[fanfic: Voltron] Like diamonds in the sky (2/3) -- Shance
Title: Like diamonds in the sky
Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender
Characters: Shiro, Lance, the rest of the paladins and the Alteans.
Pairing: Shance (Shiro/Lance)
Language: English (oh God)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance. Fluff with dashes of drama.
Beta reader: The incredible Berserkered. Seriously. He's the best of the best.
N/A: For the Shance Week (2016). Day 3: Confidence/Insecurity.
Summary:
Shiro liked to imagine Lance doing normal stuff in pretty normal scenarios.
Bear with him this one, okay?
Yes, sometimes those scenarios were a little more R rated than other but usually Shiro's imagination would create a whole story, with lots of context, of so much normalcy that Shiro's heart ached in confused longing.
You see, to Shiro, Lance was the most normal of them all. And, believe him, he said that with his most regards.
--
OR: Shiro tries hard to resist, but Lance is way too much.
Shiro wasn't expecting anything to change now that Lance knew that he liked him, not really.
And maybe nothing much had changed.
Except something which was pretty obvious.
Lance wasn't late for practice or for the early-hour battle anymore. And that was because he now went to Shiro's room early in the morning, always carrying with him a juice of something or another.
“Oooh, man.” Lance complained for the fifth day in a row as he quietly walked into Shiro's room without permission. “Just how much of an early riser are you? Tsk! I'll never surprise you in bed at this rate...”
“What?”
“I-I mean... As a wake up call! You know? I'll bring you juice to wake you up, to help in your transition from asleep to awake. Hehe, oh well. Anyhow! I brought you this one today! Hunk said that the strawberries are going to be ready soon but not just yet so, in the meantime, drink this fabulous juice of weird space-fruit. It tastes vaguely like tangerine.”
After giving Shiro the beverage, Lance made his way into Shiro's bed, closing his eyes two seconds after covering himself with the sheets. It was as if Lance was too tired after pouring juice in a glass and having to walk all the way to Shiro's quarters.
Shiro sipped some juice. Yes. It did taste a little bit like tangerine.
But it was already the fifth day that Lance was doing this and it really needed to end.
Shiro sat on the bed, committing Lance's sleepy features to memory. Then, with much more tenderness that he had planned to, he started caressing Lance's hair. He wasn't ready to feel the softness with his human hand just yet so he used the robotic one.
Lance sighed, utterly content.
“Why are you doing this, Lance?”
“Mmh. I'm sleepy. You know I'll get up in a few minutes.”
“No. I mean... This. The whole waking up really early just to bring me some juice that I never asked for.”
Lance shrugged, looking relaxed in his bed.
“Breakfast it's still the most important meal of the day, even in space, Shiro.”
“Lance,” Shiro said with a serious voice, even when his hand was still fondling Lance's hair. “You know what I'm talking about.”
More than a few seconds passed in silence. Shiro was about to retrieve his hand and ask Lance to just stop doing anything that was different from before when Lance finally answered.
“Because I want to make you happy.” He opened his eyes and looked straight at Shiro's, looking just as serious even when he was clearly still half-asleep. “I want to take care of you and make you happy.”
Shiro didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure he could make his voice work. So he just kept combing Lance's hair even after Lance closed his eyes once again.
Shiro could tell that Lance was about to fall completely asleep when he asked, voice low, “Does it make you happy? ... To make me happy, I mean.”
Lance smiled just a bit later, the sound of his voice dragging. He was undoubtedly making an effort to respond.
“Very. Yes. Just... Try to sleep more. I want... To wake you up... And, the morning, good, you know? Please?”
Shiro smiled.
“Sweet dreams, Lance.”
“Uh-hum.”
Lance was late to practice that morning, looking well rested even though he had to skip breakfast. Allura took upon herself to nag him about it. Shiro couldn't bring himself to look at Lance in the eyes while he passed over some of the weird tangerine-flavored juice so the blue paladin didn't have to suffer that much for his empty stomach.
Lance still managed to wink at him a few minutes later. He looked happy.
--
Lance didn't stop.
Every morning Shiro made sure to be in his room, no matter how much he knew he could take advantage of the time to do one of the many things he needed to, just so Lance could find him, give him a weird juice and then sleep some more on Shiro's bed.
There was even one morning when Lance just looked at him, rolled his eyes, gave him the juice and then, without saying a word, went to his bed. He was deep asleep no more than a moment later.
Shiro had to be careful then, or he would be smiling for no reason the rest of the day.
Shiro's shoulders were less tense now. That might or might not have to do with Lance's talented fingers and his massages.
Sometimes, after a battle, Lance would find a time when the two of them were alone to ask if Shiro wanted a massage, “because, dude, after all that fighting? Black jumped around so much I got knots in my neck just watching.”
The first few times he declined the offer but he was running out of excuses and Lance looked pretty determined to keep asking so...
So now Shiro got a massage after every encounter with the Galra. Most days, that was the best reward.
Lance would sing softly after he ran out of things to say. Sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English. Shiro liked the whole routine very much.
It was dangerous - how easy it was to get used to Lance's touch and voice and caring. But Shiro rolled with it because he didn't have the self-control to say no.
Maybe I really am a masochistic, he thought one day.
Maybe you finally allowed yourself to be happy!, Black cheered.
In the end it didn't matter because the result was the same; Lance was taking care of him in all the little moment of intimacy that he could squeeze in their agitated days.
Shiro couldn't explain how it had got to that. Why Lance was attending him when Shiro was fairly sure that it was supposed to be the other way around. Shiro tried to reciprocate when he could: making sure that Lance ate and sleep well, pointing out how he could improve his hand-to-hand combat and even watching all the movies that Lance wanted.
It didn't feel like he did enough; but he wasn't sure if he could do more.
That was until one day, after a particularly hard battle on which Shiro and Keith had had to play bait while Pidge, Hunk and Lance destroyed seven huge-ass laser cannons that were just as nasty as they were irksome. When they finally formed Voltron, Black and Red were in such a poor state that they ended up rushing the job just so they could finish as fast as they could.
Keith and Shiro felt beat after. At least Shiro knew that a shoulder-rub was in his agenda.
Lance didn't disappointed him. An hour after dinner, Lance found Shiro roaming the hallways of the castle. Although his gaze was more somber than usual, Shiro followed him to their normal spot, the one close to the Black Lion, with the holo-projector.
Wordlessly, Lance took his accustomed spot on the armrest of the sofa, his long legs open in invitation for Shiro to sit in between them, on the couch itself, back to chest, so Lance could move his hand at his whim through Shiro’s shoulders and upper back.
Shiro knew right away that something was off but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. Lance's posture was stiff and rigid, but that could have been thanks to today's battle.
He raised an eyebrow in silent question. Lance's face turned challenging just before patting the spot reserved for Shiro once more. Shiro sighed, resigned, and sat in his usual position, feeling Lance's hands on his nape just a second later, as gentle as always.
He still said nothing.
Shiro was counting the minutes, enjoying the massage but unable to fully relax. Something wasn't right.
Normally, Lance would be commenting everything about the fight. Every little detail. He did have a healthy bias for Shiro's and his own stunts, and usually critiqued Keith's in hissed whispers, but he always talked about it.
When he was nervous for a reason or another, Lance would ramble. About whatever. The Alteans' hair was a recurrent theme. And all the videogames that he wished he could play against Pidge and Keith, about how much he hoped Hunk remembered a latin recipe that he really wanted to try again.
Tonight, there was nothing. Just silence.
That was unnerving, to say the least. Lance's silence was a powerful one. And Shiro couldn't take it anymore.
Shiro moved his hand, the human one, to Lance's hand on his shoulder, stopping his action at once. Gently, he took it inside his own and tightened up a bit. Lance went rigid at his back.
Trying to move the less he could, he turned around on the couch, still between Lance's long legs but now looking at his face. He hoped his own features were calm and open because Lance looked really upset this close.
