Fic: 'Richardson, Or Thereabouts' (2/3)
Part 1 | Part 3
***
They’re down from the tree and quietly making their way through the woods, keeping an eye out for their unwanted guests. And wait. Where is Jared going? Jensen jogs over to cut him off. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Jared’s forehead crinkles. “Back to the house.”
“You’re kidding, right? Did you forget that we were just chased into the woods by the Air Force?”
“And did you forget that we left my dogs?”
“We still can’t go back there.”
“I’m not just gonna leave them!”
Growling, Jensen looks away. He’s got to think of something because Jared’s right. They can’t leave Sadie and Harley there with those Air Force guys. He turns his attention back to Jared, “Is there someone you can call to come pick them up?”
Jared’s mouth puckers slightly while he thinks, and yeah. Jensen has to look away again. “Chad! I can call Chad.”
“Okay,” he nods. “We need to get to a pay phone and then you can call Chad. After that, we’ve got to find some place to stay the night.”
It’s several minutes after they’re moving again that Jared comments, “You’re pretty good at this whole ‘hiding from the authorities thing.’”
He shrugs. “You did alright back there.” At the face Jared gives him, Jensen sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t think that’s what you meant. I just. I’ve told you all I can, okay?” Not for the first time, Jensen wishes he could tell Jared everything. Or better yet, he wishes that he was just a normal guy, but he’s not. And therein lies the problem.
The silence that follows is long and uncomfortable, and Jensen really hates it.
***
“After I call Chad, I have to call Jeff,” Jared says as they make their way through the woods in the wee hours of the morning.
Jensen stops dead in his tracks because he couldn’t have heard right. There’s no way Jared is that stupid. “What?”
“I need to know if Jeff is okay.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s not. Jared, how do you think they found us?”
Jared looks affronted. “Jeff would never turn me in!”
Holding up a placating hand, Jensen immediately assures, “I’m sure he wouldn’t. But if they found you, they know he helped me escape. There’s not going to be any reaching him.”
He turns to Jensen with an expression that tears him up inside. So Jensen does the only thing he can do: he rests his hand on Jared’s shoulder and says, “Come on. Let’s get the dogs taken care of, then we’ll figure out what to do about Jeff. But we’ve got to keep moving if we’re going to be any help to him.”
The relieved smile on Jared’s face is totally worth all the trouble they’re going to get into.
“You’re not that bad…for someone who thinks he’s an alien.”
At least it looks like Jared’s joking around again. “I don’t think I’m anything.”
“Sure, E.T. You wanna phone home?”
“Laugh it up, sasquatch.”
***
They walk for hours through the woods, avoiding homes and roads until they reach the edge of town. The two of them keep to the shadows as Jared leads Jensen to a pay phone in the town square.
“So, who’s this Chad guy?” Jensen asks.
Beside him, Jared is digging deep in his pockets for change. His voice is a little distracted, his focus on counting the few coins in his palm. “Um. An old college buddy. He lives not too far from here. Ah! Just enough!” Triumphant, he inserts the coins and dials. “Chad, man, sorry to wa-” he breaks off with a disgusted noise. “Ugh. Dude, I didn’t need to know that…yeah, yeah, I know. Hey listen, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to come pick up Sadie and Harley and take them back to your place….suck it up, man, I need your help. Yeah, I’ll explain later. Thanks.” He hangs up and turns to Jensen. “Okay, so now what?”
Good question.
***
“You sure about this guy?” Jensen asks. He feels it’s a pretty valid question seeing as they’re hiding behind a row of bushes scoping out the guy’s house.
Jared nods. “Yeah, Chris is a good guy. Added bonus is that he’d intimidate anyone that came knocking on his door, including the men in black.”
“If this guy is so good, why didn’t you ask him to pick up Harley and Sadie?”
“Chris is about to leave town, so I would have just had to call Chad tomorrow as opposed to tonight.”
“Okay, well, we still can’t just go hide out with one of your friends.”
Shaking his head, he turns to Jensen. “No one would think to look for me here. Trust me, anyone who knows me would assume I’d run to Chad’s. We should be perfectly safe with Chris.”
“Alright. Let’s give it a few more minutes and if it’s still quiet, we’ll go up to the backdoor.”
“Can’t you just check it out with your freaky alien powers?”
Jensen’s head whips around to stare at Jared. “My what? I don’t have any freaky alien powers.”
“Seriously?” And it kills Jensen that Jared sounds genuinely surprised. “Man, that sucks. You’re a pretty lame alien.”
“I’m not a lame a-…you know what? Fine.”
Now Jared’s grinning as he shakes his head. “Don’t get pissy with me just because you’re a lame alien with no superpowers.”
Jensen has to turn away so Jared won’t see the smile he’s trying - and failing - to hide.
***
The two of them make their way up to Chris’s backdoor, bickering quietly.
