MBLGTACC 2010 recap. Hyriarchy to Bisexuality
Kyriarchy is "a neologism coined by Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza and derived from the Greek words for "lord" or "master" (kyrios) and "to rule or dominate" (archein)." The term seeks to modify the term patriarchy to elaborate intersecting structures of domination. Kyriarchy is a system of "ruling and oppression" in which many people may interact and act as oppressor or oppressed.
The Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference was held in Madison, Wisconsin this year. If you want some background on it, please visit lgbt.wisc.edu/mblgtacc/about.php
The BQC (We used to call it BGC for Big Gay Conference, but I'm renaming the nickname BQC for Big Queer Conference) this year was as enlightening as ever. The theme was "Get Real! Confronting Privilege, Provoking Dialogue and Building New Foundations." Each BQC I choose a specific topic I want to learn more about. This year it was bisexuality. I'm going to break it down by event and time for thought organization purposes.
Friday, February 19
Registration opens
We'll include the trip down for this. By far the least painful BQC road trip for me. A meager 6 ish hours in the car is nothing for this conference. I rode with Gail, Kylynn, and Wyatt. It was calm and painless. We arrived at registration and checked in, I had to return later because my scholarship name tag hadn't been printed yet, but no worries. We went to the hotel and settled in. I roomed with Kylynn, Danielle, and Moira. Kylynn was going to the Hillel, so I decided to walk up to the conference center about a mile away and say Hello to my lovely Phopp.
I swung by registration to get my name tag and then headed up to see my favorite ally ever. We caught up for about an hour and then went down to meet Kate from MSU before the keynote to touch base and say hello. It was really good to see them both. I wish I had a vehicle so I could see them both a little more often, among others.
Welcome and Keynote by Loren Cameron
I saw Loren at a BQC in 2007 in Minneapolis. Pretty similar talk, but with updated information on what he's been doing the last two years and some new moving stories. If you're interested in learning about trans photography or viewing a statement on transgender people via photography, I strongly recommend his work.
Entertainment by Imani Henry
I was starving by this point, so Wyatt and his friend and I went to go find food. We wandered around the Captiol and then headed down state street in search of veg. friendly food for Wyatt. We stumbled into a Noodles and Company where I had some delicious Chicken Noodle Soup and met up with a bunch of other kids from Northern, like Death, Skippy, Marissa, Sarah, and a bunch of other folks. After dinner we discussed the possibility of going out, but I was feeling pretty wiped, so I crashed. Kylynn was in the room, and was to tired to cuddle and I was a sad panda. But I got over it because that's what friends do sometimes.
Saturday, February 20
Navigating the Politics of Relationships for Bisexual and Lesbian Women presented by Amney Harper, Liz Cannon, Stephanie Graham, and Erin Doolin (One of them was missing, but I forget which one.) Workshop 1
I attended Navigating the Politics of Relationships for Bisexual and Lesbian Women because of my desire to learn about bisexuality this year. I also had my first epiphany of the weekend in this workshop, which is a good way to start a conference. This workshop was working off of the monogamous relationship model, so polyamory and polygamy was not addressed.
In this workshop they also touched on the struggles of the inter-racial couple in relationships between two women. The dynamic of the inter-racial couple changes a relationship between two women because it complicates the experiences do you have. "Are we being gawked at because we're two women or because we're different races?" There's also the differences between their racial socialization, and their families values and opinions. One may be more comfortable and need more physical affection then the other, one may not be accepted by her family, etc. (Of course these are things that are present in all relationships, but their is definitely a play of racial socialization and ethnic identity tied into it for inter-racial couples.) There can also be the issue of power imbalance in a relationship caused by societies reaction to your relationship. For a simple example, when at a restaurant if the couple consists of a Black woman and a Caucasian woman, and the waiter directs all of his/her/hir questions to the Caucasian woman, it can potentially displace a sense of power.
