(no subject)
They're here now. I can see them every day if I want to. I do.
Dad's in bed, propped up with pillows so he can see outside. I don't know if he really knows what he sees, but I know that he likes it when the sun strikeshis face. He turns his face to it. He follows it for as far as he can, until the sun moves past his bed, and all he can do is follow it with his eyes.
Sometimes, I can watch him looking out the window, and his eyes really do track the seagulls. He really does see the way the clouds part, and the way the light sparkles on the water.
I don't know whether or not he actually understands what he's seeing but he's actually seeing and that has to be something.
He eats all right, if you keep reminding him that the spoon is there. Sometimes he forgets what he's doing when he's still doing it, and the food goes down his front, but I think he think he's actually eating a little bit better. I make sure he gets the same stuff I do. I mean..I don't think that they wouldn't feed him good food in Saint Mungo's, but it probably wasn't very exciting, you know?
Right now, I think he likes cold coffee with loads of ice cream in it. He's closed his eyes a couple of times, while he's eating it, like he is concentrating on how it tastes.
Mum doesn't leave his side much. They were together for so long, in Saint Mungo's I think it's natural for her to stay there now. Looking after one another.
The Apparition scared her pretty badly. For a while she kept shuffling from one foot to the other whenever I came in, like she was afraid I was going to grab her and Apparate away again to some really terrible place. I felt really bad about it, but what else could I do? I couldn't let her be burned up.
She still shuffles, now and then, but it takes her places now. She shuffles to Dad's bed, and then to the window. Back and forth. I know she's seeing things, I think she wants to tell him about them. Or maybe bring them to him. Or something. She just can't.
She doesn't wear that gowny thing, now. She's wearing proper robes. Luna gave them to me, they're some of her old ones. They're really too short for Mum, and sort of tight across the stomach, but Mum likes them, you can tell. She keeps running her fingers over the seams, like she's making sure they're still there and it's all going to stay together. Mum won't really let me help her with anything like dressing and that's okay because it'd be sort of embarrassing. One of the Healers helps her get washed up and dressed, and then she comes out and sits down so I can brush her hair.
It's still as soft as. It's brown but it's mostly going grey now. I can just about make the back part lie flat with the brush, but I have to use the alice band that I got from Luna for the front part. It makes Mum look funny. Sort of like a first year who got caught in a..
She likes to put her own slippers on. I have to remember not to help her too much.I want to, because she tries so hard. I want her to use that energy for other things. Like talking. Or walking outside. But I think that outside is too scary right now. It's too big. There are too many directions that things can come at you.
She still likes Droobles. Really really likes Droobles. I go with her, down the hall to Dimas Shaftoe, who's one of the Healers. He's always got Droobles in his pockets. She holds on to my wrist really tightly, and she walks very slowly. I never know if I'm protecting her, or she's protecting me.
I suppose it doesn't really matter.
When she gets the Droobles, she unwraps it and she gives it to me first. She still gives me things. She wants it. You can tell, she wants it, but she gives it to me. She pushes it into my hands, and she's not happy until I pretend to eat it. Then she's happy, and I can give her the piece I 'found' in my pocket, and she puts it in her mouth and chews very slowly. With her eyes closed, and her face tipped up.
I wish I knew just what she was thinking then.
She will chew exactly five times on the Droobles, and then she takes my wrist in her hand. It's time to go back. So we go back, one slow step at a time. You can tell she's sort of tired, and glad to be back in her room. She goes over to my dad and checks to make sure he's still breathing, before she goes to sit on her bed.
Both of them watching the seagulls, now.
I slip away, and I don't think they even hear the door closing. But before I go, I put the wrapper in my pocket because I know she'd want me to have it.