Jared whispers, “We have to tell Chris what’s going on. It’s not fair for us to bring him into this without telling him everything.”
“Like I did with you?”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Jared immediately protests.
“Whatever. But can you honestly tell me that if we tell him I’m hiding from the Air Force, he’s going to let me into his house?”
“Yeah.”
Jensen shakes his head. “People don’t do that, Jared. I can’t be sure that he won’t turn me away, or worse, turn me in.”
Jared’s jaw literally drops. “He wouldn’t turn you in! He’s my friend and he’ll help us, I swear.”
He looks so sincere that Jensen takes a minute to consider it. If Chris turns him away, he just has to keep running, and he’s done that enough to be okay. If Chris turns him in…well, Jared says that’s not going to happen, and Jensen wants to believe him. He’ll just have to be on his guard, just in case. “Okay. Let’s knock.”
Jared’s beaming at him as he knocks on the backdoor, and seconds later, a guy with kinda long dark hair is watching them with narrowed eyes.
“Jared,” the guys - who Jensen assumes is Chris - says while his eyes roam freely over Jensen’s entire body, “you brought me a present. You shouldn’t have…not that I’m complaining, mind.”
Jensen leans back slightly and glances over to Jared, who’s wearing an expression that’s a mix of scared, angry, and ‘I just ate something sour’, and Jensen has no idea how to interpret that. At least until Jared shifts over so that he’s between Chris and Jensen - he even reaches back to grab hold of Jensen’s arm in a gesture that screams ‘MINE!’ so loudly that Jensen can’t help but smile. Jared’s jealous.
Chris laughs as he opens the door wider. “I get it, he’s yours and I won’t touch. Now, come on in.”
Now that Jared doesn’t appear to see Chris as a threat, he steps aside again, flushing. Jensen tries to catch his eye, but Jared keeps his gaze on the ground. “Thanks, man. Um. Chris, this is Jensen, and we need a place to stay tonight.”
“I’ve got the spare bedroom and the couch, if you two want to sleep separate.” He leers at Jensen again. “Can’t imagine why you’d want to, though.”
Jared’s eyes whip up to glare at Chris, who bursts out laughing again. “Easy tiger, I said I wouldn’t touch. Now get your asses in here before I change my mind.”
Oh yeah. Jensen likes Chris.
***
“So,” Chris begins, “let me get this straight. Jensen here escaped from the Air Force and now they’re after him. They found him at your place, Jared, and then you brought him to my place thinking that the two of you could hide here. Right?”
Wow, the whole situation does not sound very fair to Chris when put that way. However, Jared doesn’t seem to agree since he’s nodding innocently back.
“And why is the Air Force after pretty boy here?” Chris asks.
Oh please, don’t let Jared say he’s an alien. If there is any goodness in the world, he won’t say Jensen’s an alien.
Jared opens his mouth to say, “See, Jensen is-”
And Jensen isn’t willing to take the risk. “They think I know about something I don’t. It’s all basically a big misunderstanding, but they aren’t really letting me explain it, so.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal, ignoring Jared shifting beside him.
Chris’s gaze darts between Jared and Jensen a moment before he shrugs too. “Whatever you say. Sure you two can stay as long as you need to. Condoms are in the bedside table, and I’m pretty sure there’s lube in there too. Just don’t get any jizz on the bed, if you can help it.”
Beside him, Jared’s face is beet red, and though Jensen’s not much better off, he still cracks up.
***
“I’m not,” Jared stutters once they’re alone in the bedroom. “I mean. I just. I wouldn’t. Chris. He’s…” His entire body is tense and Jensen’s worried that his muscles are going to snap just from standing there.
Jensen smiles at him. “Jared, man, calm down.”
“I just don’t want you thinking that I…that I would…”
He nods. “I know. Don’t worry. Let’s just get some sleep, alright? I’m beat and I’m sure you are too.” At Jared’s emphatic nod, Jensen asks, “Share the bed?”
“I don’t know.” Jared scratches the back of his neck as he shifts from one foot to the other.
Jensen holds up a hand in a peaceful gesture. “Hey man, I saw the couch and it doesn’t look like it could hold either of us. At least not comfortably. And I don’t mind sharing if you don’t.”
He hesitates for a moment, clearly considering which would be a worse fate, before nodding. Instantly, he seems to relax, which in turn, makes Jensen breath a sigh of relief. That is, until Jared starts to take off his shirt. Then Jensen has to turn away quickly before he sees too much to go to sleep beside Jared without wanting to touch and rub and caress.
Jensen takes off his own shirt and shucks his pants, crawling into the double bed without looking at Jared even once. It requires much more willpower than Jensen thought he had left, but he manages. Behind him, he can hear Jared climb into the bed and get comfortable. In fact, he can hear every movement that Jared makes. The old groan of the bed as he turns over. His skin sliding against the sheets as he pulls them over his body. Soft sighs of comfort when he settles in.