On to the epiphany moment. It was one of those things where if I had stopped to think about it for a second, rather then assume(fml.) I would have caught on. I have stated that bisexuals are lucky because their dating pool is so much bigger then everyone else's. This isn't true. Based on the idea that a strong healthy relationship is built on open conversation and honesty, a bisexual would be out to their significant other. The pain and struggle that many bisexuals experience if they hide their sexuality is real, and I couldn't imagine hiding something that significant about myself from someone I was with. Because of this, bisexuals only have a dating pool that consists of the small sliver of both the straight and gay communities that aren't affected by biphobia, as well as the bisexual community. Therefore their dating pool may even be smaller then mine. Insert Epiphany Here.
The other topic we discussed was the feeling of lost identity when a bisexual is in a relationship. They are identified by the relationship they are in, rather then the identity they have for themselves. If a bisexual woman is with another woman(who can be bisexual, lesbain, or any other sexual identity she choses), she is labeled a lesbian, if she is with a man(who can be bisexual, gay, or any other sexual identity she choses), she is labeled straight. We even call these relationships lesbian and straight relationships, which is incredibly misleading.
I made a few notes to look up "Identity: Skin, Blood, Heart" by Rosewood and "Across the kitchen table: A sister to sister dialogue" as well as Bleiber Fertman Godino and Todhunter on Bisexual identity, and Jordan and Deluty(Debuty?), Oswald, and Connolly. Sorry if that stuff doesn't make sense, those are the short hand notes I have from it, and I haven't had a chance to look them up yet.
Overall it was a fantastic workshop and I learned a significant amount. It was humbling to know that I didn't really acknowledge much of the struggle of the bisexual, and I had dated a bisexual for a year. I still need to have a conversation with her and get her input on things.
Check your Privlidge: Social Justice Ally Development presented by Doris Dirks, E.J. Basa, and Amy Pooley Workshop 2
This workshop was not what I was expecting. I don't really know what I was expecting, but I most definitely got a lot from being there, but not really in the way I was expecting. They did an overview of a program they run to help people who have gone through their initial ally training and want to do more in the social justice department.
I made a few notes about looking into Keith Edwards' Ally Development as well as SoJust.net and SJTI.org.
The main things I got out of this workshop was a contact. Amy, one of the presenters, is a public policy major at Northwestern, and I asked her about the Social Welfare Policy paper I have to do, and topics in the LGBT community I could do. I had been stuck in a federal legislation rut, and when she mentioned doing it on transgender healthcare I had another "duh." moment. She offered to help me with it, so I shot her a message and we'll see how it goes.
Intimate Partner Violence in LGBTQ Communities presented by Kari Mickelson and Molly Herrman Workshop 3
This workshop focused mainly on the lack of services for LGBTQ people in the domestic violence arena. The intersection of same-sex partners being okay with reporting, being believed when they report, services that are welcoming to them, or lack there of, and a discussion of power in same-sex relationships.
An interesting fact I picked up from this is that the rates of abuse that's admitted to is, for all intents and purposes, dead even in different-sex and same-sex partners. Which has interesting implications as to the causes of partner violence and it's origins, but would require more thought then I have to put into it right now.
Toward the end of this workshop I had two main questions on my mind, what about getting help to the perpetrators of the violence, as well as the influence that marketing drugs and alcohol to the queer community has on substance abuse, which directly relates to domestic violence.
Lunch
Kylynn and I went to an Irish pub near the Capitol and got Caesar Salads with Ranch, a beer(I had a Lakefront something or other from Milwaukee and she had a Guinness.) and decent conversation about the workshops we'd attended.
State Caucuses
I stopped into the Michigan one immediately to say hello to the crew from the now disbanded Michigan Campus Alliance, and then head over to Wisconsin's to make some connections with the Wisconsin kids as I'm moving there in May. We did introductions and then signed up for e-mail stuff. We then chatted for a bit and then I went back to Michigan as there was a lot of time left and I knew Michigan's caucus would need some voice as to what happened with the Michigan Campus Alliance and Kate might appreciate having me around.
The caucus could have gone better, and there was some talk of interest in creating a new statewide org, and I let them know I'd be willing to give them anything I may have and talk to them about it, but that I can't do that as MCA's fall took all the heart and soul I put into it down with it.