“What's wrong?” Shiro asked, smooth voice on point. “What's going on?”
Lance was distressed, that much Shiro could tell. And agitated.
“You were very bold today.” Lance said at last, in a very controlled voice.
And, ok, so Shiro had heard the same phrase in the past, but with a different tone. Normally, it a was in a loud, over-excited tone, almost alway starting with a 'Oh my God, Shiro!' and ending with 'we just know how to fly, don't we?'.
This was completely different.
“Lance?”
Lance flushed, his hands moving in sharp and angry movements through the air while speaking.
“Nothing! Geeez. It's nothing, really! Just-I just need to keep giving you-”
“No.” Shiro interrupted him while grabbing both of Lance's hand between his. “Not until you tell me what's bothering you.”
Lance frowned, his face still red but stubborn looking.
“Or what? You're gonna go all leader over my ass? I'm letting you know that right now, you can't command me to do anything!”
Shiro was surprised, but refused to let go of Lance's hands even though the blue paladin was trying his best to get them free. Shiro willed himself to take a very deep breath, controlling his temper, before answering in a careful voice.
Lance was trying to provoke him to get out of the interrogation, Shiro knew, but that didn't mean he was going to let him.
“I know that I can't command you to do anything while we're here. I know that, and I thought you understood that I'm not going to.” Shiro took another deep breath. “But Lance, I also thought that you knew that you can tell me anything, especially in these moments. I just want to help you, but you gotta talk to me, buddy, or this isn't going to work.”
At least, his words had the desired effect because Lance seemed startled into silence again.
It lasted two seconds, though.
“Well-Well! Yeah! I know that! It's just that when we were fighting I couldn't deal with the-with the... Incertidumbre! Oh my God, my English is failing! Do you have any idea since when this didn't happen to me? Since I was 5 and I thought everyone knew English and Spanish! And how the fuck do you say 'incertidumbre' in English?! El coño de su reputísima madre!”
To Shiro's ultimate amusement, Lance proceeded to say what Shiro guessed were all the swearwords he knew in Spanish.
It took approximately 40 full seconds of cursing but it did work, because Lance's shoulders were less tense and his eyes looked brighter in the end.
It was Lance's turn to take a calming deep breath, then, he smiled.
“Hey, I feel better.”
“I can see that.” Shiro told him, fighting a relieved smile.
Lance blushed again after a tick, this time embarrassed.
“I'm sorry, Shiro. I... went overboard right there, I guess. Apologies.”
Shiro finally smiled.
“That's fine. I actually didn't understood much. Nor I know what... inquertimbre means...?”
Lance laughed.
“Umh... 'Incertidumbre'. It means 'uncertainty' but it goes a little more farther than that, I think.”
“Big word.”
“Yeah.”
Shiro waited a few seconds. He was starting to get the idea of what had bothered Lance so much but he still had many doubts and he didn't want to step on Lance's nerves again.
He didn't know how to ask. Maybe Lance wasn't the only one with a communication problem. That could be an issue, now that he thought about it.
“I was worried.” Lance supplied at last. “It drove me mad, for a few seconds, when you took that big hit and you didn't answer right away. I got really worried. And-and before you say anything, I know it's our job and you know I have faith in you but... I got worried. I was so worried about you.”
Shiro's heart stopped in his chest, or he stopped breathing, or the time stopped moving. Because something significant had just happened and Shiro felt that in a way that his own, personal universe moved from its axis, that a new reality had formed before his eyes just because of a phrase.
Before he could realize what he was doing, he hugged Lance on his waist and pulled him to his lap. Lance legs accommodated themselves around Shiro's whole body and Lance's arms were at home over his shoulders. Lance put his face in Shiro's neck and Shiro felt his felt Lance’s breathe roll over his skin.
Shiro hugged him tighter and finally said the words that he had heard in his head countless times, from an imaginary dialogue in his favorite fantasy.
“I'm here.”
Lance's hug got stronger as well. Shiro felt Lance's warmth all over him, he could easily pick his crazy heart beats, pretty much like his own, could feel that Lance was slightly trembling against his body, moving but not trying to escape but to get even closer. It was impossible but Shiro loved that he tried, nonetheless.
Shiro felt safe in an extraordinary new way. His mind felt at once in overdrive and very calm. His human hand was shaking while still holding Lance.
“I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do this. I really wanted to touch you when you came out of your lion, that was all I wanted to do.” Lance whispered. “It was shit to wait until after dinner. It's stupid, I know you are fine, but I still wanted to-”
Shiro kissed him.
Not the romantic, innocent kiss that he pictured when he allowed himself to think about the next step in his and Lance's relationship, but a passionate kiss. An uncontrollable one. Their teeth clashed for a second and then their lips were moving, moving, moving, all in desperation. It wasn't about gentleness or pleasure, it was about being close and reassured that they were together and fine.
They were still alive, against all odds.
And, even more surprising, Shiro was finally, finally kissing Lance. Lance was kissing him back with the same amount of emotion if not more.
Shiro's head was spinning and his eyes were closed and he kept holding Lance while he attempted to breath through it all.
They broke the kiss, panting a bit.
Lance was beautiful in the soft light, with his lips still slightly parted and his eyes dazzled. He looked ravished and dizzy; he also looked hungry.
Shiro wondered if he looked the same. If Lance could see him and guess that they were only just starting.
Shiro nodded, more to himself than anything. Yes. He was done denying all the obvious feelings that both had for each other. Yes, it was going to be a process; yes, they probably were going to fight even more, and more likely than not Lance was going to drive him crazy but he could tell that the reward was going to be so, so worth it.
Lance focused his gaze on him for a few charged seconds. Then he took Shiro's face in his hands and kissed him again. Slowly this time, enjoying the exciting new feeling.
Would you let me? Can we be happy?
Yes. Lets.
--
One morning almost two week later, Shiro found himself pausing while he was brushing his teeth, a mischievous idea being born in his brain. Ok, maybe it wasn't that wicked, nonetheless, he had to actively fight against a smile so he could finish his oral hygiene.
And if everything went according to his plan, he was going to need his breath to be fresh.
Without bothering to dress himself with more than his boxers and the t-shirt he normally used to sleep in, Shiro went back to bed, moved around his pillow until he was comfortable (he wasn't used to be in bed more than he strictly needed to, so that took a while) and then waited, looking at the door and trying not to count the seconds.
He felt an emotion very similar to excitement and enjoyment settling in his stomach. That made him pause again because it had been a long while since he had felt such a thing without being somehow related to the intergalactic war that they were living.
But that was The Lance Effect™, Shiro guessed. Making him feel like he was completely human again for a little while.
In fact, it might as well be an totally real effect because Shiro's temper and normal gloominess had been better these last few days. Shiro had been feeling great, excellent even, all things considered. Lance was an attentive partner. Expressing just the right amount of warmth and freedom; openly taking care of Shiro just when the time was right, disarming him little by little with smalltalk and blinding smiles.
To Shiro's surprise, Lance, who wasn't the most inconspicuous of all the paladins, was being very, very private about their new relationship; taking his time exploring Shiro's moods and limits without hurry in the little moments they had. It was like Lance was absolutely sure he had all the time in the universe. Like he wanted to do this right.
And really, that thought brought Shiro the same amount of giddiness and nervousness. Who knew Lance would be so good at reading Shiro's silent and probably unknown cues about himself and the way he needed their relationship to be? Not even Shiro's imagination could have done that.
He had kinda thought he was going to be the one leading and redirecting Lance; helping Lance to feel well and safe. He never once thought he could be led, that he would be one expending the best part of a night embraced by Lance's arms and legs while his fingers brushed against the line of his hair until Shiro was sure he could sleep for the rest of the night hours in peace.