It’s going to be a long night.
***
With bleary eyes and dry drool at the corner of his mouth, Jensen meanders into the kitchen late the next morning. And the only reason he manages that is the enticing aroma of coffee leading the way.
“Mmmm,” he hums, happily accepting the mug Jared laughingly hands to him.
“Dude, did you get any sleep last night?” Jared asks.
No, he didn’t. Because Jared was lying a few, mere inches away, in some state of undress that Jensen wasn’t brave enough to check out, and if that wasn’t a recipe for a sleepless night, Jensen doesn’t know what is. “Eh.”
“Well, I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep either, but I think I still look better than you.”
Jensen flips him off, then sits down at the kitchen table drink his coffee.
Jared plops down across from him, asking, “So what do we do now?”
He downs his cup in three swallows. “Get more coffee.” And he does.
“I meant about Jeff. How are we going to help him?”
Jensen scrubs a hand over his face, making sure to wipe all of the crusted drool off, before he sits back down with a fresh mug of coffee. “Why do you think I know?”
“Don’t you have experience with this?”
“…No. I’ve never tried to break into an Air Force bunker to rescue someone who had just rescued me from said bunker and then managed to get the two of us out without being noticed. So this is a new one on me.”
“What kind of al-”
Jensen interrupts, his free hand pointing at Jared, “Don’t say it.”
“Okay. But we still need to figure out a way to help Jeff.”
And to get Jensen’s ship back, dammit.
“What if I pretend, like, I’m bringing you back in as a prisoner? That works all the time in the movies.”
Jensen needs more coffee for this. “Which is why I don’t think that it will work for us. Besides, if anyone brings me back in, they’ll take me right to my cell and strap me back down on that damn bed, and there’s no way in hell I’m doing that.” Huh. He hadn’t really wanted that to slip out, and he’s not really sure how Jared’s going to respond.
He blinks, then leans back a little. His expression is soft and understanding, which makes Jensen stare down into his mug. “Okay. So, Plan A is out. What’s Plan B?”
Jensen definitely needs more coffee.
***
“You watch way too many movies, you know that right?” Jensen asks.
Across the table from him, Jared just shrugs and licks his fingers, which is way more distracting than it has any right to be. “Okay, so…scratch Plan P. Plan Q…”
“If the words: I saw it in a movie, TV show, book, or any variation thereof, come out of your mouth, I’m going to very calmly use this butter knife to stab you.” He figures it’s only polite to hold up the knife in question.
“Well, I don’t hear you coming up with any ideas!”
“I haven’t had a chance to think with you constantly suggesting we use poor plot devices from B movies!”
“Hey!” Chris’ rough voice calls from his bedroom. “Shut up out there! I’m trying to sleep!”
“It’s almost four in the afternoon, lazy ass!” Jared shouts back.
A second later, the bedroom door that had been open all day is slammed shut. Jensen can’t stop himself from laughing, but doesn’t feel bad since Jared’s chuckling too.
***
“Why does he even have a butter knife? Because he doesn’t really seem like the type,” Jensen comments.
Jared’s smiling when he replies, “I don’t know, but that’s not going to stop me from making fun of him for it.”
“You’re such a sweetheart.”
“You know it.”
Yeah. Yeah, he does.
“You two laugh it up,” Chris says as he finally joins them at the kitchen table. “The butter knife is an important utensil. Often overlooked in daily life.”
“I cannot believe those words just came out of your mouth. You are such a girl.” And yeah, Jensen doesn’t really blame Chris for punching Jared in the shoulder for that.
“So what have you two been yapping about all day?” Chris asks.
Jensen awkwardly shifts in his seat. He doesn’t want to give Chris too much information, but he knows Jared’s opinion on that. Might as well let Jared take this one.
And he does. “We’re trying to figure out what to do now.”
Chris glances between the two of them. “What are the options?”
Jared’s eyes focus on Jensen when he answers, “We don’t know.”
“What I do know,” Jensen speaks up, “is that we can’t stay here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Even if you think no one will link you to Chris, that will only buy us a little time. The Air Force is going to start knocking on every door in this town pretty soon. They won’t give up looking for me. It’s better if we keep moving.” Jensen wonders if Jared’s really thought about the implications of running with him. Judging by the way Jared’s eyes fall to the table and his teeth worry his lower lip, Jensen’s guessing not. “Look. I appreciate all the help you’ve given me so far. I wouldn’t still be breathing free air if it weren’t for you. Hell, I may not even be alive if it weren’t for you. You’ve done more than enough. I can make my own way from here. I’ll do everything I can to help Jeff. You keep out of sight for a few weeks, and everything will get back to normal soon enough.”
Now Jared’s lips form a thin line and he glares across the table at Jensen. “If you even think about suggesting that we split up again, I’ll take your butter knife and stab you right back. We’re in this together. I’ve already assaulted Air Force officers, so they’re not going to let me go free and clear. Besides, I have to help Jeff too, so just forget about dumping me. Got it?”