Building a Fair Wisconsin presented by Tim Ewing and Jeff Mayefske Workshop 4
I really wanted to attend this one to help catch me up to the political climate in Wisconsin so I am not starting from scratch when I move there because I haven't been paying attention to their politics. The major landmark things that I got from it was the Marriage Ban I already knew about from '06, but the new stuff was the Domestic Partnership legislation that went through in '09. I didn't much like the serious focus on marriage that pervaded the workshop, but they did talk about more then just marriage. I signed up for more information and will be looking into them more in-depth soon.
Smoke Break
Somewhere in here I took a smoke break and met Kayla, Kayla, and Chantelle from St. Cloud, and we had really good conversations about what was going on at the conference. Great connections I hope to hold on to for a long time.
For Hearing People Only presented by Kate Skarda and someone who replaced Amy Free Workshop 5
I was relatively disappointed by this presentation. Aside from Kate being exceptionally beautiful (though straight), it was just a recap of the things I've learned in my American Sign Language classes. They didn't discuss the intersection of Deaf community and Queer community whatsoever. I also doubt they even have any idea who Raymond Luczak is. Which is disappointing.
Dinner with Gail
I believe we at at a middle eastern restaurant. Kylynn, is that right? I had stuffed Chicken in some kind of berry sauce, and it only slightly upset my stomach, which was exciting. The atmosphere and service was absolutely fantastic though. I enjoy eating at a large table with my queer family members.
Keynote by Mia Mingus
This was prefaced with a statement by QPOC(Queer People of Color). They handed out fliers accusing the conference (aka their hometown and school) of being discriminatory to people of color, transgender people, and people with disabilities. There were some closed caucuses and workshops for QPOC, transgender issues, and disabilities.
Mia is a trans-national, trans-adoptee, queer woman with a disability. Her keynote spoke to the intersectionality of issues and our need to not fight exclusively for the things that directly impact us because nothing will be solved unless we come together with people of color, people who are disabled, people who have different experiences and different understandings, and are oppressed in one form or another. We need to give up our privilege because it is detracting from the privilege of others. It was a motivating keynote with a lot of insight. If you want to add more to this, please feel free. It's getting late and my brain is getting fried, but I'm almost done and want to finish. Drag Off
It was relatively impressive. There were somethings I just sort of shrugged at, and somethings I was particularly impressed with. "We both reached for the gun" and "Cell Block Tango" were both done by Drag King Troupes(really, they were Drag GenderFuck Troupes and it rocked) It was also nice to see Drag Kings en-force because as much Drag as I've seen, Kings aren't something I've really had an opportunity to watch.
Sunday, February 21
Why Bisexuality should matter to Lesbian and Gay People presented by Victor Raymond Workshop 6
My last workshop, again on bisexuality. (The amount of workshops on Bisexuality was good, but a lot of them were during the first session on Saturday, so I couldn't attend as many as I wanted to, which was disappointing.)
Victor was a fabulous presenter. My second epiphany came during this workshop. We went over a lot of really valuable information, mostly on the misconceptions of bisexuals. I'm going to list them and if you have questions, holler and I'll share more, or you can find it at biwisconsin.wordpress.net.
Misconceptions:
I do want to touch on the Bisexuals and their long list of bad stereotypes, however. At the beginning of this workshop we wrote down a list of stereotypes of bisexuals(Promiscuous, spread STI's, horny, confused, indecisive, etc). We then went through this list, and found that every argument for each stereotype was also used against the gay and lesbian communities. It's almost like we're taking the conversations and letters we've received from people who do not support us and turned around and read them off to the bisexuals in our lives. And that's bullshit. Insert Epiphany Here.
Conference closing and Keynote by Kate Bornstein
Phenomenal. She spoke on intersectionality and her theories building off of post-modern theory. She introduced the word Kiryarchy to me. She also focused on the need to make life worth living, whatever the cost, just don't be mean and handed out "get out of hell free" cards. I hope to come back and add more to this later, but for now I'm going to wrap it up.
The main things I got from this entire experience is the need to reach out to other groups and offer to help them, rather then asking them for help. I also learned a lot more about privilege, able-ism, and Kiryarchy. The overarching feeling I had when I left the conference was humble. I was humbled this weekend, and it energized me. It helped me focus, and gave me motivation to learn and do the work that needs to be done.
The Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference was held in Madison, Wisconsin this year. If you want some background on it, please visit lgbt.wisc.edu/mblgtacc/about.php
The BQC (We used to call it BGC for Big Gay Conference, but I'm renaming the nickname BQC for Big Queer Conference) this year was as enlightening as ever. The theme was "Get Real! Confronting Privilege, Provoking Dialogue and Building New Foundations." Each BQC I choose a specific topic I want to learn more about. This year it was bisexuality. I'm going to break it down by event and time for thought organization purposes.
Friday, February 19
Registration opens
We'll include the trip down for this. By far the least painful BQC road trip for me. A meager 6 ish hours in the car is nothing for this conference. I rode with Gail, Kylynn, and Wyatt. It was calm and painless. We arrived at registration and checked in, I had to return later because my scholarship name tag hadn't been printed yet, but no worries. We went to the hotel and settled in. I roomed with Kylynn, Danielle, and Moira. Kylynn was going to the Hillel, so I decided to walk up to the conference center about a mile away and say Hello to my lovely Phopp.
I swung by registration to get my name tag and then headed up to see my favorite ally ever. We caught up for about an hour and then went down to meet Kate from MSU before the keynote to touch base and say hello. It was really good to see them both. I wish I had a vehicle so I could see them both a little more often, among others.
Welcome and Keynote by Loren Cameron
I saw Loren at a BQC in 2007 in Minneapolis. Pretty similar talk, but with updated information on what he's been doing the last two years and some new moving stories. If you're interested in learning about trans photography or viewing a statement on transgender people via photography, I strongly recommend his work.
Entertainment by Imani Henry
I was starving by this point, so Wyatt and his friend and I went to go find food. We wandered around the Captiol and then headed down state street in search of veg. friendly food for Wyatt. We stumbled into a Noodles and Company where I had some delicious Chicken Noodle Soup and met up with a bunch of other kids from Northern, like Death, Skippy, Marissa, Sarah, and a bunch of other folks. After dinner we discussed the possibility of going out, but I was feeling pretty wiped, so I crashed. Kylynn was in the room, and was to tired to cuddle and I was a sad panda. But I got over it because that's what friends do sometimes.
Saturday, February 20
Navigating the Politics of Relationships for Bisexual and Lesbian Women presented by Amney Harper, Liz Cannon, Stephanie Graham, and Erin Doolin (One of them was missing, but I forget which one.) Workshop 1
I attended Navigating the Politics of Relationships for Bisexual and Lesbian Women because of my desire to learn about bisexuality this year. I also had my first epiphany of the weekend in this workshop, which is a good way to start a conference. This workshop was working off of the monogamous relationship model, so polyamory and polygamy was not addressed.
In this workshop they also touched on the struggles of the inter-racial couple in relationships between two women. The dynamic of the inter-racial couple changes a relationship between two women because it complicates the experiences do you have. "Are we being gawked at because we're two women or because we're different races?" There's also the differences between their racial socialization, and their families values and opinions. One may be more comfortable and need more physical affection then the other, one may not be accepted by her family, etc. (Of course these are things that are present in all relationships, but their is definitely a play of racial socialization and ethnic identity tied into it for inter-racial couples.) There can also be the issue of power imbalance in a relationship caused by societies reaction to your relationship. For a simple example, when at a restaurant if the couple consists of a Black woman and a Caucasian woman, and the waiter directs all of his/her/hir questions to the Caucasian woman, it can potentially displace a sense of power.
On to the epiphany moment. It was one of those things where if I had stopped to think about it for a second, rather then assume(fml.) I would have caught on. I have stated that bisexuals are lucky because their dating pool is so much bigger then everyone else's. This isn't true. Based on the idea that a strong healthy relationship is built on open conversation and honesty, a bisexual would be out to their significant other. The pain and struggle that many bisexuals experience if they hide their sexuality is real, and I couldn't imagine hiding something that significant about myself from someone I was with. Because of this, bisexuals only have a dating pool that consists of the small sliver of both the straight and gay communities that aren't affected by biphobia, as well as the bisexual community. Therefore their dating pool may even be smaller then mine. Insert Epiphany Here.
