I just don't know
I don't know why I try so hard. If the results are the same after trying different ways then why do I even bother. It just doesnt make sense. Maybe I'm going after the wrong people, making the people I'm going after are too much like me, and I don't want to be me. I think I should befriend people who aren't like me, who are what I want to be. But how do I know, how can I find out if people aren't like me. How do I stay away from the drama. The best line that I've ever heard in a lyric is this "I find sometimes it's easy to be myself. Sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else." I do find it's easy to be myself, but i find it would be better for me to be somebody else.
It's so easy to change how you look, because it's all material. It's incredibly tough to change who you are. It's who you are, so why would you change it, right? Even if you aren't happy with you are, it's still hard to change. It's hard not to be jealous, selfish, or trusting. I think the only way to actually change that is find very patient people that you want to be like and befriend them. You can learn by example, follow their ways, how they handle situations, how they avoid situations.
I'm handle shit the way I do. I don't let my guards down. I don't like to be lied to, I don't like to be stood up, I don't like to be disrespected, and I most certainly don't like to be out of the loop on things. If people have a problem with that then that's too fucking bad. I don't regret questioning people because I'm looking out for myself. Maybe I'm too selfish, oh fucking well. Just as much as that person was looking out for themselves because they felt disrespected I'm looking out for myself. I'm well prepared to drop friends in a heart beat and raise by guards and shut them out. And I think I'm going to start doing that. Starting now I'm only giving one chance to everyone, and that's the chance they have now. If you fuck it up, too bad. I'm sick of being walked on, sick of being treated like dirt, and sick of being lied to.
Most people wont see any change in me because most people don't affect me. But if I want to change myself I need to rid myself of people who cause nothing but trouble. I don't play games.
It's so easy to change how you look, because it's all material. It's incredibly tough to change who you are. It's who you are, so why would you change it, right? Even if you aren't happy with you are, it's still hard to change. It's hard not to be jealous, selfish, or trusting. I think the only way to actually change that is find very patient people that you want to be like and befriend them. You can learn by example, follow their ways, how they handle situations, how they avoid situations.
I'm handle shit the way I do. I don't let my guards down. I don't like to be lied to, I don't like to be stood up, I don't like to be disrespected, and I most certainly don't like to be out of the loop on things. If people have a problem with that then that's too fucking bad. I don't regret questioning people because I'm looking out for myself. Maybe I'm too selfish, oh fucking well. Just as much as that person was looking out for themselves because they felt disrespected I'm looking out for myself. I'm well prepared to drop friends in a heart beat and raise by guards and shut them out. And I think I'm going to start doing that. Starting now I'm only giving one chance to everyone, and that's the chance they have now. If you fuck it up, too bad. I'm sick of being walked on, sick of being treated like dirt, and sick of being lied to.
Most people wont see any change in me because most people don't affect me. But if I want to change myself I need to rid myself of people who cause nothing but trouble. I don't play games.