An old development
Well...it wasn't all peaches and roses (referring to the subject of my last journal entry). We lasted about a month, and over the course of that time I came to realize several things about myself.
1. I need someone who is my equal in both maturity and tact. Yes, I can be the goofy kidlike one with his foot in his mouth at times, but I also know when it is NOT appropriate to be like that.
2. No matter how easy it is to get intimate with a person, I have to be attracted to her physically AND mentally in order to achieve said intimacy. If I force it, I'm not satisfied with our contact, and I'm left feeling rather icky about myself.
3. As much as I claim to love public displays of affection, I'm still very selective about it, and I do NOT like forcing that when I'm not comfortable with the situations. I end up coming off as a rather callous, cold, uncaring person when I'm forcing it, and this is very unfair to the person I'm with. I
don't like that aspect of myself at all.
4. I shouldn't settle for what's in front of because it's there. I need to think things out next time I have an oppurtunity like this, and be absolutely sure that it's what I want.
5. Just holding hands with some that I know I deeply care about is 100 times more intense and makes me exponentially more satisfied than going very far physically with someone that I'm not sure I care about at all.
I'm in a good mood despite this, I just needed an outlet for that little rant. Life has been good. Seaside this year was wonderful, with my friends, my cousin, and several guest stars that stopped by to bask in the goodness with me. The guest stars will both read this, and I expect a reply from both of them heehee...
My new band is not metal, not goth, not anything trendy, just 4 guys who love music, who consider music a life sustaining force, and the way to save the world. I love you guys, you have completed a part of my life that needed it severely.
I will be sad in a few weeks, as the summer comes to a close. Much more sad than I was this at the same time last year. I know it's for the best, and I'll get over it, but it'll still leave me emptier. That's another thing I realized this summer.
I'll leave you with some lyrics that have been floating in my head, I love this song, it's from the movie Closer...enjoy.
The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you...
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
1. I need someone who is my equal in both maturity and tact. Yes, I can be the goofy kidlike one with his foot in his mouth at times, but I also know when it is NOT appropriate to be like that.
2. No matter how easy it is to get intimate with a person, I have to be attracted to her physically AND mentally in order to achieve said intimacy. If I force it, I'm not satisfied with our contact, and I'm left feeling rather icky about myself.
3. As much as I claim to love public displays of affection, I'm still very selective about it, and I do NOT like forcing that when I'm not comfortable with the situations. I end up coming off as a rather callous, cold, uncaring person when I'm forcing it, and this is very unfair to the person I'm with. I
don't like that aspect of myself at all.
4. I shouldn't settle for what's in front of because it's there. I need to think things out next time I have an oppurtunity like this, and be absolutely sure that it's what I want.
5. Just holding hands with some that I know I deeply care about is 100 times more intense and makes me exponentially more satisfied than going very far physically with someone that I'm not sure I care about at all.
I'm in a good mood despite this, I just needed an outlet for that little rant. Life has been good. Seaside this year was wonderful, with my friends, my cousin, and several guest stars that stopped by to bask in the goodness with me. The guest stars will both read this, and I expect a reply from both of them heehee...
My new band is not metal, not goth, not anything trendy, just 4 guys who love music, who consider music a life sustaining force, and the way to save the world. I love you guys, you have completed a part of my life that needed it severely.
I will be sad in a few weeks, as the summer comes to a close. Much more sad than I was this at the same time last year. I know it's for the best, and I'll get over it, but it'll still leave me emptier. That's another thing I realized this summer.
I'll leave you with some lyrics that have been floating in my head, I love this song, it's from the movie Closer...enjoy.
The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you...
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new