The other topic we discussed was the feeling of lost identity when a bisexual is in a relationship. They are identified by the relationship they are in, rather then the identity they have for themselves. If a bisexual woman is with another woman(who can be bisexual, lesbain, or any other sexual identity she choses), she is labeled a lesbian, if she is with a man(who can be bisexual, gay, or any other sexual identity she choses), she is labeled straight. We even call these relationships lesbian and straight relationships, which is incredibly misleading.
I made a few notes to look up "Identity: Skin, Blood, Heart" by Rosewood and "Across the kitchen table: A sister to sister dialogue" as well as Bleiber Fertman Godino and Todhunter on Bisexual identity, and Jordan and Deluty(Debuty?), Oswald, and Connolly. Sorry if that stuff doesn't make sense, those are the short hand notes I have from it, and I haven't had a chance to look them up yet.
Overall it was a fantastic workshop and I learned a significant amount. It was humbling to know that I didn't really acknowledge much of the struggle of the bisexual, and I had dated a bisexual for a year. I still need to have a conversation with her and get her input on things.
Check your Privlidge: Social Justice Ally Development presented by Doris Dirks, E.J. Basa, and Amy Pooley Workshop 2
This workshop was not what I was expecting. I don't really know what I was expecting, but I most definitely got a lot from being there, but not really in the way I was expecting. They did an overview of a program they run to help people who have gone through their initial ally training and want to do more in the social justice department.
I made a few notes about looking into Keith Edwards' Ally Development as well as SoJust.net and SJTI.org.
The main things I got out of this workshop was a contact. Amy, one of the presenters, is a public policy major at Northwestern, and I asked her about the Social Welfare Policy paper I have to do, and topics in the LGBT community I could do. I had been stuck in a federal legislation rut, and when she mentioned doing it on transgender healthcare I had another "duh." moment. She offered to help me with it, so I shot her a message and we'll see how it goes.
Intimate Partner Violence in LGBTQ Communities presented by Kari Mickelson and Molly Herrman Workshop 3
This workshop focused mainly on the lack of services for LGBTQ people in the domestic violence arena. The intersection of same-sex partners being okay with reporting, being believed when they report, services that are welcoming to them, or lack there of, and a discussion of power in same-sex relationships.
An interesting fact I picked up from this is that the rates of abuse that's admitted to is, for all intents and purposes, dead even in different-sex and same-sex partners. Which has interesting implications as to the causes of partner violence and it's origins, but would require more thought then I have to put into it right now.
Toward the end of this workshop I had two main questions on my mind, what about getting help to the perpetrators of the violence, as well as the influence that marketing drugs and alcohol to the queer community has on substance abuse, which directly relates to domestic violence.
Lunch
Kylynn and I went to an Irish pub near the Capitol and got Caesar Salads with Ranch, a beer(I had a Lakefront something or other from Milwaukee and she had a Guinness.) and decent conversation about the workshops we'd attended.
State Caucuses
I stopped into the Michigan one immediately to say hello to the crew from the now disbanded Michigan Campus Alliance, and then head over to Wisconsin's to make some connections with the Wisconsin kids as I'm moving there in May. We did introductions and then signed up for e-mail stuff. We then chatted for a bit and then I went back to Michigan as there was a lot of time left and I knew Michigan's caucus would need some voice as to what happened with the Michigan Campus Alliance and Kate might appreciate having me around.
The caucus could have gone better, and there was some talk of interest in creating a new statewide org, and I let them know I'd be willing to give them anything I may have and talk to them about it, but that I can't do that as MCA's fall took all the heart and soul I put into it down with it.
Building a Fair Wisconsin presented by Tim Ewing and Jeff Mayefske Workshop 4
I really wanted to attend this one to help catch me up to the political climate in Wisconsin so I am not starting from scratch when I move there because I haven't been paying attention to their politics. The major landmark things that I got from it was the Marriage Ban I already knew about from '06, but the new stuff was the Domestic Partnership legislation that went through in '09. I didn't much like the serious focus on marriage that pervaded the workshop, but they did talk about more then just marriage. I signed up for more information and will be looking into them more in-depth soon.