Okay, that didn’t go how he thought it would. Numbly, he nods. “We still don’t know what we’re going to do now, though.”
“You two can tag along with me,” Chris volunteers.
“Really?”
Jared looks way too excited about that for Jensen’s peace of mind. “Tag along? What are you doing?”
“Me and Steve are about to go on tour. Nothing fancy, just a few states. You two can come along. That way you stay on the road and the bad guys can’t find you.”
“What would we do?”
“Jolly Green Giant over here,” he nods towards Jared, “can’t carry a tune in a bucket, so he’ll just be muscle. But you…?” Chris’s already narrow eyes narrow even further as he studies Jensen. “Can you sing?”
He blinks. “Uh. A little, but-”
“Great. You’ll be our backup.”
…What?
***
This couldn’t be happening. There’s no way that he was actually going along with this. This whole crazy scheme has FAILURE written all over it. Along with other even more interesting words like DISCOVERY and CAPTURE. What the hell is he thinking?
Jensen glances over to Jared, who is perfectly content to load up Steve’s van with case after case. What the hell is Jared thinking? The guy looks ecstatic with this plan. The very plan that is going to wave a giant red flag in the face of the U.S. Air Force. He might as well just walk right back into the bunker and lay himself down on that damn cot.
…Jensen is going to be sick.
***
“Hey, man,” Jared lightly slaps him on the back. Not the best idea since Jensen is hovering over the toilet, but apparently little details like that don’t occur to Jared. “We’re all packed up and Steve and Chris are waiting in the van. You ready to go?”
“I don’t think we should do this.” Jensen’s shaking his head, which is only making him more nauseous. He really needs to stop that.
“Jen, we already talked about this. What else are we going to do?”
“But. Chris wants me to sing! He wants me to be up on stage. With him. Where anyone can see me. Don’t you think that’s the complete opposite of hiding?”
“You’ll be hiding in plain sight.”
“That’s easy for you to say; you’re not the one who was strapped down on a cot for days!”
Jared’s hand immediately starts rubbing soothing circles on Jensen’s back. “Jen, I’m not going to let them get their hands on you again. I promise. No matter what, we can’t stay here. You said so yourself. Chris is offering to get us out of here, and I say we take him up on it. If you really don’t want to be up on stage, you can opt out of it. But either way, we have to get moving.” He waits until he sees Jensen nod. “Okay. Come on, let’s get going.”
He helps Jensen straighten, then throws an arm around Jensen’s shoulder. And yeah, his nausea is already receding, but he still leans pretty heavily into Jared’s side all the same.
***
Four hours on the road and Jensen still thinks this may well be the biggest mistake he’s ever made. However, he can’t seem to make himself care because he’s in the back of Steve’s van with Jared, who is all grins and dimples and sparkling eyes. Jared keeps touching him. Intentional slaps to the back or nudges or tickles. But even more distracting are the accidental ones when Jared’s thigh brushes up against Jensen’s because the sasquatch is just too tall to be contained in such a small space. Or when he reaches over to offer Jensen some of his candy and their fingers barely brush each other.
Steve and Chris are in the front seat, mostly keeping to themselves, but every now and then they talk to Jared and Jensen. For the most part, Jensen has Jared entirely to himself, which on some basic level feels right. Like that’s exactly how it’s meant to be, and Jensen just doesn’t have the time or the inclination to examine that one.
Some things, he figures, a man is not supposed to know about himself.
***
Chris doesn’t look back when he throws a rubber-banded stack of papers over his shoulder in Jensen’s general direction. “There’s the music. Learn it. We’ll be at the bar in two hours and you’re going on with us tonight.”
While Jensen stares at the back of Chris’ head, Jared oh so helpfully picks up the music, releases it from the rubber band, and sets it in Jensen’s lap.
“Come on, Jen,” Jared elbows him. “Give it a try.”
Sighing, he looks down at the sheet on top and reads the words, imagining the rhythm in his head.
“Out loud so we can hear you!” Chris orders, still not even glancing back at him.
Jensen’s eyes dart over to meet Jared’s, unconsciously drawing strength from the smiling giant. He takes a breath, then sings the first word of a song he doesn’t even know the title of, and just keeps going. When he’s finished, he thinks Chris and Steve know what they’re doing because the song’s pretty good.
But then he looks up, and he thinks, maybe he’s pretty good too because Jared is beaming back at him like he just single-handedly saved Christmas.
“Knew you’d be good, son,” Chris says. And Jensen manages to tear his eyes away from Jared to look over at Chris, who has finally turned around to look at him. “Now get back to work. Got a lot of songs for you to learn.” Just like that, he turns back as if nothing has happened, but Jared is still beaming and there’s just no chance that he’s going to be able to concentrate on these songs while Jared’s smiling at him like that.
