[log] i'm the sadness in the joy
[19:55] * Teobhan is reading... in his bedroom, because she's started spending more time there recently. Pregnancy makes her more reclusive, especially since it's still got to be hidden. Fortunately she's not anywhere near showing yet.
[20:05] * Morray is busy, lately, in and out with work - out more than in and distracted and distant when he /is/ at home and not locked away in his office. Today hasn't really been an exception, but he does come out of his own volition. Before dark, even.
[20:07] Teobhan: "Ah," she says, without looking up--though there's a smile in her voice, "he does exist. Hello."
[20:09] * Morray closes the door quietly behind himself. "Were you beginning to wonder?"
[20:10] Teobhan: "Maybe a little," she admits, turning to look at him.
[20:12] * Morray offers her a brief, apologetically wintry smile. "I'm sorry."
[20:14] Teobhan: "I don't really mind," she says, light, "Come here, tell me how your day has been."
[20:17] * Morray shrugs off his coat and joins her, sitting down and straightening, compulsively turning slightly away. "I have something for you. As a matter of fact."
[20:20] Teobhan: "Oh, yes?" She looks curious, also: leaning in to kiss him.
[20:24] * Morray ... will kiss her, first. It's a much easier way of showing affection than.................anything else.
[20:24] * Teobhan breaks it first, because she knows his evasive tactics. "You were saying?"
[20:28] Morray: "Yes," he says, briskly, sitting back and producing from inside a pocket a small silk bag.
[20:32] * Teobhan watches, quietly attentive.
[20:36] * Morray fishes a ring (a simple thing in sapphire) out of it and offers it to her, wordlessly, holding it by the bottom edges between thumb and forefinger.
[20:42] Teobhan: "Oh," she says, softly, after a moment. She takes it, and looks at him. "It's beautiful."
[20:53] Morray: "It seemed to me appropriate." This is romance right here.
[21:00] Teobhan: "Thank you." Well, it beats Maldis, let's be honest. She kisses him again, harder this time.
[21:06] * Morray certainly can't protest that, leaning into her. She's not showing yet, no, but he brushes his fingertips against where she will be, in a few months - not lingering, barely touching. "You're quite welcome."
[21:13] * Teobhan curls closer to him. "When?" she asks, absently.
[21:14] Morray: "When?" Morray repeats, blankly - oh, of course. "Soon. I'm looking into the arrangements."
[21:15] Teobhan: "All right," she half-smiles, mild, "I'll get myself a dress as soon as possible, then." Discreetly.
[21:18] * Morray leans the side of his face against her hair briefly. "I'm sure it'll make the next year or so positively fascinating." As if it weren't already going to be.
[21:20] Teobhan: "Certainly," she agrees, "but after this past one, I think we'll do well for ourselves." They've been through a lot. Him more so, in fairness, but still.
[21:22] Morray: "We may at that." He veers between optimism and despair on a good day, that's...a thing. "Are you well?"
[21:27] Teobhan: "I slept most of the day," she admits, "I get tired much more easily now--already."
[21:42] Morray: "It can hardly hurt to rest," he answers, philosophically.
[21:52] Teobhan: "No, of course not. I only want to make sure I'm...still productive." Arguably having a child is being productive, but he's going to have to yell at her a bit to keep her away from trouble for eight more months.
[21:54] Morray: "I'm sure we can keep you occupied." Even if it's only arguing with him about suitable occupation, yes.
[22:04] Teobhan: "Perhaps, yes. I don't think there are any thefts or scandals for me to preoccupy myself with." ...she sounds oddly disappointed.
[22:11] Morray: "Nor, I think, would that be a very good idea." ...You know.
[22:42] Teobhan: "It's possible something of that nature might come up, though. And if it does--"
[22:43] Morray: "No."
[22:43] * Morray has tensed, perhaps predictably, expressionlessly flat and not bothering to actually /argue/ his point.
[22:52] Teobhan: "...I'll still be waiting 'til I've had our child to do anything," she sighs.
[22:55] * Morray holds himself there, silently, possibly calculating the odds of ever being in a fit state to discuss this rationally. (They're not good, by the way.) After ... breathing out, he says, "We can argue about it then."
[22:56] * Teobhan watches his expression, and nods slightly, moving over to put her arms around him. "Nothing is going to happen to me," she promises, "we might've happened on all of this accidentally, but I'm not letting it go."
[23:00] * Morray covers her hands with his and tries to be gracious about her reassurance. "Of course - of course."
[23:11] * Teobhan just kisses him again. A lot. It communicates better than they do sometimes, people too smart for their own good.
[23:14] * Morray prefers being kissed to being reassured, for one thing. "The wedding will be small," he says, eventually.
[23:24] * Teobhan will keep that up along his jaw, then. "Mm--understandably. Sera will be disappointed if she's not there."
[23:27] Morray: "Of course." There's a moment of thoughtful silence. "I expect you will invite your brother?"
[23:40] Teobhan: "Ah. Probably. He'll behave himself." If she has to drug him first.
[23:57] Morray: "I'm sure that he will."
[00:00] Teobhan: "The last time I got married, there was a big to-do. Styric marrying an Elene, becoming a Duchess, you know." Her smile is wry. "It didn't really mean much, in the end. I think smaller sets a better tone."
[00:05] Morray: "Both less and more gossip," he says, cynical and not incorrect, and then kisses her shoulder lightly. "Quiet will be nice."
[08:14] Teobhan: "Is there anyone in particular you'd like to see there?"
[08:15] * Morray has to stop and consider this. "My cousin will expect to attend. Lenda."
