(no subject)
Have you ever felt stuck in one place...but that place is your life. It's like ur waiting 4 something to happen that just hovers in time and you dred the time in between it and after it. Am I making ne sense?
Well I feel that way right now. I just don't know wat to do with myself. Lots of things are happening but I'm not letting any of them affect me directly. I'm staying in my own little comfort zone in my own little world. I'm sad for many reasons....I should be happy....but I'm not! why? I don't understand it. I anticipate so much and when I finally have the chance to experience it or get what I've been waiting for...I get cold feet or I'm to afraid to let it take place.
Do you notice how things always take place better in your mind then in real life? How you suddenly have the courage, talent, and beauty to over come the things you imagine. It is really an amazing hole I've dug for myself. I can't blame anyone but myself for allowing people to push over me and take advantage. I've let my aunt and uncle control my life and I've let others decide how I view myself inward and outward.
I need to stop and I need to let go. I can't live life by imaging myself wishing on a star, then not wishing on the star and mopeing about it afterward.
The End