Fic: 'A Nearly Universe-Ending Combination
Man, I really need a Star Trek icon.
*****
Title: A Nearly Universe-Ending Combination
Author: Never
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Rating: Um…we’ll go with PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warning: Crack.
Summary: Remember that old TOS episode “The Enemy Within”? The one where Kirk is duplicated by the transporter? Well, add crack, shake, and serve.
Author’s Notes: The new Star Trek or whatever fandom is calling it. This is kinda how I see the episode “The Enemy Within” happening with this new group…if the writer was on crack. This is my first Star Trek fic ever, and therefore my first Kirk/Spock fic ever too! So much fun to write. Also, written for wtf27 challenge #21: Doppleganger
***
It actually starts with a transporter malfunction, but Kirk doesn't find that out until much later. Instead, for him at least, it starts at 0221 hours. In bed. Where he was having a good dream, dammit. A good dream about Spock doing all kinds of bad things.
Unfortunately, that sort of makes the problem worse.
***
Kirk is sprawled on his bed, possibly drooling, when a pair of arms wrap around him and pull him towards a very warm body. No problem, right? But. Jim went to bed alone last night.
...And that simple fact occurs to him only seconds after he snuggles into the warm body holding him.
Eyes suddenly wide, he jumps out of his bed, shouting, "Computer, lights!"
Now, under other circumstances, Spock in Jim's bed would be nice. Very nice. But remember, Kirk went to bed alone last night. And, equally important, Spock has never actually indicated that he wanted to join Jim in bed, which is a travesty, if you ask him. However, at this very moment, Jim is looking at pretty compelling evidence that Spock, in fact, does want to join Jim in bed. Huh.
"Is something troubling you, Jim?" Spock asks in his usual tone. Not really an obvious trace of...anything, but for some reason, Kirk has the feeling he's trying to be...enticing.
Jim blinks.
He blinks again.
Then the explanation hits him like a brick - he's still dreaming! Shaking his head, Kirk climbs back into his bed. "Wow, I must have been more tired than I thought." He glances over at Spock, who seems perfectly content to curl up with Jim the moment he lies back down. "I can't get over how real this feels. Huh."
With Kirk tucked back against his chest, Spock says, "You should go back to sleep, Jim."
Something about that strikes Jim as weird...well, weirder, but he's already falling asleep before he can think too much about it.
***
What happens next is a little embarrassing because Kirk prides himself on his response time to crisis situations. But when faced with this particular situation, he's a little lost.
And it shows.
***
Jim blinks at Spock, who is fresh from the bridge, still wearing his blue uniform.
Then, Jim turns slightly and blinks at Spock, who is fresh from Jim's bed, still wearing a plain black pair of pants and tunic.
And because the idea of two separate Spocks standing across from him in his quarters is so unlikely, Kirk glances back over at uniformed Spock. And blinks.
***
Luckily for all involved, things don't continue on like that.
See, after all the blinking at both Spocks, Jim starts poking them.
***
"Captain, if you'll permit me to-" uniformed Spock begins, but Kirk holds up a hand to stop whatever is about to come out.
First, Jim has to check something. He marches over to his ship-wide communicator, and asks Scotty a few questions.
"Uh, no, sir, we don't have a coolant leak," the Scot replies. It's clear in his tone that he has no idea why Kirk would ask.
"Any other hallucinogenic gases floating around the ship?" Kirk asks, just to be sure.
"...No, sir." There's a minute's hesitation, "...Should I contact Dr. McCoy for you?"
Jim glances back at the two Spocks, one glaring at the other in that subtle Vulcan way, and the other...well...undressing Jim with not-so-emotionless-Vulcan eyes would be the phrase that comes to mind. "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea."
***
Things don't actually get better when Bones arrives. It’s not that Jim doesn’t know how much his first officer and doctor don’t get along…he just doesn’t account for the fact that Bones and two Spocks is nearly a universe-ending combination.
The one good thing to come of the now-four-person fiasco in Jim's quarters is that at least he doesn't feel like he's losing his mind anymore.