Smoke Break
Somewhere in here I took a smoke break and met Kayla, Kayla, and Chantelle from St. Cloud, and we had really good conversations about what was going on at the conference. Great connections I hope to hold on to for a long time.
For Hearing People Only presented by Kate Skarda and someone who replaced Amy Free Workshop 5
I was relatively disappointed by this presentation. Aside from Kate being exceptionally beautiful (though straight), it was just a recap of the things I've learned in my American Sign Language classes. They didn't discuss the intersection of Deaf community and Queer community whatsoever. I also doubt they even have any idea who Raymond Luczak is. Which is disappointing.
Dinner with Gail
I believe we at at a middle eastern restaurant. Kylynn, is that right? I had stuffed Chicken in some kind of berry sauce, and it only slightly upset my stomach, which was exciting. The atmosphere and service was absolutely fantastic though. I enjoy eating at a large table with my queer family members.
Keynote by Mia Mingus
This was prefaced with a statement by QPOC(Queer People of Color). They handed out fliers accusing the conference (aka their hometown and school) of being discriminatory to people of color, transgender people, and people with disabilities. There were some closed caucuses and workshops for QPOC, transgender issues, and disabilities.
Mia is a trans-national, trans-adoptee, queer woman with a disability. Her keynote spoke to the intersectionality of issues and our need to not fight exclusively for the things that directly impact us because nothing will be solved unless we come together with people of color, people who are disabled, people who have different experiences and different understandings, and are oppressed in one form or another. We need to give up our privilege because it is detracting from the privilege of others. It was a motivating keynote with a lot of insight. If you want to add more to this, please feel free. It's getting late and my brain is getting fried, but I'm almost done and want to finish. Drag Off
It was relatively impressive. There were somethings I just sort of shrugged at, and somethings I was particularly impressed with. "We both reached for the gun" and "Cell Block Tango" were both done by Drag King Troupes(really, they were Drag GenderFuck Troupes and it rocked) It was also nice to see Drag Kings en-force because as much Drag as I've seen, Kings aren't something I've really had an opportunity to watch.
Sunday, February 21
Why Bisexuality should matter to Lesbian and Gay People presented by Victor Raymond Workshop 6
My last workshop, again on bisexuality. (The amount of workshops on Bisexuality was good, but a lot of them were during the first session on Saturday, so I couldn't attend as many as I wanted to, which was disappointing.)
Victor was a fabulous presenter. My second epiphany came during this workshop. We went over a lot of really valuable information, mostly on the misconceptions of bisexuals. I'm going to list them and if you have questions, holler and I'll share more, or you can find it at biwisconsin.wordpress.net.
Misconceptions:
- Bisexuality is just a step toward becoming gay or lesbian
- Bisexuals are responsible for the transmission of HIV to straight people.
- Bisexuals are just like gays and lesbians
- Bisexuals are Sheep.
- Bisexuals are Mythical Beasts.
- Bisexuals and their long list of bad stereotypes.
I do want to touch on the Bisexuals and their long list of bad stereotypes, however. At the beginning of this workshop we wrote down a list of stereotypes of bisexuals(Promiscuous, spread STI's, horny, confused, indecisive, etc). We then went through this list, and found that every argument for each stereotype was also used against the gay and lesbian communities. It's almost like we're taking the conversations and letters we've received from people who do not support us and turned around and read them off to the bisexuals in our lives. And that's bullshit. Insert Epiphany Here.
Conference closing and Keynote by Kate Bornstein
Phenomenal. She spoke on intersectionality and her theories building off of post-modern theory. She introduced the word Kiryarchy to me. She also focused on the need to make life worth living, whatever the cost, just don't be mean and handed out "get out of hell free" cards. I hope to come back and add more to this later, but for now I'm going to wrap it up.
The main things I got from this entire experience is the need to reach out to other groups and offer to help them, rather then asking them for help. I also learned a lot more about privilege, able-ism, and Kiryarchy. The overarching feeling I had when I left the conference was humble. I was humbled this weekend, and it energized me. It helped me focus, and gave me motivation to learn and do the work that needs to be done.