people suck...especially the good ones.
I went to see my dad today. It was good seeing him. I love him so much. I wish he lived closer. that way I could go see him all the time. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I could atleast call him whenever I want, but I can't even do that. I hate it. not having any control.
I also wish my writing didn't suck. Today I wrote more of my story, but when I was finished for the day, I reread some of it. I wanted to delete everything. Press backspace until the computer screen was blank. Its is so frustrating to look at someone elses writing, because I automatically compare it to my own. To myself, I say "why didn't i think of that?"..."why can't i be that creative?"..."why do words hate me so much?" Even when I randomly (and creepily) read others' journals, I am blown away by their writing. Next to them I feel so imcompetant. I guess I have just pretended I had some talent, being egged on by deceitful friends and family. Because I can put words together and make sentences, and then combine sentences to make paragraphs, I thought, Hey! I got this writing thing down pat.
Damn it all. yeah michael...i said it...
Alright...so I will try again tomorrow. Maybe then i will be filled with some inspiration or creativity. If there is a God, he/she should give me some talent. At anything. I am not that picky as of now. Musically? sure, I would love that. Athletically? hell, why not. Socially? Ok, friends would be awesome.
I also wish my writing didn't suck. Today I wrote more of my story, but when I was finished for the day, I reread some of it. I wanted to delete everything. Press backspace until the computer screen was blank. Its is so frustrating to look at someone elses writing, because I automatically compare it to my own. To myself, I say "why didn't i think of that?"..."why can't i be that creative?"..."why do words hate me so much?" Even when I randomly (and creepily) read others' journals, I am blown away by their writing. Next to them I feel so imcompetant. I guess I have just pretended I had some talent, being egged on by deceitful friends and family. Because I can put words together and make sentences, and then combine sentences to make paragraphs, I thought, Hey! I got this writing thing down pat.
Damn it all. yeah michael...i said it...
Alright...so I will try again tomorrow. Maybe then i will be filled with some inspiration or creativity. If there is a God, he/she should give me some talent. At anything. I am not that picky as of now. Musically? sure, I would love that. Athletically? hell, why not. Socially? Ok, friends would be awesome.