Shiro didn't know why, especially with the amount of hours wholly dedicated to imagine Lance in different scenarios, he never fully expected Lance to be this potentially qualified to be...
His equal.
And that was the root of the giddy thoughts Shiro had had recently.
Soon enough, though, Shiro heard the telltale signs that Lance was about to open his door. Shiro wasn't disappointed. There Lance stood, holding whatever strange juice he made Shiro this morning in one hand, the other hand scratching his left eye, looking more asleep than awake, as usual.
Shiro grinned and waited.
Yes, there was Lance's gaze roaming all over his room, searching for Shiro aaaaand, oh, yes. There they were. Those blue eyes opened wide, clearly surprised with locating Shiro in bed after a solid month of Lance accustoming himself to find Shiro up and about even when Lance made the immense effort of waking up really, really early.
Shiro suppressed a giggle.
“Good morning, Lance.” Shiro said instead.
It took Lance a few seconds of moving his lips to empty air before he found his voice.
“You-You... are... still in bed...”
Shiro made a show of looking around himself as if checking he was indeed on his bed, playing innocent and a little coy for Lance.
“Oh, yes. I am. I thought, well, after yesterday battle I could afford a little more time resting.”
“... Right.”
A moment in silence. Shiro smiled, enjoying the pink color that was making itself more and more present in Lance's cheeks.
“Well?”
“Uhm?”
“Are you coming in?”
Lance took two step into his room, still looking at Shiro with unblinking eyes.
Shiro chuckled.
“All right, then. What does my juice taste as today?”
“Guanábana.”
Shiro cocked his neck to a side, confused and totally amused by Lance's inability to stick to one language when he was focused in something else.
“Wuan-What? I'm sorry?”
“I-I don't know, man. Guanábana. It tastes good. It's sweet and good. Uhum. In bed.”
“It tastes good in bed?” Shiro parroted, smirking.
“What?!” Lance recoiled as if Shiro had shot him a bomb at his feet. His face was even redder than before and his hands moved discordantly to whatever he was saying about beds, and hot guys, and juice and spilling and Shiro couldn't conceal his amusement anymore and laughed at loud, cutting Lance's speech.
“Lance, just... Come to bed.” Shiro invited him in, patting the mattress with his prosthetic hand for good measure.
Lance paused for a bit before a breathtaking smile took over his features. Finally, he let go of the glass full with a white-colored liquid on Shiro's desk and cannon-balled himself into the bed. Laughing softly, Lance rearranged Shiro into the position of his preference and then proceeded to rest almost all of his weight on Shiro's front, interlocking their long legs as they went.
Lance took a moment to cover them with the sheet before resting his head over Shiro's collarbone, laying them down chest to chest. Shiro smiled, pleased with this behavior. He cuddled Lance between his arms, human hand caressing his back over his PJs.
Lance gave a delighted sigh and Shiro could have bet he had closed his eyes.
“You waited for me in bed.” Lance said in a quiet and dreamily voice. Shiro felt Lance's soft breaths on his neck.
“Yes. Thought I could try it, for once.”
Lance laughed.
“Thank you.”
Shiro didn't predict that answer, especially not from Lance, so he didn't know what to do with the way his tongue got confused inside his mouth. He wanted to say I think I do so little. And, You are always the one initiating our time together. And You're the one taking care of me, this is the least I could do. But he couldn't really put his throat to work, so Shiro settled to hug Lance in a tighter embrace.
Lance's hand started moving a bit after awhile of just holding each other. His hand traveled lightly all over Shiro's right shoulder and arm, taking his time to press his fingers in the prosthetic as if it was more delicate than flesh and bones. Then, Lance moved until he was resting at Shiro's right side and his other hand did the same path on Shiro's left shoulder and human arm and hand.
Shiro knew Lance was fascinated by the feeling if only because he was pretty caught up into it himself-because Lance was quiet, his touch reverent. Shiro felt his skin tingling even when the rest of him got more relaxed than ever.
Finally satisfied with his explorations, Lance interweaved their human hands together and sighed again.
“This is nice.” Lance sentenced.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Oh quiznak. Isn't this the craziest thing ever?”
Shiro continued caressing Lance's back.
“What do you mean?”
Lance didn't lift his head, talking against Shiro's chest like it was the most normal thing in the universe.
“Us.” A tick later, Shiro physically felt the way Lance's body went a little rigid above his own. “Eeehh. Well, I mean... Because we're... We are together, right? You know, together-together?”
Shiro took a deep breath and made a point of tightening his embrace on Lance for a second.
“Yes, Lance. Of course we are together-together.”
Once again, Lance's body relaxed completely and Shiro felt Lance's lips stretch into a smile against his chest.
“Oh. Good. Because I've always thought we were. So, isn't this crazy? I mean, I would have never imagined! Even when I've always felt attracted to you... I never thought you'd like me!”
Shiro paused for a second.
“Why not?”
“'cause you're perfect and deserve the best.”
Shiro felt short of breath, suddenly.
“But Lance... I'm not perfect. And-And you're...”
“Yeah. I mean, I get it! You're a human being, you aren't, like, perfect-perfect but you are your best, you know? Like, you are the best version of yourself even with everything that is going on. Even with-eh, with your past. You're always so kind and strong, even when you don't even try. And that is so awesome, man. You're awesome.”
Shiro didn't know what to say to that. Lance sounded so sincere, so full of honesty while calling him all the things that Shiro normally felt he was not. Kind? Strong? ... Human?
Shiro's brain took more than a moment to collect itself. His heart, on the other hand, was beating wild inside his chest. Lance could probably feel it.
Shiro was overwhelmed but, nonetheless, he forced his body to move. Gently, he manhandled Lance until they were eye to eye, side by side on his small bed.
Lance was smiling, comfortable in their intimacy. Shiro took note to ask him in the future how he achieved that so easily.
Shiro finally talked on his third try.
“I used to imagined you in different scenarios than always ended with both of us together.”
Lance belly-laughed, blue eyes shining with joy.
“What? Really? What kind of scenarios?”
“Plenty of them. Most pretty ordinary. You-You are so human, so normal that I wanted that.”
Shiro felt like he was revealing one of his most private secrets; it felt like a pretty important moment. Lance, on the other hand, stopped smiling and frowned, putting some distance between his bodies, even.
Lance's progressively sadder face told Shiro that he had said something wrong, very wrong.
“Excuse me? Normal?”
Ah. Right. That... Yes. Shiro could see why Lance was so displeased and even hurt by being called 'normal'.
Shiro was an idiot. He needed it to explain himself.
“Normal is not the same as average. It's not.” Lance looked two seconds away to panic and Shiro needed it to fix this. “Hear me out. Please. Please. Hear me out, Lance.”
Lance nodded. Then, in a tone that sounded both vulnerable and nonchalant at once he said:
“Sure.”
Shiro tried to dominate his anxiety before talking. He wasn't about to lose Lance over semantics.
“A few years ago... I was normal. And then, after Kerberos, I wasn't.” Shiro lifted his prosthetic arm to made a point. “Galra tech. I-I can actually feel with this, you know? It's like my brain can pick when it's a weapon and when it's just my hand. I don't remember most of my year in captivity but what I can remember... I dislike it. I hate it. I hate them, and I hate myself. I hate to know... That I am The Champion. Right now, Lance... I'm anything but human. I'm not normal.”
Lance didn't seem as panicked as before but he was still frowning. Shiro kept talking.
“And then there was you. I mean, all of you help, I've told you this before, but you, you Lance,... You made me laugh and be silly, and made me stop trying to regain memories of my past so I could start making new ones, great ones. You make me feel... Focused, happy. And... Human. Because, Lance, you're normal in a way that I'll never be. You are completely human, and I swear to God sometimes I think you're made of pure joy just so you can give some it away. You are the normal one, the human one, that keeps us from going crazy.”
Lance was still quiet at the end and Shiro left his pulse quickening through fear.
