from the 061002
Bah. That's all i can say. But don't you worry, it's not bah in the negative sense. It's a good bah, i guess. Hmm....So what was the last thing that i wrote...*checks*... Yeah, i AM talking all the time about pseudo-geekyness lately. And yeah, i fucking AM a pseudo-geek, if i'm sitting for the whole day on making other people's websites, overhauling my own site, too. Not that i got that early up, but as soon as i was alive, i was ALIVE! People (like, my parents), who don't really qualify as "people", but anyway, they're telling me that it's crazy to be wasting my time in front of the screen. They tell me "oh, look outside, the sun is shining!". Well, i happen to not give a crap about that, do i? Why? I don't know. Because if i'm (sort of) figuring something out, than that's succeeding. And succeeding for me is worth it, regardless if it's sitting in a stinking basement or if it's in the cruel sun of mexico. I know i haven't done anything "big", but i felt that i did, because the true achievement was to sit down and starting it. I did something i never thought i'd do. I took my page and did it again from scratch. I mean, the main skeleton. I did it, just like i told myself all the time: i should just try to figure out that problem...it just can't be... Well, i did it. You remember that part below all the windows in my page, where the "made with kewlpad" -button is. That end-part's width was weird, wasn't it? Yeah, well, i'm not sure i knew what i was doing. The main Table system was messed up. Even the fucking validator didn't "rescue" me, the glitch was visible, and although that "end-part" looked in mozilla even better than on IE, i decided that i'm having only half of the work done here. Well, after having e-roz's page started a day earlier, i felt quite "trained". I created on my desktop a new text-file, renamed it to .html, started writing a general table and finally made the whole "idea" of what my page's table should be like. I'm not talking about how i wanted to change the page's layout, i'm talking about how the table should be really structured, so that i would understand if what i was doing was actually possible or only relying on the browser's rendering engine. So i finished the plan, and started applying css. Basically, there were two problems, that gave me all the trouble with the previous version of the page; First of all, the main table was structed wrong. I don't even know how, i just know that it was wrong, and that's why i made it from scratch. The second big problem was to align those side-buttons right. The main structuring Table was set on cellspacing="7" or something like that, so all the seperate windows would have some neat distance between them. But those side-buttons are part of the table, so they had that distance, too. When set the cellspacing to 0 they were just where i wanted them - without any distance between them and the visible main part, but then all the windows were totally squashed together, too. So what to do? To apply margin on every window seperatly, and that's what i did. for some reason i decided to use css, but that's what i was deciding generally for the last week of html scripting. And now? yes, the page looks almost like it did before, only that i didn't have that much trouble with adding the banner, i was able to add also the copyright-bar above it again. For some very strange reason, the browser doesn't center my stuff inside the table when i'm asking him to do so. Anyway, everything's set up. The weird clumsy widening-shrinking effect that you might see when entering this page for the first time or after flushing your cache is still not gone, though. i thought it'd be because i haven't set a general width for the main table, but that doesn't help, apparently.
Yep, the grapy project gave me some hard time, too. She had chosen her 3 colors, of which i only got along with 2 of. Whatever, i somehow realized that i'm got too used to the whole typical nested-table scheme. I wanted to do something "different" for her, so i tried out some fancy frameset thing. Crazy, about 5 or six different frames, and it looked crappy. In the end i was asking myself, why not use the good old (old, haha...NOT) Iframe, so that's probably what i'm going to use after all. I'm still not ready for "other" designs. And i'm not ready for fancy heavy graphics, because i'm in for light designs, she doesn't have a fast connection anyway.
About E-roz's page: i'm waiting for him to deliver me some content, or there won't be anything i'm afraid.
So what's been going on during Shabbat? My mom's been bugging me quite a lot about "doing something". During dinner we also had some sort of debate with my dad whether i am to blame for the car's problem with the gear or not. Anyway, sooner or late the discussion changed topic and i was the main target. At least for my mom, and she started to (try to) convince me to go to one of the schools and trying to apply there although they're not accepting any applications for this semester anymore. "If you're really gonna be persistent, they'll let you in, they're starvin' for students". Well, anyway, i told her that i have no intention to do that, and at some point she got really mad that i should do "something" about my portfolio, something "official", and then i snapped at her and asked, if i'd be learning at some "official" place about preparing my portfolio, would she then please be able to promise me frankly that she would absolutely and finally be able to shut her mouth up. Geez. (yeah, i should do the work).
Ok, during saturday, i also read in the fountainhead;
"..Gail Wynand was twenty when he fell in love. He had known everything there was to know about sex since the age of thirteen. He had had many girls. He never spoke of love, created no romantic illusion and treated the whole matter as a simple animal transaction; but at this he was an expert - and women could tell it, just by looking at him. The girl with whom he feel in love had an exquisite beauty, a beauty to be worshiped, not desired. She was fragile and silent. Her face told of the lovely mysteries withing her, left unexpressed.
She became Gail wynand's mistress. He allowed himself the weakness of being happy. He would have married her at once, had she mentioned it. But they said little to each other. He felt that everything was understood between them.
One evening he spoke. Sitting at her feet, his face raised to her, he allowed his sould to be heard. "my darling, anything you wish, anything I am, anything i can ever be ...That's what I want to offer you - not the thing I'll get for you, but the thing in me that will make me able to get them. That thing - a man can't renounce it - but I want to renounce it - so that it will be yours - so that it will be in your sevice - only for you." The girl smiled and asked: "Do you think I'm prettier than Maggy kelly?"
He got up. He said nothing and walked out of the house. He never saw that girl again. Gail Wynand, who prided himself on never needing a lesson twice, did not fall in love again in the years that followed..."