(no subject)
Those of you who are friends with Elliott on facebook may have read this already. I just wanted to post it for posterity; partially to show off the awfulness of it and partially to show you that I have profound problems. After Devan/Elliot's prompt, a link to a Craig'slist request for a script regarding, "female cyber assassins," I wrote this for a short period instead of actually working on my book. It was like I couldn't help it.
Abandoned warehouse, night
establishing shot
A well dressed man with a scar running from cheek to eyebrow, clouding one eye, stands behind a folding table in the light of a single lamp hanging from the ceiling.
Long shot. Motes of dust flicker through the stream of light, and armed men flank the man, barely visible in their black suits in the darkness. The warehouse door in the background is open, dimly illuminated only by the streetlights from the outside. Through the door we see a limo arrive.
Close shot of the front of the limo. It bears a pair of red flags at its front depicting crossed black stilettos.
Enter from background
Shot of a bearded man in a military officer's uniform stepping out of the limo. He bears a great many ribbons and medals on his chest. Immediately as he stands he is flanked by a pair of soldiers armed with assault rifles. One carries a black briefcase.
Tracking shot of the general entering the warehouse. His steps echo loudly in the silence. The glow of his cigar dimly illuminates the crags of his face as he puffs at it.
Viktor Tivadar: (accented, eastern European of some description) General Octavio.
General Octavio: (accented, Spanish) Senior Tivadar.
Tivadar: You are late General.
Octavio: You worry too much my friend. We both want what the other has.
Tivadar: I trust you have brought the money?
Octavio: Indeed Senior Tivadar. And you have the weapon?
Three quarters shot, downward angle. Tivadar motions to one of the men in the darkness beside him, and he sets down a large steel case on the table and opens it with great care.
Close shot of the inside of the case. It is lined with foam and contains a single glass canister, lined with gleaming steel framing covered in various valves and inscrutable gaskets. A green liquid bubbles within.
Octavio: [lifts the canister from the case, holding it up and examining it. He laughs] Well done my friend! [waves to the soldier with the briefcase, who sets it on the table] With this, we will crush the revolution! You have my gratitude amigo. [places the canister in a pocket]
Tivadar: As always, the Scorpio Syndicate appreciates your business. We look forward to our next-
Tivadar stiffens and begins producing wheezing gasps. He stands stock still.
Panning close-up shot. Pan down to the front of Tivadar's throat. A triangular metal point sticks just slightly through the front, drops of blood dribbling from it. Pan back and slowly to the right. Behind him we see a woman in a skin tight purple outfit with armored plates on its forearms and shins. A mask covers the lower part of her face. Her long blond hair is tied back in a tight pony tail. Panning further around we see she holds the grip of a tanto knife plunged through the back of Tivadar's neck so that it pokes just out the front. With a snap of the wrist she slips it from his throat with a spurt of blood from both sides.
Octavio: Madre De Dios!
Wide shot. Tivadar's men begin drawing weapons and the woman leaps over his falling body high in the air. (slow motion) As she comes down, the knives in each of her hands drive down through the top bodyguards' heads (abrupt end of slow motion).
Close up of Octavio: [gesticulating wildly] Matar! Matar! Andale!
Mid shot: The general's soldiers begin raising their rifles.
Profile shot: The woman kicks the table up, knocking the soldiers and the general back. She leaps between the two soldiers as they fall and as she passes their heads fly off. She kicks off the general's chest and disappears into the darkness.
Close-up of the general on the floor, scrambling to his hands and knees. He grabs the nearest soldier's rifle and gets to his feet, pointing it in every direction.
Betty: (from somewhere in the darkness) You were clever general Octavio. Very clever. Your political connections protected you from the law, and when that failed, your connections in the underworld protected you from the military, but nothing could protect you…
Deep shot. The woman drops silently to the ground behind the panicked general. The light from the street through the warehouse door leaves her in silhouette.
Betty:…from me.
Close up shot of General Octavio. He spins around and begins firing while screaming.
Jump cut of the woman disappearing impossibly fast into the shadows.
Jump cut back to General Octavio, spraying bullets in the direction in which she moved.
Close up of General Octavio as the gun begins dry clicking as he runs out of bullets.
Mid shot of General Octavio. He drops the rifle and pulls the canister out of his pocket.
General Octavio: You think I am afraid of death woman? You try and deny me what is mine? We both will die here today! [General Octavio winds back his arm as if to throw the canister down]
Close up of General Octavio's hand holding the canister. From behind a gloved female hand grabs it by the wrist.
Wide shot of General Octavio and the woman, still half hidden in the shadows. A sudden movement and the woman pulls General Octavio's arm from his shoulder. Blood sprays as Octavio howls in pain.
Close-up of the woman, holding the severed arm by the wrist, examining the canister. She turns her attention away from it.
High over-shoulder shot at General Octavio, writhing on the ground.
Upward shot of the woman.
Betty: Via Con Dios, General. [Betty moves her arm, there is the sound of metal severing flesh, and the general's screaming stops.]
Wide shot. The woman walks into the light.
Panning close-up, moving from the woman's feet slowly up to her face.
Betty: [holding a finger to an ear piece] Unit Beta-E, codename Betty, reporting.
Betty raises a hand and it folds back on a mechanical hinge. She takes the canister and slides it into a empty space within her forearm.
Betty: All targets down. The package is in hand. Returning to base.