“Do you-“ Shiro continued, trying with all his might to control the impulse that told him to get out of the room and just accept that he didn't deserve to be happy anymore and be done with it. “Pro-probably 'normal' isn't the best word. Yeah, I get it now. But... It's the one that I've always... I mean, that's what I really, really want and you're that, and...”
Apparently, Lance took pity on him because he moved his hand over Shiro's mouth, effectively silenced him.
“Actually...” Lance said at last, sounded very doubtful. “You make me sound... Special. Like-like I am...”
Gently, Shiro took away Lance's hand and talked once more.
“Like you are exactly what I need, exactly what I want.” Shiro smiled. “Yes, you're right. You are. Lance, I can't believe that we are together because to me... You're the best and I'm pretty sure I don't deserve you.”
Lance took a very delicate breath before talking. His voice sound vulnerable and naked.
“Shiro... You're the most impressive human that I know. And I will make you happy because you deserve to be. I-I swear. I'll make you happy; I'll make you feel safe.”
Shiro's heart was beating like a crazy animal once more. Half in relief, half in confused excitement.
He wanted to say that he'll make Lance happy as well, but Shiro wasn't so sure yet, plus, it felt like he had talked too much already. His quota of sharing more than overpaid.
Then again, he was in a relationship now. A relationship with Lance. Communication was the key, he knew.
“... This is everything I've ever wanted.” Lance whispered in a secret tone; like he was the one now sharing a bit of his soul, but confident while doing it, nonetheless. “I've always wanted to... To be... Special to someone. Like-Like... I've always wanted them to trust me and confide in me. Accept me as me and... You know, that they like me above everybody else and show it, even if it's only in private.” Lance's eyes were brightening again, even in the poor light of Shiro's cabin. “And you are giving me that. You're... You too. You make me happy, too.”
A warm feeling made a home in Shiro's chest after Lance's speech. Shiro smiled, pleased. There were probably one million more of thing to say, especially cheesy, stickily-sweet ones, but Shiro was having trouble breathing correctly through all the giddiness and happiness inside him, they felt hot and pleasurable inside his bones, so he just hugged Lance again against his own chest and enjoyed the comfortable closeness.
Yes. That felt right.
Lance laughed once more.
“Someday you're going to tell me all about the things you imagined, you clear? Even the sexy bits that I know that exist because, seriously, look at me. I'm impossible to resist.”
It was Shiro's turn to laugh.
“Maybe.”
Lance returned Shiro's embrace and Shiro felt the way Lance's breathing grew deeper and relaxed.
Shiro didn't know when he had closed his eyes, but they were closed now, anyway. Lance's body was, no surprise here, a very comfortable weight of heat above him and Shiro got really sleepy a moment later, emotionally exhausted but calm after their talk.
Maybe, just maybe... He could sleep a little bit more?
Gosh. He sounded so unsure and uncertain even in his own mind, even after all the confessions and the promises. It felt like sleeping outside his routinely night-cycle was the same as to break a very strict rule that was going to change him forever. Man, he was such a rebel!
On the other hand, it really felt like the most twisted kind of freedom he had experienced in a while. He had to ask Lance about this weird feeling of being free when in reality he was being pressing down onto his bed.
Maybe Lance was right and Shiro was special and exactly what he need it as well. Not just on his way-too-many imaginary worlds but right there and there. In space. In reality.
Maybe there was hope. Maybe Shiro could be human and happy again.
Lance softly snored and Shiro didn't fight anymore. He was asleep on the next second.
Shiro wasn't too sure how long they were asleep together but it really didn't matter when he was awaken by Lance's sweet kisses being delivered all over his face and neck. Shiro smiled, feeling better rested and lighter than he could recall.
“Yes. This is exactly how I have always wanted to find you.” Lance informed him in a secret voice, with a pleasant husky edge at the end.
Oh well. Lance had always been the plan guy because his strategies tended to be the best ones. Shiro knew that first hand.
“Really? You wanted to kiss me awake?” Shiro's voice was also affected by their time napping, it sounded raspy and deep.
And sexy as well, if Lance's full body shiver was any indication.
Shiro smirked, opening his eyes. And, oh Universe, what a sight Lance was. This closed up, Shiro could really appreciate the way his hair was all over the place and the unfairly compliant and attractive curve of his mouth, almost panting against his own lips. His impossible blue eyes were glowing, even in the dark.
Shiro might had growled a bit, but Lance was closing the distance between their lips a tick later and a pleasurable shudder went up and down Shiro's back and, really, thinking was overrated this early in the space-morning anyway.
Their lips moved together slowly but filled with intent and passion. Lance rearranged himself over Shiro, giving himself more room with his arms and then he started sucking and lightly biting Shiro's bottom lip until Shiro's breathing accelerated. Then Lance's tongue joined the party and, let Shiro assure you, Lance knew what he was doing in the kissing department.
Never one to be completely passive, Shiro took hold of Lance's hair and lower back and then took upon himself to dominate Lance's tongue with his own. He knew a trick or two as well, so Shiro didn't lose time opening Lance's mouth and claiming him.
Lance moaned and then trembled over him. Shiro's own shiver was such a hot reaction.
Being seriously turned on by a make out session hadn't been exactly Shiro's plan when he decided that he was going to surprise Lance in bed, (nor was confessing embarrassing things, for that matter) so he didn't know if he was supposed to stop this before it got out of hand.
But then Lance shifted once more and suddenly both of Lance's legs were very much embracing Shiro's own leg between them and Shiro could feel on his hip that Lance was really, really turned on by all this, and... Surely they could stay in bed half an hour more, right?
Making his decision, Shiro hand traveled all the way to Lance's ass and groped him a bit. Lance reaction was instantaneous, as if all of his nerves were on fire already. He jerked and moaned once more and pressed his erection into Shiro's hip.
And fuck, talk about a hot feeling. Shiro growled again into the kiss, using the hand that was still into Lance's hair to stop all of his movement so Shiro could thrust his tongue in an out of it, possessive and demanding all at once.
And Lance... Oh God, Lance started humping his hip at the same speed than Shiro's tongue and letting out all kind of choked and very sexy sounds. Shiro felt deliciously lightheaded; overwhelmed with all the feelings that his body could create in response to Lance own pleasure.
Finally breaking the kiss, Shiro grunted while changing their positions, pinning Lance down to bed, going as far as taking Lance's wrist into his hand and then over his head. The pillow was on the floor by now just like the sheet but none of that mattered because Lance's pupils were blown wide and his lips were red and obviously used and Shiro's self control was checking itself out from the building.
That's was exactly the moment when the alarm went off.
“Paladins!” Coran's voice could be heard through all the castle. “An incoming planet it's requesting our immediate help! I'll repeat: An incoming planet is...”
“No no no no no, no!” Lance cried, clearly frustrated. “Not now! Oh, fuck! Can they excuse us for, like, five minutes?”
Even when Shiro could relate with the sentiment, he couldn't help but tease him.
“Only five minutes?”
Lance blushed even more but his eyes never strayed away from Shiro's. One moment later, he was smirking up at Shiro.
“I'm that good, baby!” Lance winked and then slowly licked his lips with lewd pleasure, even releasing a dramatic and overly sexual gasp at the end of it so Shiro didn't have any doubt of what was he talking about. “You are in for a ride. Ehrm. Later. After being heroes and all that.”
Shiro needed a minute. In fact, he could use a long shower. His brain supplying ways of putting on his uniform so his half hard dick wasn't that obvious.
Lance got it worst than him, though. Shiro smiled and Lance blushed once more.
“Let's go to be heroes then.”
Lance groaned, resigned.
“Right, right. Whatever. Drink your juice before going to deck. I'm cool and my dick really isn't but whatever, we're cool. But yeah, drink the fucking juice.”
Shiro laughed, getting out of bed, amused by Lance's frustration.
