Desire...
So, as most of you know, it has been a while since I've been in a serious relationship. I have these almost overwhelming feelings/desires. I feel this strong pull to connect with someone, to celebrate their joys, comfort their sorrows, share my own experiences. I want to have conversations about everything that passion has a hold of, I want to cuddle with her head against my chest and my arm around her shoulders. I want to kiss her forehead softly and fall asleep beside her. I want to run my hands along her skin and give her a massage she truly deserves, enjoying her comfort as a work my way through her back muscles. I want to kiss her comically and laugh at our carefree attitudes sometimes, and then I want to kiss her with all of the passion of my emotion, to show my love, respect, and caring through the energy behind my lips. I want to smell her scent on my pillow when she can't be near me, but take comfort in the fact that I will see her soon. I want to go through mundane daily tasks with her, like errand running and teeth brushing. I want to spend energy on things that will influence and cause the edges of her smile lift up to her eyes. I want to learn and grow comfortably together, to find challenges for us to work through together, to stimulate that growth. I want someone who will watch a documentary or read a book with me and then discuss it. I want to talk with her about things I don't know about in the world, and have her expand my world-view and understanding. I want to be hopelessly in love with her, but still find balance between being together and our own time and space. I want all of my amorous passion to have an outlet that it deserves, and that deserves it.
I don't know who she is, or when I will find her, or if it will all fall into place or require some work. I'm okay with working for it, I value it enough to work for it, in fact I might appreciate it more if I have to work for it. There have been some hopefuls over the last year, one more so then the rest, but none of them have panned out, for one reason or another. I know everything happens for a reason, but hope was left in Pandora's box, and I can't help myself, hoping that something extraordinary will come my way. I don't think this is a bad thing either. Kimberly called me the most charming and passionate person she's ever been with. It was a compliment I was not expecting, but feel proud of none-the-less. I believe I am a good catch, I just hope their's the right fisher out there for me.
On a related note, I stumbled across this, it's my Meyer's Brigg's personality type's relationship analysis. I think it is interesting and surprisingly dead on. There's more on the site, but this is the overview.
"ENTJs put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into their relationships. Since their major quest in life is to constantly take in knowledge and turn that into something useful, the ENTJ will try to turn everything into a learning experience. Within the context of relationships, that means they will constantly seek knowledge and revise the rules and definitions of their relationships. They value their relationships highly, especially those relationships which present them with new challenges and stimulate their learning. Such exchanges promote genuine affection and satisfaction for the ENTJ. Relationships which do not offer any chances for growth or learning hold no interest to the ENTJ. As in other areas of life, the ENTJ likes to be in charge of their relationships. In conversation, they are very direct and confrontational, and can be highly critical and challenging towards others. People involved in close relationships with the ENTJ need to have a good amount of personal strength. For those who do, the ENTJ has a tremendous amount to offer."
-http://www.personalitypage.com/ENTJ_rel.html
I don't know who she is, or when I will find her, or if it will all fall into place or require some work. I'm okay with working for it, I value it enough to work for it, in fact I might appreciate it more if I have to work for it. There have been some hopefuls over the last year, one more so then the rest, but none of them have panned out, for one reason or another. I know everything happens for a reason, but hope was left in Pandora's box, and I can't help myself, hoping that something extraordinary will come my way. I don't think this is a bad thing either. Kimberly called me the most charming and passionate person she's ever been with. It was a compliment I was not expecting, but feel proud of none-the-less. I believe I am a good catch, I just hope their's the right fisher out there for me.
On a related note, I stumbled across this, it's my Meyer's Brigg's personality type's relationship analysis. I think it is interesting and surprisingly dead on. There's more on the site, but this is the overview.
"ENTJs put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into their relationships. Since their major quest in life is to constantly take in knowledge and turn that into something useful, the ENTJ will try to turn everything into a learning experience. Within the context of relationships, that means they will constantly seek knowledge and revise the rules and definitions of their relationships. They value their relationships highly, especially those relationships which present them with new challenges and stimulate their learning. Such exchanges promote genuine affection and satisfaction for the ENTJ. Relationships which do not offer any chances for growth or learning hold no interest to the ENTJ. As in other areas of life, the ENTJ likes to be in charge of their relationships. In conversation, they are very direct and confrontational, and can be highly critical and challenging towards others. People involved in close relationships with the ENTJ need to have a good amount of personal strength. For those who do, the ENTJ has a tremendous amount to offer."
-http://www.personalitypage.com/ENTJ_rel.html