haha
"Today we salute you, Trendy Southern Girl. In your pointed-toes stilettos, you understand that having blisters and cramped pinky toes is a small price to pay for the approval of your peers. Sure, your Vera Bradley bag and oversized pearls may appear to have been stolen from your grandmother, but we rest assured that your Daddy bought them for you fair and square. And yes, you may be snobby to every guy that approaches you, but we know that you're only doing them a favor by helping them understand that they, are in fact, gay. So here's to you, Trendy Southern Girl, because everyone knows that behind your falsely-tanned skin there sits a real person in the driver seat of that SUV."