"I know I am kissing someone else, but every time I close my eyes I pretend it's you."

[neverlandfairy]

I am just sitting here at 9:46 am bored out of my mind on a Saturday morning. Yes, I know I should be still in bed considering it is a weekend and I have no school. Well, I couldn't sleep because I cried myself to sleep last night around lets says 10:30. I was so tired and I just passed out! Then of course I wake up early. I got up at like 8:30 this morning. I couldn't get back to sleep after I woke up because of the stupid sun. I am waiting for my parents and Lindsey to get home because we are going to the state fair. I found out some stuff about Josh from his friend Stephanie. She is so cool and I love that she is going to keep an eye out on Josh. She told me that she is the one that told Josh the girl at school liked him but that was all she did, because she didn't want me to get mad at her. She also said that Josh does indeed still love me and for me not to give up hope on him. She said that Josh is dating that girl at school but she is going to make sure he doesn't have sex with her and Tony and Stephanie are trying their best to make Josh see what he really needs in his life: ME! I love this girl as a sister now and Tony as a brother. I think I would really get a long with them if I ever go to Minnesota. As you probably already know I was supposed to go to Minnesota for Christmas, well, Stephanie begged me to still come because Josh still loves me and really does want to still see me. But, you know what I don't know what to do actually. I do still love Josh with my whole entire heart and I want us to be "together", but that's hard to do when he "likes" someone there. I know I like guys here too but I have NO chance with any of them, so there is no need in trying with them. Preston likes me and I have really put thought in dating him and I am thinking about it. I think I get to call Josh Tuesday, so we will have to see how that goes. You know I can just picture him kissing that other girl and that makes me cry every time I picture it. I did kiss my friend Brad the other day, but I didn't feel anything at all and when I closed my eyes I picture that it was me and Josh kissing for the first time. It felt so real too. I didn't want to stop kissing Brad, but then I did because I came back to reality and knew it wasn't really Josh I was kissing. Gosh, I miss talking to him so bad!!! I just wish my mom would let me call him once this weekend!! I cleaned up the kitchen and living room before I got on the net hoping that maybe she would use that as a thing I have done to get to call Josh, but I doubt that will work. This weekend my moms best friend from Austrila is coming to visit. I am so excited. I want to know everything about Austrila and I know she will tell me. Her and my mom were best friends for a really long time because they were neighbors then she moved to Austrila. She has hot sons too, haha. They are my age too. "Hint, hint, wink, wink" LOL! I couldn't do that to Josh even though he does it to me. Oh well then. Ok, this is getting really long and besides I know you guys probably don't read these anyways. I know at least Marissa read the last one though. So yah anyways...*BYES*

~* I STILL LOVE JOSH LANE! ~*