***
“I can’t do this.” Jensen shakes his head back and forth to emphasize his point to Chris, who’s standing in front of him, obviously not listening. “This was a stupid idea.”
If Chris takes offense to that, he doesn’t show it. He simply grabs hold of Jensen’s shoulders when he tries to back away, and says, “You’re doing it. Get your ass on that stage.”
“I-I can’t. I can’t let them find me. I can’t go back there!”
Chris gives him one good shake to get Jensen’s attention. “People never notice what’s right in front of them.” Then he nods his head towards Jared, who’s helping Steve set up the stage. “Case in point.”
Huh?
“Now you’re going to take a deep breath, and you’re going to get up on that stage and sing backup for me and Steve. And if we’re all really lucky, afterwards you’ll tell Jared to jump your ass and put us all out of our misery.”
He’s not one hundred percent certain, but Jensen’s pretty confident that his eyes are taking up half his face at the moment. And he doesn’t know if Chris just doesn’t care that he dropped that bombshell, or if the singer’s got something better to do, but the man just smirks and walks off.
At least one good thing comes from the conversation: he’s too preoccupied thinking about Jared jumping his ass that he doesn’t have time to pick apart Chris’s logic. Therefore, he winds up on the stage of some medium-sized, smoky bar with Jared standing just a few feet away, grinning at Jensen like Jensen’s the answer to all his prayers.
And Jensen keeps singing along, his eyes never straying far or long from Jared, because he wants to keep up the illusion that he’s only singing for him.
***
Apparently it’s tradition to sleep the first night of the tour in the van. Jensen thinks that’s a load of shit, but seeing as Chris and Steve thought of it and Jared’s still too busy going on and on about how great Jensen was on stage to care what everyone else is talking about, Jensen is, unfortunately, outvoted.
He ends up sleeping between Jared and Chris, which is partially really great and partially hell on earth.
Chris isn’t that bad except for the look he gives Jensen just before going to sleep. The look that very clearly said, ‘Jared’s right there, so get busy…just keep it down.’ But that’s it, so overall, sleeping beside Chris isn’t that bad.
The main problem lies with Jared. See, Jared is a furnace, which is pretty damn nice since it’s so cold outside. He also has this soft snore that Jensen refuses to admit that he finds the slightest bit cute. And to top it all off, Jared? Is a cuddler. All very good, but at the same time, all very bad.
Jensen has to remember that he’s not going to be here much longer. He’s going to get his ship, repair it, and get the hell out of here. And if not that, he just has to get to his ship, because he enabled the distress beacon while he was going down, so he knows help is on the way. He simply needs to be near the beacon when the time comes and he’ll be rescued. He’ll be back with his own people and this will all just be a memory. Stories to tell friends strictly for entertainment purposes.
So yeah. All he needs to remember is that this is temporary. He and Jared have absolutely no future. Hell, Jared is even going to unknowingly help him get back to his ship so that he can go home.
If nothing else will drive the point home, that will.
He can have no ties to anyone here.
No ties.
No worries.
No sweat.
***
Chris is a demon. Jensen’s almost positive. There’s no other explanation for the way he kicked Jensen in the ass to wake him up when he was sleeping so peacefully wrapped up in Jared’s arms. It’s not like Chris and Steve actually needed them to wake up before they got on the road. Chris is just an evil bastard. Enough said.
Jared, on the other hand, has no problem being woken up. He doesn’t even flush in embarrassment like Jensen does when both Steve and Chris stare at them curled up together. Jared just flashes his dimples and pulls Jensen closer so that he has to spread his legs to make room between his thighs for Jared’s left leg.
And yeah. The problem with that doesn’t even bear explaining.
“Don’t let us stop you,” Steve says. Beside him, Chris is smirking.
Jared, the bastard, settles his enormous hands on Jensen’s lower back and winks. “We won’t.”
Then he darts towards Jensen and kisses him.
Shit.
***
Jensen is so fucked.
They’re all cleaned up - thank you gas station bathroom! - and back in the van, driving to the next city and it is dead. Silent.
Chris and Steve are doing a real good job of pretending like there is absolutely no one in the backseat. Jensen just wishes he could too. Because beside him is Jared.
Jared, who keeps shifting. Jared, who keeps nervously playing with his hands. Jared, who keeps staring at Jensen for minutes on end, then looks away for an instant just to immediately go back to staring!
It doesn’t help that Jensen is hyperaware of him. He can feel Jared’s eyes on him. Hell, he can feel Jared thinking about him. In fact, Jensen is so focused on Jared that he knows the precise second Jared’s going to break the silence.
“Jen, I’m. About this morning…”
“It’s fine,” he says, wincing when it sounds a little snappy.