--
Here's the rest of the 2st Chapter.
or AO3
Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender
Characters: Shiro, Lance, the rest of the paladins and the Alteans.
Pairing: Shance (Shiro/Lance)
Language: English (oh God)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance. Fluff with dashes of drama.
Beta reader: The incredible Berserkered. Seriously. He's the best of the best.
N/A: For the Shance Week (2016). Day 3: Confidence/Insecurity.
Summary:
Shiro liked to imagine Lance doing normal stuff in pretty normal scenarios.
Bear with him this one, okay?
Yes, sometimes those scenarios were a little more R rated than other but usually Shiro's imagination would create a whole story, with lots of context, of so much normalcy that Shiro's heart ached in confused longing.
You see, to Shiro, Lance was the most normal of them all. And, believe him, he said that with his most regards.
--
OR: Shiro tries hard to resist, but Lance is way too much.
Shiro wasn't expecting anything to change now that Lance knew that he liked him, not really.
And maybe nothing much had changed.
Except something which was pretty obvious.
Lance wasn't late for practice or for the early-hour battle anymore. And that was because he now went to Shiro's room early in the morning, always carrying with him a juice of something or another.
“Oooh, man.” Lance complained for the fifth day in a row as he quietly walked into Shiro's room without permission. “Just how much of an early riser are you? Tsk! I'll never surprise you in bed at this rate...”
“What?”
“I-I mean... As a wake up call! You know? I'll bring you juice to wake you up, to help in your transition from asleep to awake. Hehe, oh well. Anyhow! I brought you this one today! Hunk said that the strawberries are going to be ready soon but not just yet so, in the meantime, drink this fabulous juice of weird space-fruit. It tastes vaguely like tangerine.”
After giving Shiro the beverage, Lance made his way into Shiro's bed, closing his eyes two seconds after covering himself with the sheets. It was as if Lance was too tired after pouring juice in a glass and having to walk all the way to Shiro's quarters.
Shiro sipped some juice. Yes. It did taste a little bit like tangerine.
But it was already the fifth day that Lance was doing this and it really needed to end.
Shiro sat on the bed, committing Lance's sleepy features to memory. Then, with much more tenderness that he had planned to, he started caressing Lance's hair. He wasn't ready to feel the softness with his human hand just yet so he used the robotic one.
Lance sighed, utterly content.
“Why are you doing this, Lance?”
“Mmh. I'm sleepy. You know I'll get up in a few minutes.”
“No. I mean... This. The whole waking up really early just to bring me some juice that I never asked for.”
Lance shrugged, looking relaxed in his bed.
“Breakfast it's still the most important meal of the day, even in space, Shiro.”
“Lance,” Shiro said with a serious voice, even when his hand was still fondling Lance's hair. “You know what I'm talking about.”
More than a few seconds passed in silence. Shiro was about to retrieve his hand and ask Lance to just stop doing anything that was different from before when Lance finally answered.
“Because I want to make you happy.” He opened his eyes and looked straight at Shiro's, looking just as serious even when he was clearly still half-asleep. “I want to take care of you and make you happy.”
Shiro didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure he could make his voice work. So he just kept combing Lance's hair even after Lance closed his eyes once again.
Shiro could tell that Lance was about to fall completely asleep when he asked, voice low, “Does it make you happy? ... To make me happy, I mean.”
Lance smiled just a bit later, the sound of his voice dragging. He was undoubtedly making an effort to respond.
“Very. Yes. Just... Try to sleep more. I want... To wake you up... And, the morning, good, you know? Please?”
Shiro smiled.
“Sweet dreams, Lance.”
“Uh-hum.”
Lance was late to practice that morning, looking well rested even though he had to skip breakfast. Allura took upon herself to nag him about it. Shiro couldn't bring himself to look at Lance in the eyes while he passed over some of the weird tangerine-flavored juice so the blue paladin didn't have to suffer that much for his empty stomach.
Lance still managed to wink at him a few minutes later. He looked happy.
--
Lance didn't stop.
Every morning Shiro made sure to be in his room, no matter how much he knew he could take advantage of the time to do one of the many things he needed to, just so Lance could find him, give him a weird juice and then sleep some more on Shiro's bed.
There was even one morning when Lance just looked at him, rolled his eyes, gave him the juice and then, without saying a word, went to his bed. He was deep asleep no more than a moment later.
Shiro had to be careful then, or he would be smiling for no reason the rest of the day.
Shiro's shoulders were less tense now. That might or might not have to do with Lance's talented fingers and his massages.
Sometimes, after a battle, Lance would find a time when the two of them were alone to ask if Shiro wanted a massage, “because, dude, after all that fighting? Black jumped around so much I got knots in my neck just watching.”
The first few times he declined the offer but he was running out of excuses and Lance looked pretty determined to keep asking so...
So now Shiro got a massage after every encounter with the Galra. Most days, that was the best reward.
Lance would sing softly after he ran out of things to say. Sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English. Shiro liked the whole routine very much.
It was dangerous - how easy it was to get used to Lance's touch and voice and caring. But Shiro rolled with it because he didn't have the self-control to say no.
Maybe I really am a masochistic, he thought one day.
Maybe you finally allowed yourself to be happy!, Black cheered.
In the end it didn't matter because the result was the same; Lance was taking care of him in all the little moment of intimacy that he could squeeze in their agitated days.
Shiro couldn't explain how it had got to that. Why Lance was attending him when Shiro was fairly sure that it was supposed to be the other way around. Shiro tried to reciprocate when he could: making sure that Lance ate and sleep well, pointing out how he could improve his hand-to-hand combat and even watching all the movies that Lance wanted.
It didn't feel like he did enough; but he wasn't sure if he could do more.
That was until one day, after a particularly hard battle on which Shiro and Keith had had to play bait while Pidge, Hunk and Lance destroyed seven huge-ass laser cannons that were just as nasty as they were irksome. When they finally formed Voltron, Black and Red were in such a poor state that they ended up rushing the job just so they could finish as fast as they could.
Keith and Shiro felt beat after. At least Shiro knew that a shoulder-rub was in his agenda.
Lance didn't disappointed him. An hour after dinner, Lance found Shiro roaming the hallways of the castle. Although his gaze was more somber than usual, Shiro followed him to their normal spot, the one close to the Black Lion, with the holo-projector.
Wordlessly, Lance took his accustomed spot on the armrest of the sofa, his long legs open in invitation for Shiro to sit in between them, on the couch itself, back to chest, so Lance could move his hand at his whim through Shiro’s shoulders and upper back.
Shiro knew right away that something was off but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. Lance's posture was stiff and rigid, but that could have been thanks to today's battle.
He raised an eyebrow in silent question. Lance's face turned challenging just before patting the spot reserved for Shiro once more. Shiro sighed, resigned, and sat in his usual position, feeling Lance's hands on his nape just a second later, as gentle as always.
He still said nothing.
Shiro was counting the minutes, enjoying the massage but unable to fully relax. Something wasn't right.
Normally, Lance would be commenting everything about the fight. Every little detail. He did have a healthy bias for Shiro's and his own stunts, and usually critiqued Keith's in hissed whispers, but he always talked about it.
When he was nervous for a reason or another, Lance would ramble. About whatever. The Alteans' hair was a recurrent theme. And all the videogames that he wished he could play against Pidge and Keith, about how much he hoped Hunk remembered a latin recipe that he really wanted to try again.
Tonight, there was nothing. Just silence.
That was unnerving, to say the least. Lance's silence was a powerful one. And Shiro couldn't take it anymore.
Shiro moved his hand, the human one, to Lance's hand on his shoulder, stopping his action at once. Gently, he took it inside his own and tightened up a bit. Lance went rigid at his back.
Trying to move the less he could, he turned around on the couch, still between Lance's long legs but now looking at his face. He hoped his own features were calm and open because Lance looked really upset this close.