[08:16] Teobhan: "Of course, yes. And the Marquise as well, I assume. Will Lenda be very surprised?" She imagines he'll be amused, at the very least.
[08:19] Morray: "Likely." Morray spares a smile, brief as it is; he and Lenda get along surprisingly well for having vastly, wildly, incredibly different temperaments.
[08:31] Teobhan: "It'll be nice to speak to him." She looks down at her stomach. "It's not showing yet, is it?"
[08:33] * Morray rests his hand there. "Not yet. No."
[08:35] Teobhan: "I suppose we're luckier if it takes a while."
[08:39] * Morray is briefly silent, and then says, "I suppose so," neutrally.
[08:45] * Teobhan watches his expression and turns away to pick up her book, a little down.
[08:47] * Morray stays where he is, his hand drifting to her hip - he's not holding tightly but he's not going anywhere, either. ...or saying anything. Good job.
[08:50] Teobhan: "I feel a bit at odds lately," she admits, quietly.
[08:52] * Morray touches her hair, lightly. Maybe he's reminding himself of her. Who knows. "Do you?" It's not dismissive, he's just...not good at ... people.
[08:54] Teobhan: "I know it's difficult for you to talk about--how you feel, and I'm perhaps not much better, and I know this year has been terrible for us, but..." She turns to look at him, solemn. "Would you still touch me like this if I weren't having your child? It's just--
[08:55] Teobhan: sometimes we're this, and sometimes it's like you keep yourself apart, and I don't know if you really want me to stay or just the baby." It's so quiet and controlled, because...for all her external flightiness sometimes, she is not a woman who really cracks. And yet, there's a sort of desperation in there--she'd gone years without feeling wanted, much less needed, and she really desire it here.
[09:02] * Morray is quiet, and still, and /controlled/, yes, but what's clawing its way up in him isn't desperation, it's helplessness that's been there since he arrived and has proceeded to heighten to levels he can't ignore (but tries to, even so) in recent weeks. "Would you stay, if not for the child?" He's not sure if it's 'I try' or 'I want to try' that he needs to say.
[09:04] Teobhan: "/Yes/," she says, emphatic and a little hurt and near tears.
[09:12] * Morray ... wants to kiss her, then, he thinks, but she's asking him for /words/. So he tries. "It's only I know where I stand with a child." Slightly to the left, bemused. He's quiet again before he says, "I didn't want you to go." Before.
[09:16] Teobhan: "You have to tell me," she says, softly, "what you want from me. More than just the technicalities of protecting me--there are other ways I can be hurt. By you."
[09:18] * Morray reflects on this for a moment, in silence, before he says, "I want you to tell me what you want."
[09:21] Teobhan: "...I want to know whether or not you care about me," she tells him, wondering why this is so hard to say, "I don't expect--I'm not a romantic woman, not really, but I need to be needed, and failing that, at least...wanted, on my own merits--not because I'm having a child."
[09:26] * Morray needs her, wants her, cares about her; one of those is easier to say and you probably don't need three guesses which. Morray thinks it'd be easier if he could say, with certainty, that he /loves/ her. (He might even be right. For once.) "All of those things," he settles on.
[09:32] Teobhan: "I don't want to be one more thing that--you seem so unhappy sometimes, and I know it's simply nothing I can touch, but..." Oh, now she /is/ crying. That's great. "Please say something more."
[09:36] * Morray sits forward, pressing the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs, like if he can't make her /stop/ crying he can at least...participate? (That's probably not it.) "You're an anchor," he says, "something to not leave. To never leave - I promise you that. I don't know what I'm doing here, you understand? I don't know any more than you do."
[09:42] * Teobhan leans into his hands, plaintive when she speaks: "I want to believe I could make you happy someday." And the thing is, she doesn't know. It's always been like that--she gives and gives, and at the end of the day all anyone says is how pretty she is. It's never enough. Maybe this time it'll be different, but she doesn't know yet, and she wants to.
[09:52] Morray: "You do make me happy," Morray says, eventually; almost gently, and probably rightly like he expects to be challenged on this.
[09:54] Teobhan: "I mean whole," she says, quiet and tear-streaked.
[09:57] Morray: "Whole?" he asks, that same familiar helplessness only under the surface.
[09:59] * Teobhan shakes her head slightly and straightens up, trying--failing--to regain her composure. "I'm sorry, there's no excuse for this sort of behavior--you've had a long day." The Duchess again.
[10:01] Morray: "/Teobhan/." Morray's almost sharp, certainly warning, but he doesn't really know where to go from there...so he repeats himself, "Whole? Please."
[10:01] Teobhan: "You're still grieving. And that's--absolutely to be /expected/."
[10:05] Morray: "It was unfair to them," he says, at length. "I'll carry that. I don't mean to hurt you in the process-"
[10:06] Teobhan: "No, it's not that, I simply feel that...you hold yourself apart because--of what it reminds you of, perhaps." She moves toward him, then, impulsively.
[10:08] * Morray almost hesitates before he pulls her the rest of the way, an arm around her waist. "...perhaps," he allows.
[10:11] Teobhan: "I'm afraid that if I tell you how much I need you, you'll be disconcerted by me," she tells him, matter-of-fact, "I'd say I want us to do things properly, but it might be out of the realm of possibility at this point."
[10:19] Morray: "I'm routinely disconcerted by you," Morray says, rueful if quiet, "and I need you. Regardless." This is more or less all the more romantic he gets.
[10:20] Teobhan: "Then we have that." It's more than she had before. She kisses him, then, even though she knows there are still tears on her face.