Jared winces too, dammit. “I just,” he tries again. “I really like you. I understand that…” He trails off as he glances up at Steve and Chris who are still studiously ignoring everything going on behind them. When he starts talking again, he’s whispering, “I know that you’re probably going back to your home planet soon, but-”
Ugh, please not the lame alien thing again. At least the tension is broken now. Rolling his eyes, Jensen turns to Jared. “I don’t want to start something when I’m not going to be here long.”
Even as Jared’s nodding, he looks…disappointed. “I still want to try, though. I don’t care if it’s only for a short time; I want to see what happens. Please. It doesn’t have to be anything big and serious. Just. Just us. Together.”
And he looks so hopeful. A cautious smile forming on his lips, encouraging his dimples to come out of hiding.
Why can’t they enjoy the time they have? Jensen will be gone soon enough, and he doesn’t want to regret not trying this. He genuinely likes Jared, and if they both understand that nothing serious will happen between them, why can’t Jensen let himself enjoy this? Decision made, he lets the corner of his mouth tip up. “Okay.”
As if he doesn’t want to give Jensen the opportunity to change his mind, Jared grabs Jensen’s face and holds him still for another kiss. This time, he licks along the seam of Jensen’s full lips, coaxing them open. Then suddenly, Jensen’s feeling Jared’s tongue slide along inside his mouth. Tasting him.
And he realizes something: he never stood a chance.
***
“’Bout damn time you put that boy out of his misery,” Chris comments to Jensen when they stop at the next gas station. The two of them are perusing the snack aisle while Steve fills up the van and Jared meanders through the candy section.
But it looks like Chris isn’t finished yet. “Watching that boy drool after you for two days was plenty for me. Don’t even want to think about what it was like with just the two of you up in his cabin. Sniffing around each other but neither of you taking what you want.”
Yeah, thinking about all the time wasted up there isn’t really what Jensen wants to concentrate on either. Instead, he grabs a bag of Doritos and heads over to find Jared looking back and forth between a bag of twizzlers and a giant bag of skittles.
“Twizzlers,” Jensen says, grabbing it out of Jared’s hands an instant before he steals a kiss too. What? He’s making up for all the time they’ve lost. Not like they’ve got a lot left, but Jensen’s actively not thinking about that, so.
Jared drops the skittles, then wraps his arms around Jensen, pressing his lips against Jensen’s ear to ask, “You going to be my sugar daddy from another planet?”
“If I say yes, will you stop saying I’m a lame alien with no cool superpowers?”
“Well, you wouldn’t be a lame alien anymore - you’d be my intergalactic sugar daddy.”
Laughing, Jensen shakes his head. “Whatever. But actually, I don’t have any money, so you are going to have to be my sugar daddy.”
“Ugh, you are a lame alien from a whole planet of lame aliens. Didn’t they give you any spending money? How were you supposed to infiltrate the human race if you didn’t have any money?”
“Didn’t exactly plan on crashing.”
Jared nudges Jensen towards the counter with an arm around his shoulders. “Well, I’m kinda glad you did.”
Maybe Jensen was kinda glad too. Just a little.
***
Another night and another bar with another stage. Since Jensen’s been singing backup for Steve and Chris for almost two weeks now, he’s pretty much accepted that he’s never going to get out of singing with them.
That doesn’t stop him from panicking every night before going on, though.
Usually Jared’s the one to talk Jensen out of his hysterics and get him on the stage. And Jared accomplishes this through various methods, but the typical fallback is to use the ‘it hasn’t happened yet’ logic, which Jensen thinks is just bullshit. However, that’s not their only method for convincing Jensen to go on. Steve had to talk him out of the bathroom before the third show. Jared’s bribed him once or twice with sex…once they finally stop at a damn motel, that is, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to do anything other than kiss Jared while Steve and Chris are pretending to sleep not two feet away. And only once did Chris have to slap him, thank you.
Judging by the looks that the others exchange, Jensen’s pretty sure this is going to be another ‘bribe with sex’ night. Jared moves forward with his hands up, like he’s trying to corral Jensen against the back corner beside the stage.
Jensen can barely see Steve and Chris setting up over Jared’s shoulder before the whole world is blocked out by Jared’s overpowering frame.
“Jen, you’ve done this before,” he starts, “you can do it again, no problem.”
His arguments haven’t worked once in the past two weeks, but that doesn’t mean they might not start. Shaking his head, Jensen responds, “Jared, I’m setting myself up to get caught! Anyone can see me when I’m up there, and they could turn me in! I don’t have any type of weapon. I don’t have a defensible position. They’d take me in a heartbeat.”
“Okay, we’ll take this one part at a time.” The bastard even counts them off on his hands. “One, you’ve done this for almost two weeks and no men in black have come knocking on the van door yet.”
“Yet.”
Jared continues on as if Jensen hadn’t said a word. “Two, no one is going to turn you in because no one knows the government is looking for you. No wanted posters. No announcements on the news. Nothing.”
“Yeah, but they aren’t going to want to draw attention to themselves. And they’ve got spies everywhere. They’re sneaky like that.”
