so this is what heart break feels like.

[neverlosetouch]

how can someone hurt someone else so horribly bad?
without really doing anything.

i wish that this hadn't started again.
it hurt bad enough the first time.
it kills me to see you at shows.
everything stops and goes in slow motion the second i see you.
and you're the only person i see.
and when i hear your voice on the other end of the phone.
i get tummyflies.
but again that hasn't happened in awhile becuz you don't call back.
i'm stupid.
you're voice mail message gives me tummyflies.

but you don't even realize it.
you don't realize what you do.
to me.
or anyone else probably for that matter.
at least i hope you're not doing this on purpose.

i feel sick to my stomach.
i know i should have never read what she wrote.
lurking just makes things worse.
and it kills me to know that she has spent the night with you.
for the past however many nights.
i hated the fact that you snored so loudly.
it kept me up for awhile after you would fall asleep.
and i tried everything to make you stop.
not even pushing you onto your side would work.
and saddly, i miss that now.

i don't know how you do this to me.
no one else can make me feel this way.
not even famous rock star drummers.
or the kid i've liked since my sophomore year.

edit:
just kidding...
sorry folks.
another lapse in judement.
i'm over it.