how to explain what I am saying, it's not that my grades are really bad, but they just aren't at the standards I have. And so many are happy with getting 80's and those are good grades, but when you are accustomed to getting grades in the high 90's those grades aren't good enough. People just have different standards. I don't know how much sense this made, but I just feel as though I really need to start focusing on school more than I have been because my parents are not going to be happy, but I just hope to have grades up by next marking period
Okay, so a contiunation.
I adore my friends, really. If I had the choice to keep one thing in my life the same, it would be them, they are the best friends I really could ever ask for. And as much as there are cliques within our clique, we all love eachother to death and they are just a great group of people. I grew up with most of them, and being together for so long and not hating eachother is something cool by itself. I mean most of us have been together since at least 4th grade seek, and we were always together for 3 straight years. And really, I may not be as good of friends with some of them as I used to be, they still are some of my really good friends even if we don't hang out much anymore. But really Ash is the best friend I could ever ask for, we just complete eachother. We balance eachother out, and I honestly don't think I could ever get sick of her, even after being with her for a complete week. We just get along perfectly no matter how different we are. And really, out of all of our friends I think Ash and I have the strongest frienship out of anyone, it doesn't matter that we go to different schools now. We call eachother and would talk all day if we could, but we just catch up, it's like we don't need to talk everyday to stay best friends. Our friendship is strong enough to know that even if we don't get to talk everyday or say it we are eachothers best friends and no matter what that will never ever change, and I honestly love her more than some of my family. We talked about what I have been elaborating about at dance today, and it's true, we know we care about eachother, it goes without saying. And we just have such a strong friendship, we are just comfortable around eachother. Like today we were getting measured for costumes and when Joanne was measuring us she had her head on my shoulder and it may sound stupid, but it was just reasurring because I have missed her a lot and had doubts, we both did. She has been my best friend for 10 years, it's hard to just lose that in a year. And sometimes I really wonder why it's fair. Why does our school have to be full of so many fucking scumbags? Why don't people know how to stay out of things that aren't any of their fucking business? But I guess what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.
This journal is ridiculously long and it's going to be longer!
Just a short thing, my english teacher is the biggest bitch I have ever met, I despise her!!!
Okay anyways.
I can't wait to get out of this hole of a town, but really I can't imagine my life away from here. Like I know I will miss my friends and whatnot but I just can't imagine living somewhere else. No matter how much I hate WHS and all other Watertown schools I can't imagine being somewhere else. I can't imagine not going to Dry Hill friday nights and Saturday afternoons. I can't imagine having a mall that has more than three decent clothing stores(I would love it, but I'm so used to our shitty mall). I am just so used to life here, I have lived in the same house my whole life. Well kinda, I have always lived in this house, but my mom has moved around a bit. But I just can't imagine being somewhere else, I don't know how to explain what I am trying to say. I'm just so used to life here. But really this place would be a complete ghost town if it weren't for Ft. Drum. This place is already pretty darn shitty, if Ft. Drum wasn't here it would be even worse.
Really, I am just happy with my life right now. No matter what has happened or whatever, I'm okay. For the first time in a long time, I am okay. I'm not crying myself to sleep, I'm not always sad. I'm okay. And that's progress for me. I was really getting there last year, I was finally getting better, and then everything with Ash and other things and it just went downhill. I feel like if I can recover from this, I can do anything. Because really 7th and 8th grade were the worst years of my life, I can't even explain how bad it was. But I'm glad to just be okay now, I'm not good, but I'm also not bad. I'm okay. And sure I have bad days, or periods of time when everything just comes back, but for the most part I'm good, I'm happy. For the first time in about 10 years, I'm really happy. My friends keep me sane, my family is bearable I guess, school there is really nothing to complain about. Things are good, and I'm happy for the first time in so long. =)