Yesterday, Darren officially told his bosses that he was leaving Orange Cycle. I do believe they said "oh."
During spring break, I got a Dear John email from the University of Minnesota. They said it's not me, it's them.
Darren and I spent most of last week going through my bedroom at my parents' house in St. Pete getting rid of things. Next weekend we will have a massive garage sale there. After that, my bedroom will become my mother's new office.
One night, I checked my email after an email hiatus. An email from the University of Minnesota instructed me to log in to my application account to see my "decision letter." This requires remembering a hideously complicated pin number. Not only do they break your heart but they make you work for it.
Darren made me wait for him to set up the camera before I could see my decision letter. The reaction you will see in Big Year is exactly as it occured.
Dear Krystan,
In cooperation with the graduate faculty in Architecture M Arch - 008830308, we have completed a review of your application for admission to graduate study at the University of Minnesota.
We have carefully considered all of your application materials, and unfortunately your admission has not been approved. Because the funding and advising resources of The Graduate School are not sufficient to accommodate the total demand for graduate education, not all of those who apply can be admitted. There were a great many excellent applications, and therefore the final decision was very difficult.
If you have any questions concerning this decision, please contact directly the major program to which you applied for admission.
I sincerely regret that we are unable to approve your admission, and hope that our decision will not discourage you from pursuing further academic education or professional development. Please accept our best wishes for success in your future endeavors.
Sincerely
It's not me, it's them.
I didn't cry, though I felt a bit like it. It's not like UMN was my top choice, but I enjoyed my arrogant assumption that they might want me. They were the boy at school that I was only slightly attracted to until he started dating another girl. Then I wanted him.
I didn't cry about UMN, but now I'm constantly on edge worrying about UW and UO. I have daymares about getting denials from them too. Today in my morning class, I found myself thinking that "Becoming a traffic engineer wouldn't be so bad. Or what about that urban planning program at FSU?"
My confidence is severely shaken.
I got a letter from UMN yesterday stating that if I want to know why they don't want me, I can contact Terence Rafferty. Do I want to know? Can I take a more carefully aimed blow?
-Krystan, sweaty palmed