That is, until one of the Spocks decides to take matters into his own hands.
And by 'matters', he means Jim.
***
"I advise you to unhand Captain Kirk," uniformed Spock states, never taking his eyes off his slightly more emotional counterpart. The same counterpart that currently has Jim trapped against his body. It seems that this new Spock has an impulse control problem that centers around Kirk.
Jim is nothing, if not shocked.
"I still don't understand what is going on here," Bones says, trying to scan both Spocks from with his medical tricorder. And to be honest, Jim doesn't know what to think about the fact that Bones is not the slightest bit worried that his friend is being held captive by a...a copy of his Vulcan first officer. But he knows it's not good.
"It is obvious, Doctor," uniformed Spock says, inching towards Kirk and the second Spock. "There is an imposter on board."
Kirk wants to fight his captor, but he apparently has some kind of mental block when it comes to hitting anyone who looks like Spock. Besides, he's quite happy where he is, nestled against the hard body of his commander.
"You are the impostor," says the Spock holding Jim.
Something flashes in uniformed Spock's eyes, and he makes his move.
***
...And that's when things really go down hill.
***
Kirk wakes up in sickbay with a grumpy Bones standing over him. "Did that really..." Jim gestures with his hand as he sits up.
"Yes," the doctor grouses. "And thank you so much for dragging me into it; not like I don't have enough to do with keeping this crew from dying from thousands of diseases without having to watch two green blooded hobgoblins fighting over you."
Fighting over him? Huh. "Where are they?"
"Well, while you were getting your beauty sleep, the rest of us were working. We found out that it was a transporter malfunction that duplicated that pointy-eared bastard; Mr. Scott has taken care of it."
"Just one Spock now?"
"Just one. Which is plenty. And the next time you decide to crawl into bed with that walking computer, leave me out of it! Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a couple’s therapist."
***
But it isn't finished yet. Oh no.
***
"So," Jim starts, "you like me." After today’s events, it isn’t a question.
Across from him stands Spock, impassive as always. "As I have just stated."
Smirking, Kirk continues, "You like me a lot."
"So it would appear."
"Huh."
end
*****
Title: A Nearly Universe-Ending Combination
Author: Never
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Rating: Um…we’ll go with PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warning: Crack.
Summary: Remember that old TOS episode “The Enemy Within”? The one where Kirk is duplicated by the transporter? Well, add crack, shake, and serve.
Author’s Notes: The new Star Trek or whatever fandom is calling it. This is kinda how I see the episode “The Enemy Within” happening with this new group…if the writer was on crack. This is my first Star Trek fic ever, and therefore my first Kirk/Spock fic ever too! So much fun to write. Also, written for wtf27 challenge #21: Doppleganger
***
It actually starts with a transporter malfunction, but Kirk doesn't find that out until much later. Instead, for him at least, it starts at 0221 hours. In bed. Where he was having a good dream, dammit. A good dream about Spock doing all kinds of bad things.
Unfortunately, that sort of makes the problem worse.
***
Kirk is sprawled on his bed, possibly drooling, when a pair of arms wrap around him and pull him towards a very warm body. No problem, right? But. Jim went to bed alone last night.
...And that simple fact occurs to him only seconds after he snuggles into the warm body holding him.
Eyes suddenly wide, he jumps out of his bed, shouting, "Computer, lights!"
Now, under other circumstances, Spock in Jim's bed would be nice. Very nice. But remember, Kirk went to bed alone last night. And, equally important, Spock has never actually indicated that he wanted to join Jim in bed, which is a travesty, if you ask him. However, at this very moment, Jim is looking at pretty compelling evidence that Spock, in fact, does want to join Jim in bed. Huh.
"Is something troubling you, Jim?" Spock asks in his usual tone. Not really an obvious trace of...anything, but for some reason, Kirk has the feeling he's trying to be...enticing.
Jim blinks.
He blinks again.
Then the explanation hits him like a brick - he's still dreaming! Shaking his head, Kirk climbs back into his bed. "Wow, I must have been more tired than I thought." He glances over at Spock, who seems perfectly content to curl up with Jim the moment he lies back down. "I can't get over how real this feels. Huh."