“What's wrong?” Shiro asked, smooth voice on point. “What's going on?”
Lance was distressed, that much Shiro could tell. And agitated.
“You were very bold today.” Lance said at last, in a very controlled voice.
And, ok, so Shiro had heard the same phrase in the past, but with a different tone. Normally, it a was in a loud, over-excited tone, almost alway starting with a 'Oh my God, Shiro!' and ending with 'we just know how to fly, don't we?'.
This was completely different.
“Lance?”
Lance flushed, his hands moving in sharp and angry movements through the air while speaking.
“Nothing! Geeez. It's nothing, really! Just-I just need to keep giving you-”
“No.” Shiro interrupted him while grabbing both of Lance's hand between his. “Not until you tell me what's bothering you.”
Lance frowned, his face still red but stubborn looking.
“Or what? You're gonna go all leader over my ass? I'm letting you know that right now, you can't command me to do anything!”
Shiro was surprised, but refused to let go of Lance's hands even though the blue paladin was trying his best to get them free. Shiro willed himself to take a very deep breath, controlling his temper, before answering in a careful voice.
Lance was trying to provoke him to get out of the interrogation, Shiro knew, but that didn't mean he was going to let him.
“I know that I can't command you to do anything while we're here. I know that, and I thought you understood that I'm not going to.” Shiro took another deep breath. “But Lance, I also thought that you knew that you can tell me anything, especially in these moments. I just want to help you, but you gotta talk to me, buddy, or this isn't going to work.”
At least, his words had the desired effect because Lance seemed startled into silence again.
It lasted two seconds, though.
“Well-Well! Yeah! I know that! It's just that when we were fighting I couldn't deal with the-with the... Incertidumbre! Oh my God, my English is failing! Do you have any idea since when this didn't happen to me? Since I was 5 and I thought everyone knew English and Spanish! And how the fuck do you say 'incertidumbre' in English?! El coño de su reputísima madre!”
To Shiro's ultimate amusement, Lance proceeded to say what Shiro guessed were all the swearwords he knew in Spanish.
It took approximately 40 full seconds of cursing but it did work, because Lance's shoulders were less tense and his eyes looked brighter in the end.
It was Lance's turn to take a calming deep breath, then, he smiled.
“Hey, I feel better.”
“I can see that.” Shiro told him, fighting a relieved smile.
Lance blushed again after a tick, this time embarrassed.
“I'm sorry, Shiro. I... went overboard right there, I guess. Apologies.”
Shiro finally smiled.
“That's fine. I actually didn't understood much. Nor I know what... inquertimbre means...?”
Lance laughed.
“Umh... 'Incertidumbre'. It means 'uncertainty' but it goes a little more farther than that, I think.”
“Big word.”
“Yeah.”
Shiro waited a few seconds. He was starting to get the idea of what had bothered Lance so much but he still had many doubts and he didn't want to step on Lance's nerves again.
He didn't know how to ask. Maybe Lance wasn't the only one with a communication problem. That could be an issue, now that he thought about it.
“I was worried.” Lance supplied at last. “It drove me mad, for a few seconds, when you took that big hit and you didn't answer right away. I got really worried. And-and before you say anything, I know it's our job and you know I have faith in you but... I got worried. I was so worried about you.”
Shiro's heart stopped in his chest, or he stopped breathing, or the time stopped moving. Because something significant had just happened and Shiro felt that in a way that his own, personal universe moved from its axis, that a new reality had formed before his eyes just because of a phrase.
Before he could realize what he was doing, he hugged Lance on his waist and pulled him to his lap. Lance legs accommodated themselves around Shiro's whole body and Lance's arms were at home over his shoulders. Lance put his face in Shiro's neck and Shiro felt his felt Lance’s breathe roll over his skin.
Shiro hugged him tighter and finally said the words that he had heard in his head countless times, from an imaginary dialogue in his favorite fantasy.
“I'm here.”
Lance's hug got stronger as well. Shiro felt Lance's warmth all over him, he could easily pick his crazy heart beats, pretty much like his own, could feel that Lance was slightly trembling against his body, moving but not trying to escape but to get even closer. It was impossible but Shiro loved that he tried, nonetheless.
Shiro felt safe in an extraordinary new way. His mind felt at once in overdrive and very calm. His human hand was shaking while still holding Lance.
“I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do this. I really wanted to touch you when you came out of your lion, that was all I wanted to do.” Lance whispered. “It was shit to wait until after dinner. It's stupid, I know you are fine, but I still wanted to-”
Shiro kissed him.
Not the romantic, innocent kiss that he pictured when he allowed himself to think about the next step in his and Lance's relationship, but a passionate kiss. An uncontrollable one. Their teeth clashed for a second and then their lips were moving, moving, moving, all in desperation. It wasn't about gentleness or pleasure, it was about being close and reassured that they were together and fine.
They were still alive, against all odds.
And, even more surprising, Shiro was finally, finally kissing Lance. Lance was kissing him back with the same amount of emotion if not more.
Shiro's head was spinning and his eyes were closed and he kept holding Lance while he attempted to breath through it all.
They broke the kiss, panting a bit.
Lance was beautiful in the soft light, with his lips still slightly parted and his eyes dazzled. He looked ravished and dizzy; he also looked hungry.
Shiro wondered if he looked the same. If Lance could see him and guess that they were only just starting.
Shiro nodded, more to himself than anything. Yes. He was done denying all the obvious feelings that both had for each other. Yes, it was going to be a process; yes, they probably were going to fight even more, and more likely than not Lance was going to drive him crazy but he could tell that the reward was going to be so, so worth it.
Lance focused his gaze on him for a few charged seconds. Then he took Shiro's face in his hands and kissed him again. Slowly this time, enjoying the exciting new feeling.
Would you let me? Can we be happy?
Yes. Lets.
--
One morning almost two week later, Shiro found himself pausing while he was brushing his teeth, a mischievous idea being born in his brain. Ok, maybe it wasn't that wicked, nonetheless, he had to actively fight against a smile so he could finish his oral hygiene.
And if everything went according to his plan, he was going to need his breath to be fresh.
Without bothering to dress himself with more than his boxers and the t-shirt he normally used to sleep in, Shiro went back to bed, moved around his pillow until he was comfortable (he wasn't used to be in bed more than he strictly needed to, so that took a while) and then waited, looking at the door and trying not to count the seconds.
He felt an emotion very similar to excitement and enjoyment settling in his stomach. That made him pause again because it had been a long while since he had felt such a thing without being somehow related to the intergalactic war that they were living.
But that was The Lance Effect™, Shiro guessed. Making him feel like he was completely human again for a little while.
In fact, it might as well be an totally real effect because Shiro's temper and normal gloominess had been better these last few days. Shiro had been feeling great, excellent even, all things considered. Lance was an attentive partner. Expressing just the right amount of warmth and freedom; openly taking care of Shiro just when the time was right, disarming him little by little with smalltalk and blinding smiles.
To Shiro's surprise, Lance, who wasn't the most inconspicuous of all the paladins, was being very, very private about their new relationship; taking his time exploring Shiro's moods and limits without hurry in the little moments they had. It was like Lance was absolutely sure he had all the time in the universe. Like he wanted to do this right.
And really, that thought brought Shiro the same amount of giddiness and nervousness. Who knew Lance would be so good at reading Shiro's silent and probably unknown cues about himself and the way he needed their relationship to be? Not even Shiro's imagination could have done that.
He had kinda thought he was going to be the one leading and redirecting Lance; helping Lance to feel well and safe. He never once thought he could be led, that he would be one expending the best part of a night embraced by Lance's arms and legs while his fingers brushed against the line of his hair until Shiro was sure he could sleep for the rest of the night hours in peace.
Shiro didn't know why, especially with the amount of hours wholly dedicated to imagine Lance in different scenarios, he never fully expected Lance to be this potentially qualified to be...