And talking right over him is Jared. “Three, you are not vulnerable. You don’t need weapons, you have us. We’re constantly on the road. No one back home knows we’re with Chris and Steve, so no one can tell the men in black. And I promise, the three of us won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Jare-“
“Four, you are a great singer and you belong up on that stage. So get that cute little ass up there and do your thing.”
“But-”
“No. You had your chance to opt out of singing, but you blew it. The first time you got up on that stage and sang, you spoiled me. So now I demand as your soon-to-be human lover that you get up there and sing for me. And if you do, we might be able to talk Steve and Chris into stopping at a real motel. Just think, Jen. Our own room. Our own bed. Think of all the fun we could have.”
That’s just not fair. Jensen’s mind is glazing over just imagining what could go on behind a motel door with Steve and Chris nowhere in sight. He leans heavily onto the wall, acutely aware of how Jared’s leaning in closer. Crowding him with pure bulk. Unconsciously, Jensen stares at Jared’s lips while licking his own, and that seems to be enough to get Jared’s attention.
Suddenly Jared’s on him from lips to thighs. What meager distance had been between them is now gone, and that works just fine for Jensen. Really.
That is, until someone clears their throat. “You two finished yet? Because we do have a show to do, in case you forgot.”
Chris just climbed to the very top of Jensen’s shit list.
Groaning, Jared pulls himself away, his eyes lingering on Jensen’s lips and just how is he supposed to let Jared go when he’s looking at him like that?
He’s half tempted to pull Jared back to him, forget the show and Chris and whoever else is watching them. But then Jared shakes his head minutely and Jensen slumps against the wall.
“Dammit. Let’s get this over with.”
***
That night, Jared and Chris aren’t exactly secretive about what they’re discussing. Steve and Jensen are loading the van back up with the other two of their company arguing by the front passenger wheel.
“Come on, Chris,” Jared pleads, “have a heart.”
“We don’t do motels until we get halfway through the tour.”
The noise coming from the back of Steve’s throat lets Jensen know the validity of that statement. Why the hell is Chris being so stubborn? Not like he doesn’t encourage Jared and Jensen to get busy. What does he expect them to do if they can’t stay at a motel?
Oh. Oh. That is disgusting. Chris is a fucking perv.
Jensen can’t seem to stop a shiver.
Steve leans in to whisper, “You cold?”
“Fine. Fine.”
Jared and Chris are still going at it. “If you want to sleep in the van so bad, fine! Sleep in the van! Jensen and I will get a room. Problem solved.”
“We don’t stop at motels until halfway through the tour. If then. Get over it.”
“Dude. I need a motel room. Tonight.”
Now that sounds nice. Jared’s voice is all growly and sexy…and Jensen wants to beat his head against the van door for even thinking that.
Neither of them says anything for several minutes, then Chris breaks, “One night.”
Jared literally picks the guy up and spins him around, whooping. “Thank you! I’m sure Jensen thanks you too!”
“Let go, jolly green. I said one night, but I didn’t say tonight.”
Oh, that rat bastard.
Jared’s entire body freezes. “….What?”
“I’m making you a deal, son. Now put me down.” That landing is a little rough. And judging by the hard expression on Jared’s face, Jensen’s certain it was completely intentional. “You get Jensen to stop with his nightly panic attacks, and one week from tonight, we stop at a motel.”
Hell. Jensen glances over at Jared to see his reaction, and he really wishes he hadn’t. Jared looks. Jensen doesn’t even have a word for it, but he’s not putting too much stock in Chris’s future existence.
“You’re joking. You’ve got to be joking.” It’s a little creepy how Jared’s eyes are fixated on Chris’s.
“That’s the deal.”
“I hate you. So much.”
“Figured.”
“You realize you’re holding my balls hostage, man?”
“I’m not saying you two can’t get busy. Just not in a motel.”
Jensen was right. Chris is a fucking perv.
And now Jared knows that too.
***
“I can’t believe Chris is such an asshole!” Jared grumbles plenty loud enough for Chris to hear in the front passenger seat. They are back on the road and Jared has yet to stop glaring daggers into the back of Chris’s head.
Chris, on the other hand, is ignoring every glare, dirty look, shout, and punch thrown his way.
Steve bounces between shaking his head at everyone and snickering. Yeah, Steve is an evil bastard too.
And Jensen is doing his best not to touch Jared. Because now that he knows the two of them aren’t going to be getting together until one week from last night, it’s really hard to touch Jared and not want to tell Chris to go fuck himself. Then the two of them could find a bed by themselves and spend days trying every position imaginable. It’s a pretty nice fantasy.
However, since it seems that isn’t going to happen any time soon, the only way Jensen has to control his libido is to stay as far away from Jared as possible. Luckily, Jared is helping right now since he’s too preoccupied sending death thoughts in Chris’s general direction to even look at Jensen. And that’s totally working for him.