With Kirk tucked back against his chest, Spock says, "You should go back to sleep, Jim."
Something about that strikes Jim as weird...well, weirder, but he's already falling asleep before he can think too much about it.
***
What happens next is a little embarrassing because Kirk prides himself on his response time to crisis situations. But when faced with this particular situation, he's a little lost.
And it shows.
***
Jim blinks at Spock, who is fresh from the bridge, still wearing his blue uniform.
Then, Jim turns slightly and blinks at Spock, who is fresh from Jim's bed, still wearing a plain black pair of pants and tunic.
And because the idea of two separate Spocks standing across from him in his quarters is so unlikely, Kirk glances back over at uniformed Spock. And blinks.
***
Luckily for all involved, things don't continue on like that.
See, after all the blinking at both Spocks, Jim starts poking them.
***
"Captain, if you'll permit me to-" uniformed Spock begins, but Kirk holds up a hand to stop whatever is about to come out.
First, Jim has to check something. He marches over to his ship-wide communicator, and asks Scotty a few questions.
"Uh, no, sir, we don't have a coolant leak," the Scot replies. It's clear in his tone that he has no idea why Kirk would ask.
"Any other hallucinogenic gases floating around the ship?" Kirk asks, just to be sure.
"...No, sir." There's a minute's hesitation, "...Should I contact Dr. McCoy for you?"
Jim glances back at the two Spocks, one glaring at the other in that subtle Vulcan way, and the other...well...undressing Jim with not-so-emotionless-Vulcan eyes would be the phrase that comes to mind. "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea."
***
Things don't actually get better when Bones arrives. It’s not that Jim doesn’t know how much his first officer and doctor don’t get along…he just doesn’t account for the fact that Bones and two Spocks is nearly a universe-ending combination.
The one good thing to come of the now-four-person fiasco in Jim's quarters is that at least he doesn't feel like he's losing his mind anymore.
That is, until one of the Spocks decides to take matters into his own hands.
And by 'matters', he means Jim.
***
"I advise you to unhand Captain Kirk," uniformed Spock states, never taking his eyes off his slightly more emotional counterpart. The same counterpart that currently has Jim trapped against his body. It seems that this new Spock has an impulse control problem that centers around Kirk.
Jim is nothing, if not shocked.
"I still don't understand what is going on here," Bones says, trying to scan both Spocks from with his medical tricorder. And to be honest, Jim doesn't know what to think about the fact that Bones is not the slightest bit worried that his friend is being held captive by a...a copy of his Vulcan first officer. But he knows it's not good.
"It is obvious, Doctor," uniformed Spock says, inching towards Kirk and the second Spock. "There is an imposter on board."
Kirk wants to fight his captor, but he apparently has some kind of mental block when it comes to hitting anyone who looks like Spock. Besides, he's quite happy where he is, nestled against the hard body of his commander.
"You are the impostor," says the Spock holding Jim.
Something flashes in uniformed Spock's eyes, and he makes his move.
***
...And that's when things really go down hill.
***
Kirk wakes up in sickbay with a grumpy Bones standing over him. "Did that really..." Jim gestures with his hand as he sits up.
"Yes," the doctor grouses. "And thank you so much for dragging me into it; not like I don't have enough to do with keeping this crew from dying from thousands of diseases without having to watch two green blooded hobgoblins fighting over you."
Fighting over him? Huh. "Where are they?"
"Well, while you were getting your beauty sleep, the rest of us were working. We found out that it was a transporter malfunction that duplicated that pointy-eared bastard; Mr. Scott has taken care of it."
"Just one Spock now?"
"Just one. Which is plenty. And the next time you decide to crawl into bed with that walking computer, leave me out of it! Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a couple’s therapist."
***
But it isn't finished yet. Oh no.
***
"So," Jim starts, "you like me." After today’s events, it isn’t a question.
Across from him stands Spock, impassive as always. "As I have just stated."
Smirking, Kirk continues, "You like me a lot."
"So it would appear."
"Huh."
end