His equal.
And that was the root of the giddy thoughts Shiro had had recently.
Soon enough, though, Shiro heard the telltale signs that Lance was about to open his door. Shiro wasn't disappointed. There Lance stood, holding whatever strange juice he made Shiro this morning in one hand, the other hand scratching his left eye, looking more asleep than awake, as usual.
Shiro grinned and waited.
Yes, there was Lance's gaze roaming all over his room, searching for Shiro aaaaand, oh, yes. There they were. Those blue eyes opened wide, clearly surprised with locating Shiro in bed after a solid month of Lance accustoming himself to find Shiro up and about even when Lance made the immense effort of waking up really, really early.
Shiro suppressed a giggle.
“Good morning, Lance.” Shiro said instead.
It took Lance a few seconds of moving his lips to empty air before he found his voice.
“You-You... are... still in bed...”
Shiro made a show of looking around himself as if checking he was indeed on his bed, playing innocent and a little coy for Lance.
“Oh, yes. I am. I thought, well, after yesterday battle I could afford a little more time resting.”
“... Right.”
A moment in silence. Shiro smiled, enjoying the pink color that was making itself more and more present in Lance's cheeks.
“Well?”
“Uhm?”
“Are you coming in?”
Lance took two step into his room, still looking at Shiro with unblinking eyes.
Shiro chuckled.
“All right, then. What does my juice taste as today?”
“Guanábana.”
Shiro cocked his neck to a side, confused and totally amused by Lance's inability to stick to one language when he was focused in something else.
“Wuan-What? I'm sorry?”
“I-I don't know, man. Guanábana. It tastes good. It's sweet and good. Uhum. In bed.”
“It tastes good in bed?” Shiro parroted, smirking.
“What?!” Lance recoiled as if Shiro had shot him a bomb at his feet. His face was even redder than before and his hands moved discordantly to whatever he was saying about beds, and hot guys, and juice and spilling and Shiro couldn't conceal his amusement anymore and laughed at loud, cutting Lance's speech.
“Lance, just... Come to bed.” Shiro invited him in, patting the mattress with his prosthetic hand for good measure.
Lance paused for a bit before a breathtaking smile took over his features. Finally, he let go of the glass full with a white-colored liquid on Shiro's desk and cannon-balled himself into the bed. Laughing softly, Lance rearranged Shiro into the position of his preference and then proceeded to rest almost all of his weight on Shiro's front, interlocking their long legs as they went.
Lance took a moment to cover them with the sheet before resting his head over Shiro's collarbone, laying them down chest to chest. Shiro smiled, pleased with this behavior. He cuddled Lance between his arms, human hand caressing his back over his PJs.
Lance gave a delighted sigh and Shiro could have bet he had closed his eyes.
“You waited for me in bed.” Lance said in a quiet and dreamily voice. Shiro felt Lance's soft breaths on his neck.
“Yes. Thought I could try it, for once.”
Lance laughed.
“Thank you.”
Shiro didn't predict that answer, especially not from Lance, so he didn't know what to do with the way his tongue got confused inside his mouth. He wanted to say I think I do so little. And, You are always the one initiating our time together. And You're the one taking care of me, this is the least I could do. But he couldn't really put his throat to work, so Shiro settled to hug Lance in a tighter embrace.
Lance's hand started moving a bit after awhile of just holding each other. His hand traveled lightly all over Shiro's right shoulder and arm, taking his time to press his fingers in the prosthetic as if it was more delicate than flesh and bones. Then, Lance moved until he was resting at Shiro's right side and his other hand did the same path on Shiro's left shoulder and human arm and hand.
Shiro knew Lance was fascinated by the feeling if only because he was pretty caught up into it himself-because Lance was quiet, his touch reverent. Shiro felt his skin tingling even when the rest of him got more relaxed than ever.
Finally satisfied with his explorations, Lance interweaved their human hands together and sighed again.
“This is nice.” Lance sentenced.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Oh quiznak. Isn't this the craziest thing ever?”
Shiro continued caressing Lance's back.
“What do you mean?”
Lance didn't lift his head, talking against Shiro's chest like it was the most normal thing in the universe.
“Us.” A tick later, Shiro physically felt the way Lance's body went a little rigid above his own. “Eeehh. Well, I mean... Because we're... We are together, right? You know, together-together?”
Shiro took a deep breath and made a point of tightening his embrace on Lance for a second.
“Yes, Lance. Of course we are together-together.”
Once again, Lance's body relaxed completely and Shiro felt Lance's lips stretch into a smile against his chest.
“Oh. Good. Because I've always thought we were. So, isn't this crazy? I mean, I would have never imagined! Even when I've always felt attracted to you... I never thought you'd like me!”
Shiro paused for a second.
“Why not?”
“'cause you're perfect and deserve the best.”
Shiro felt short of breath, suddenly.
“But Lance... I'm not perfect. And-And you're...”
“Yeah. I mean, I get it! You're a human being, you aren't, like, perfect-perfect but you are your best, you know? Like, you are the best version of yourself even with everything that is going on. Even with-eh, with your past. You're always so kind and strong, even when you don't even try. And that is so awesome, man. You're awesome.”
Shiro didn't know what to say to that. Lance sounded so sincere, so full of honesty while calling him all the things that Shiro normally felt he was not. Kind? Strong? ... Human?
Shiro's brain took more than a moment to collect itself. His heart, on the other hand, was beating wild inside his chest. Lance could probably feel it.
Shiro was overwhelmed but, nonetheless, he forced his body to move. Gently, he manhandled Lance until they were eye to eye, side by side on his small bed.
Lance was smiling, comfortable in their intimacy. Shiro took note to ask him in the future how he achieved that so easily.
Shiro finally talked on his third try.
“I used to imagined you in different scenarios than always ended with both of us together.”
Lance belly-laughed, blue eyes shining with joy.
“What? Really? What kind of scenarios?”
“Plenty of them. Most pretty ordinary. You-You are so human, so normal that I wanted that.”
Shiro felt like he was revealing one of his most private secrets; it felt like a pretty important moment. Lance, on the other hand, stopped smiling and frowned, putting some distance between his bodies, even.
Lance's progressively sadder face told Shiro that he had said something wrong, very wrong.
“Excuse me? Normal?”
Ah. Right. That... Yes. Shiro could see why Lance was so displeased and even hurt by being called 'normal'.
Shiro was an idiot. He needed it to explain himself.
“Normal is not the same as average. It's not.” Lance looked two seconds away to panic and Shiro needed it to fix this. “Hear me out. Please. Please. Hear me out, Lance.”
Lance nodded. Then, in a tone that sounded both vulnerable and nonchalant at once he said:
“Sure.”
Shiro tried to dominate his anxiety before talking. He wasn't about to lose Lance over semantics.
“A few years ago... I was normal. And then, after Kerberos, I wasn't.” Shiro lifted his prosthetic arm to made a point. “Galra tech. I-I can actually feel with this, you know? It's like my brain can pick when it's a weapon and when it's just my hand. I don't remember most of my year in captivity but what I can remember... I dislike it. I hate it. I hate them, and I hate myself. I hate to know... That I am The Champion. Right now, Lance... I'm anything but human. I'm not normal.”
Lance didn't seem as panicked as before but he was still frowning. Shiro kept talking.
“And then there was you. I mean, all of you help, I've told you this before, but you, you Lance,... You made me laugh and be silly, and made me stop trying to regain memories of my past so I could start making new ones, great ones. You make me feel... Focused, happy. And... Human. Because, Lance, you're normal in a way that I'll never be. You are completely human, and I swear to God sometimes I think you're made of pure joy just so you can give some it away. You are the normal one, the human one, that keeps us from going crazy.”
Lance was still quiet at the end and Shiro left his pulse quickening through fear.
