Title: "You may be a sinner..."
Status: OneShot
Fandom: Tales of Xillia
Characters/Pairing: Jude Mathis/Alvin
Disclaimer: Copyright @ Namco Bandai; no copyright infringement intended.
Rating: T
Genre: slash, character introspection, first kiss
Warnings: none
Summary: Alvin remembers his first kiss. Jude deserves something better.
You may be a sinner...
Alvin wasn't sure how they had ended up like this, close enough in a dark hotel room that he could feel the tickle of warm breath circling between them. Or maybe he had seen the signs and exploited them, led Jude on, as was second nature to him.
There was something sweet and painfully honest about the way that Jude wanted to move, press their lips together, yet stood frozen, backed against the wall. He felt warm too. His hand clutched at Alvin's back, a weight more heavy than it should be.
Alvin found the idea amusing that he might have retained some shreds of consciousness, enough to feel guilty over this. Ah, but he shouldn't lie to himself, that was a really bad habit - because right or wrong, he wanted.
Alvin remembered his first kiss, the force of it. It had been a disgusting, sloppy affair, tasting of cheap booze and cigarette smoke. He had been bruised and sticky the morning after, but his mother had lived another day, so it hadn't mattered. Pride had never gotten in Alvin's way to achieve his goals, not once.
But he wanted to give Jude a better memory to remember him by, even if the kid came to hate him. After all, you could only be forgiven so many times for going behind someones back, and Alvin dreaded the day he would reach the point where all bridges burned. - Not that he was hypocrite enough to cry over his own choices...
He leaned in closer, hoping his smile looked less smooth than reassuring, and moved his hand to tilt Jude's head up. Strands of black hair ran through his fingers, smelling of the forest they had traveled through. Alvin could feel Jude's muscles flex beneath the fabric of his clothes, as he closed the gap between them.
Jude's quick breath was hot on his cheeks as their eyes met and closed. Where Alvin's lips were chapped, Jude's were soft, and he left it at that, just a gentle touch, light pressure, no tongue. It was meant as a chance for Jude to regain his senses, push him away and run for it.
He didn't and it was Alvin who nearly panicked and broke away, because this felt just like Jude - painfully honest. Intimate. Dangerous.
Jude made a noise deep in his throat and held him in place. As his tongue licked into Alvin's mouth the mercenary didn't even try to stop him, all good intentions be damned.
The End