(no subject)

Jan 13, 2010 11:25

is it possible i spoke/wrote too soon?

yesterday i woke at a delightfully lazy noon-thirty. this is after getting up at ten, crossing my room, turning on my blaring overhead lights, then going directly to my bed and lying horizontally across it naked with a pillow over my head to sleep for another two and a half dream-thick hours.

my phone rattled and it was carlo, just back from his regularly scheduled blood test at the hospital. i hauled myself out of bed, dressed, and tripped off to go meet him for breakfast at a chain restaurant [bonne matin, cora's] a few minutes walk from my place.

coffee came, breakfast was ordered. we were happy and picking on each other, our knees jostling for space under the table. then his phone went off. he said 'hi anita' and i knew it was his transplant nurse and i put my knuckles against my teeth. i watched his face change as they talked, asking 'what does that mean' and 'tomorrow?'

the results from the morning's blood test were already in. turns out his liver enzyme levels still look fine. unfortunately his platelet count is way down. she asked if he'd been bleeding. vomiting blood? shitting black? no and no.

from what the test shows, he's having a bleed somewhere. he's currently at the hospital having another fancy blood test. i told him to call me if they keep him, and i'll go up. it is frightening, but a fear we are both managing. it might mean his liver is fucked. a bleed shouldn't occur unless something higher up the chain [liver] is not functioning. bleeds are symptoms. major, dangerous, life threatening symptoms that have emptied him of all the blood in his body twice.

that said he is clearly not having a major bleed, or he would be admitted. this is what i said to him after we got off the telephone. there was a bit of forced gaiety as we went on with breakfast, walked out into the cold. he bought a set of expensive headphones. i bought a vest. we never shop, i'm not sure what happened there. i think we just wanted to go sink into people, into a crowd of milling shoppers. feel able.

then back to my house, where we visited with my neighbour and her puppy ben. then carlo's dinner date bailed so we at pot brownies [ahem] and flopped around my house till eleven o'clock, at which point he had to take the train home because he didn't have his evening pills with him.

today i have a bit of work to clear. a house that needs cleaning. cats that have to go in the bath because tam is coming to visit, and she's hellishly allergic to them. freida and my neighbour jessica are coming over to learn how to silkscreen once the sun goes down. there's a stained glass skylight covered in pigeon shit about three stories up in my bathroom that prevents me from drying the light sensitive screens without buggering them, so it's vampire screen printing at my house, every time. i'm going to send freida home with all of my screening equipment because i haven't printed in a year, and she's eager to get started so it makes perfect sense to give her lend of it until i need it again.
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