“Do you-“ Shiro continued, trying with all his might to control the impulse that told him to get out of the room and just accept that he didn't deserve to be happy anymore and be done with it. “Pro-probably 'normal' isn't the best word. Yeah, I get it now. But... It's the one that I've always... I mean, that's what I really, really want and you're that, and...”
Apparently, Lance took pity on him because he moved his hand over Shiro's mouth, effectively silenced him.
“Actually...” Lance said at last, sounded very doubtful. “You make me sound... Special. Like-like I am...”
Gently, Shiro took away Lance's hand and talked once more.
“Like you are exactly what I need, exactly what I want.” Shiro smiled. “Yes, you're right. You are. Lance, I can't believe that we are together because to me... You're the best and I'm pretty sure I don't deserve you.”
Lance took a very delicate breath before talking. His voice sound vulnerable and naked.
“Shiro... You're the most impressive human that I know. And I will make you happy because you deserve to be. I-I swear. I'll make you happy; I'll make you feel safe.”
Shiro's heart was beating like a crazy animal once more. Half in relief, half in confused excitement.
He wanted to say that he'll make Lance happy as well, but Shiro wasn't so sure yet, plus, it felt like he had talked too much already. His quota of sharing more than overpaid.
Then again, he was in a relationship now. A relationship with Lance. Communication was the key, he knew.
“... This is everything I've ever wanted.” Lance whispered in a secret tone; like he was the one now sharing a bit of his soul, but confident while doing it, nonetheless. “I've always wanted to... To be... Special to someone. Like-Like... I've always wanted them to trust me and confide in me. Accept me as me and... You know, that they like me above everybody else and show it, even if it's only in private.” Lance's eyes were brightening again, even in the poor light of Shiro's cabin. “And you are giving me that. You're... You too. You make me happy, too.”
A warm feeling made a home in Shiro's chest after Lance's speech. Shiro smiled, pleased. There were probably one million more of thing to say, especially cheesy, stickily-sweet ones, but Shiro was having trouble breathing correctly through all the giddiness and happiness inside him, they felt hot and pleasurable inside his bones, so he just hugged Lance again against his own chest and enjoyed the comfortable closeness.
Yes. That felt right.
Lance laughed once more.
“Someday you're going to tell me all about the things you imagined, you clear? Even the sexy bits that I know that exist because, seriously, look at me. I'm impossible to resist.”
It was Shiro's turn to laugh.
“Maybe.”
Lance returned Shiro's embrace and Shiro felt the way Lance's breathing grew deeper and relaxed.
Shiro didn't know when he had closed his eyes, but they were closed now, anyway. Lance's body was, no surprise here, a very comfortable weight of heat above him and Shiro got really sleepy a moment later, emotionally exhausted but calm after their talk.
Maybe, just maybe... He could sleep a little bit more?
Gosh. He sounded so unsure and uncertain even in his own mind, even after all the confessions and the promises. It felt like sleeping outside his routinely night-cycle was the same as to break a very strict rule that was going to change him forever. Man, he was such a rebel!
On the other hand, it really felt like the most twisted kind of freedom he had experienced in a while. He had to ask Lance about this weird feeling of being free when in reality he was being pressing down onto his bed.
Maybe Lance was right and Shiro was special and exactly what he need it as well. Not just on his way-too-many imaginary worlds but right there and there. In space. In reality.
Maybe there was hope. Maybe Shiro could be human and happy again.
Lance softly snored and Shiro didn't fight anymore. He was asleep on the next second.
Shiro wasn't too sure how long they were asleep together but it really didn't matter when he was awaken by Lance's sweet kisses being delivered all over his face and neck. Shiro smiled, feeling better rested and lighter than he could recall.
“Yes. This is exactly how I have always wanted to find you.” Lance informed him in a secret voice, with a pleasant husky edge at the end.
Oh well. Lance had always been the plan guy because his strategies tended to be the best ones. Shiro knew that first hand.
“Really? You wanted to kiss me awake?” Shiro's voice was also affected by their time napping, it sounded raspy and deep.
And sexy as well, if Lance's full body shiver was any indication.
Shiro smirked, opening his eyes. And, oh Universe, what a sight Lance was. This closed up, Shiro could really appreciate the way his hair was all over the place and the unfairly compliant and attractive curve of his mouth, almost panting against his own lips. His impossible blue eyes were glowing, even in the dark.
Shiro might had growled a bit, but Lance was closing the distance between their lips a tick later and a pleasurable shudder went up and down Shiro's back and, really, thinking was overrated this early in the space-morning anyway.
Their lips moved together slowly but filled with intent and passion. Lance rearranged himself over Shiro, giving himself more room with his arms and then he started sucking and lightly biting Shiro's bottom lip until Shiro's breathing accelerated. Then Lance's tongue joined the party and, let Shiro assure you, Lance knew what he was doing in the kissing department.
Never one to be completely passive, Shiro took hold of Lance's hair and lower back and then took upon himself to dominate Lance's tongue with his own. He knew a trick or two as well, so Shiro didn't lose time opening Lance's mouth and claiming him.
Lance moaned and then trembled over him. Shiro's own shiver was such a hot reaction.
Being seriously turned on by a make out session hadn't been exactly Shiro's plan when he decided that he was going to surprise Lance in bed, (nor was confessing embarrassing things, for that matter) so he didn't know if he was supposed to stop this before it got out of hand.
But then Lance shifted once more and suddenly both of Lance's legs were very much embracing Shiro's own leg between them and Shiro could feel on his hip that Lance was really, really turned on by all this, and... Surely they could stay in bed half an hour more, right?
Making his decision, Shiro hand traveled all the way to Lance's ass and groped him a bit. Lance reaction was instantaneous, as if all of his nerves were on fire already. He jerked and moaned once more and pressed his erection into Shiro's hip.
And fuck, talk about a hot feeling. Shiro growled again into the kiss, using the hand that was still into Lance's hair to stop all of his movement so Shiro could thrust his tongue in an out of it, possessive and demanding all at once.
And Lance... Oh God, Lance started humping his hip at the same speed than Shiro's tongue and letting out all kind of choked and very sexy sounds. Shiro felt deliciously lightheaded; overwhelmed with all the feelings that his body could create in response to Lance own pleasure.
Finally breaking the kiss, Shiro grunted while changing their positions, pinning Lance down to bed, going as far as taking Lance's wrist into his hand and then over his head. The pillow was on the floor by now just like the sheet but none of that mattered because Lance's pupils were blown wide and his lips were red and obviously used and Shiro's self control was checking itself out from the building.
That's was exactly the moment when the alarm went off.
“Paladins!” Coran's voice could be heard through all the castle. “An incoming planet it's requesting our immediate help! I'll repeat: An incoming planet is...”
“No no no no no, no!” Lance cried, clearly frustrated. “Not now! Oh, fuck! Can they excuse us for, like, five minutes?”
Even when Shiro could relate with the sentiment, he couldn't help but tease him.
“Only five minutes?”
Lance blushed even more but his eyes never strayed away from Shiro's. One moment later, he was smirking up at Shiro.
“I'm that good, baby!” Lance winked and then slowly licked his lips with lewd pleasure, even releasing a dramatic and overly sexual gasp at the end of it so Shiro didn't have any doubt of what was he talking about. “You are in for a ride. Ehrm. Later. After being heroes and all that.”
Shiro needed a minute. In fact, he could use a long shower. His brain supplying ways of putting on his uniform so his half hard dick wasn't that obvious.
Lance got it worst than him, though. Shiro smiled and Lance blushed once more.
“Let's go to be heroes then.”
Lance groaned, resigned.
“Right, right. Whatever. Drink your juice before going to deck. I'm cool and my dick really isn't but whatever, we're cool. But yeah, drink the fucking juice.”
Shiro laughed, getting out of bed, amused by Lance's frustration.
--
Here's the rest of the 2st Chapter.
or AO3