Little old me
I am a fat cow. I can't take it anymore!!!!!! I'm so freaking sick of it and Im probably running very bad b.c. I haven't ran in three days!!! So anyways yesterday I went to grasshoppers and the girl who worked there had her lip pierced....I really liked it and now I kind of want to get mine pierced. Do you think it would look cute? I wonder if it would hurt when you kissed someone? oh well its not like I'm going to be kissing neone netime soon! lol
I think when I get home I'm going to dye my hair dark again..bc its lightening up! I started writing new poem the other day...but I didn't finish it. I always do that...I'll start writing something really good but then I stop. Thats the story of my life I'm always afraid to end stuff.
The other day I was talking to my aunt vonnie about my aunt moo and I realized I have more hidden feelings then I knew. I realized that most of my problems in life and insecurities come from her. All the times I wanted to commit suicide it was b.c. of her. I realized when I feel bad about myself or think I'm ugly, its usually b.c. of her. And I try not to take it so personal, but your family is suppose to be the people you turn to in hard times, not the people who make the hard times. I realized I just want to escape her..I feel like I'm just so negative sometimes b.c. she is always. Sometimes I just want to throw away my life and disappoint her and then turn around and blame it on her. Ahhhh I'm just so angry. She is just such a BITCH sometimes. The other day I felt terrible I had the worst day ever and it was b.c. she was treating me like shit. And I got so mad that I actually wished she would get in a car accident. I hated myself for wishing that...I took it back rite away..but its horrible that someone can drive you to so much hatred. I just don't have anyone to really talk to or comfort me. It sux. I think thats why I want to meet a guy so much. But why would a guy want to get involve with someone who has as many issues as me? who knos the years can't go anyfaster than they already do!
So now that I'm done filling you up w/ my problems. How r ur summers going? OMG I'm seeing things...I swear I just saw something crawling across the floor..but theres nothing there. I'm crzy. Well I'm going to try to con my cousin in to running with me. <3 xo
Ooooo last thought....who wants to 4real take pole dancing lessons w/ me? Kaitlin? Stacy?