Swelling music, title, "Female Cyber Assassins," in metallic font slams onto the screen with a sound like the blows of a hammer on an anvil. A moment later, it explodes.
Abandoned warehouse, night
establishing shot
A well dressed man with a scar running from cheek to eyebrow, clouding one eye, stands behind a folding table in the light of a single lamp hanging from the ceiling.
Long shot. Motes of dust flicker through the stream of light, and armed men flank the man, barely visible in their black suits in the darkness. The warehouse door in the background is open, dimly illuminated only by the streetlights from the outside. Through the door we see a limo arrive.
Close shot of the front of the limo. It bears a pair of red flags at its front depicting crossed black stilettos.
Enter from background
Shot of a bearded man in a military officer's uniform stepping out of the limo. He bears a great many ribbons and medals on his chest. Immediately as he stands he is flanked by a pair of soldiers armed with assault rifles. One carries a black briefcase.
Tracking shot of the general entering the warehouse. His steps echo loudly in the silence. The glow of his cigar dimly illuminates the crags of his face as he puffs at it.
Viktor Tivadar: (accented, eastern European of some description) General Octavio.
General Octavio: (accented, Spanish) Senior Tivadar.
Tivadar: You are late General.
Octavio: You worry too much my friend. We both want what the other has.
Tivadar: I trust you have brought the money?
Octavio: Indeed Senior Tivadar. And you have the weapon?
Three quarters shot, downward angle. Tivadar motions to one of the men in the darkness beside him, and he sets down a large steel case on the table and opens it with great care.
Close shot of the inside of the case. It is lined with foam and contains a single glass canister, lined with gleaming steel framing covered in various valves and inscrutable gaskets. A green liquid bubbles within.
Octavio: [lifts the canister from the case, holding it up and examining it. He laughs] Well done my friend! [waves to the soldier with the briefcase, who sets it on the table] With this, we will crush the revolution! You have my gratitude amigo. [places the canister in a pocket]
Tivadar: As always, the Scorpio Syndicate appreciates your business. We look forward to our next-
Tivadar stiffens and begins producing wheezing gasps. He stands stock still.
Panning close-up shot. Pan down to the front of Tivadar's throat. A triangular metal point sticks just slightly through the front, drops of blood dribbling from it. Pan back and slowly to the right. Behind him we see a woman in a skin tight purple outfit with armored plates on its forearms and shins. A mask covers the lower part of her face. Her long blond hair is tied back in a tight pony tail. Panning further around we see she holds the grip of a tanto knife plunged through the back of Tivadar's neck so that it pokes just out the front. With a snap of the wrist she slips it from his throat with a spurt of blood from both sides.
Octavio: Madre De Dios!
Wide shot. Tivadar's men begin drawing weapons and the woman leaps over his falling body high in the air. (slow motion) As she comes down, the knives in each of her hands drive down through the top bodyguards' heads (abrupt end of slow motion).
Close up of Octavio: [gesticulating wildly] Matar! Matar! Andale!
Mid shot: The general's soldiers begin raising their rifles.
Profile shot: The woman kicks the table up, knocking the soldiers and the general back. She leaps between the two soldiers as they fall and as she passes their heads fly off. She kicks off the general's chest and disappears into the darkness.
Close-up of the general on the floor, scrambling to his hands and knees. He grabs the nearest soldier's rifle and gets to his feet, pointing it in every direction.
Betty: (from somewhere in the darkness) You were clever general Octavio. Very clever. Your political connections protected you from the law, and when that failed, your connections in the underworld protected you from the military, but nothing could protect you…
Deep shot. The woman drops silently to the ground behind the panicked general. The light from the street through the warehouse door leaves her in silhouette.
Betty:…from me.
Close up shot of General Octavio. He spins around and begins firing while screaming.
Jump cut of the woman disappearing impossibly fast into the shadows.
Jump cut back to General Octavio, spraying bullets in the direction in which she moved.
Close up of General Octavio as the gun begins dry clicking as he runs out of bullets.
Mid shot of General Octavio. He drops the rifle and pulls the canister out of his pocket.
General Octavio: You think I am afraid of death woman? You try and deny me what is mine? We both will die here today! [General Octavio winds back his arm as if to throw the canister down]
Close up of General Octavio's hand holding the canister. From behind a gloved female hand grabs it by the wrist.
Wide shot of General Octavio and the woman, still half hidden in the shadows. A sudden movement and the woman pulls General Octavio's arm from his shoulder. Blood sprays as Octavio howls in pain.
Close-up of the woman, holding the severed arm by the wrist, examining the canister. She turns her attention away from it.
High over-shoulder shot at General Octavio, writhing on the ground.
Upward shot of the woman.
Betty: Via Con Dios, General. [Betty moves her arm, there is the sound of metal severing flesh, and the general's screaming stops.]
Wide shot. The woman walks into the light.
Panning close-up, moving from the woman's feet slowly up to her face.
Betty: [holding a finger to an ear piece] Unit Beta-E, codename Betty, reporting.
Betty raises a hand and it folds back on a mechanical hinge. She takes the canister and slides it into a empty space within her forearm.
Betty: All targets down. The package is in hand. Returning to base.
Swelling music, title, "Female Cyber Assassins," in metallic font slams onto the screen with a sound like the blows of a hammer on an anvil. A moment later, it explodes.