(no subject)
All these years I've tried to block every emotion possible. After being hurt over and over, its hard to want to feel anything at all. Subconciously I've put up a concrete wall around my soul. I feel dead sometimes. The one emotion that always gets out, whether it be controlled or not, is anger. My anger never fails.
I've come to love my anger. It protects me in a way. Its always there whenever I feel hurt. My vulnerability never surfaces, anger is always right there to keep it hidden. In a way its not a good thing though. I feel like such an angry person all the time. I'm tired of being portrayed as this bitch all the time. But I refuse to feel sad instead.
Last night I actually acted on my anger. I feel guilty today. I think I was entitled to my feelings just not the actions that occured because of them. I'm tired of being sad and mostly I'm just plain tired of being angry. I guess its time to reevaluate the situations I put myself into.
I've come to love my anger. It protects me in a way. Its always there whenever I feel hurt. My vulnerability never surfaces, anger is always right there to keep it hidden. In a way its not a good thing though. I feel like such an angry person all the time. I'm tired of being portrayed as this bitch all the time. But I refuse to feel sad instead.
Last night I actually acted on my anger. I feel guilty today. I think I was entitled to my feelings just not the actions that occured because of them. I'm tired of being sad and mostly I'm just plain tired of being angry. I guess its time to reevaluate the situations I put myself into.