Except for how it’s driving him nuts because Jared is supposed to be trying to touch him, dammit! Jared is supposed to be laying his hand on Jensen’s thigh and reminding Jensen what he’s going to stop his pre-show hysterics for!
Again, Jensen realizes he is so fucked.
***
It’s a pretty good idea, which is why Jensen’s a little pissed at himself for not thinking of it first.
When all four of them are unloading the van at their next gig, Jared grabs Jensen from behind and drags him into the bar. At this time of day, it’s pretty unimpressive. Dirt on the wooden floor. Rusted metal signs nailed to the wall. Several small wooden tables and chairs. Something vaguely resembling a stage against the far wall. One lone bartender slumped on a stool. And pretty much nothing else.
Jensen doesn’t really get a chance to wonder what the hell Jared’s thinking before he’s shoved into the men’s room and pinned against the now closed door.
“Chris won’t let us get a motel room yet, so we’ll make do,” he murmurs against Jensen’s lips. His hands are running all over Jensen’s body and that works just fine for him.
Jensen’s hands make their way to Jared’s waist, then burrow under his shirt to feel the warm muscles moving beneath his fingertips. He’s acutely aware of how Jared’s hands are fumbling with Jensen’s fly, trying to unzip him as fast as humanly possible. Another win.
The instant Jared has him free, he pulls back, licking his lips hungrily as he stares down at Jensen, bared to his gaze. “Chris is crazy if he thinks I’m going to share you. No one gets to see you but me.”
Objectively, Jensen can see how Jared may be getting into the serious stage that they both agreed couldn’t happen. However, the last thing Jensen is at present is objective. At Jared’s words, he goes from semi-hard to leaking against his lower abdomen, desperate for Jared to do something. Anything. And he must communicate this because Jared grips him just as he brings his lips back to Jensen’s.
Two tugs and Jensen’s ready to go. He can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed by the less than stellar display of stamina. But he doesn’t want to come without Jared, so he manages to coordinate his fingers enough to open up Jared’s jeans and pull him out.
Groaning, Jared uses his gargantuan hand to encompass both of them, pistoning back and forth, side by side, until Jensen can’t take it. Jensen’s thrust forward disrupts Jared’s rhythm, setting him off too. Seconds after he explodes on Jared, there’s a hot splash against his stomach that immediately starts oozing down.
He feels delightfully boneless slumped against the door, partially propping Jared up, whose face is buried in Jensen’s neck.
Several minutes of heavy breathing later, Jared huffs a laugh. “That was.”
“Yeah.”
“We should definitely do that again.”
“I know.”
“Next time, with a bed.”
“I’ll keep that in mind before the show.”
Another brief silence, then Jared’s lips brush along Jensen’s pulse point. “I can’t wait to be inside you.”
His dick jumps, but must realize that nothing else is going to happen tonight, so it stays soft. “I hate you,” he mumbles.
Jared pulls back and plants a single kiss on Jensen’s mouth. “That’s okay. Because I love you.”
And Jensen knows he means it.
Fuck.
***
This is within the deal.
This is totally within the deal.
Chris said no more of his usual ‘can’t go on’ hysterics.
He said absolutely nothing about Jensen having a panic attack due to Jared saying he loves him. So he is completely within his rights to go into hysterics over this.
He’s locked himself in the men’s room, and he’s pacing back and forth in the tiny space, hyperventilating all the while.
Jared loves him.
Jared loves him.
And dammit all, Jensen loves him too.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This time, instead of turning around once he reaches the wall, Jensen bangs his head against it. Over and over again. Maybe he can beat some sense into himself.
Finally, he just rests his forehead against the cool wall, closes his eyes, and sighs.
Jensen really is so totally, completely, absolutely fucked.
***
“Jen?” Jared calls through the door. “Are you going to come out?”
He considers not answering, but he can hear that Jared’s worried. Jared’s worried and it’s Jensen’s fault and that hurts.
What is Jensen going to do now? How is Jensen going to go back home when the time comes? How is Jensen going to look into Jared’s eyes and say goodbye forever?
He starts hitting his head against the wall again.
***
“Jen?” Jared tries again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t.” Pause. “I know I said that we’d just try this, nothing serious, but.” Another pause. “Jensen. I’ve liked you from the beginning. And I’ve loved you…I don’t even know how long. But. I know that you’re still going to leave me. And yeah, that’s going to hurt like hell. But I want to be with you until you go. I need to be with you. Please. I’m not asking you to love me back, but let me love you.”
Jensen’s powerless to stop himself. He opens the door and looks up at Jared. The guy looks rough, like he’s been having his own hysterics outside the door while Jensen’s been beating himself up inside.
“I love you too.”
And he takes a breath.
***
Jensen goes up on stage when it’s time without his usual panic attack. Instead, he’s subdued. Quiet. While he sings, he never takes his eyes off of Jared, even though he can feel Steve and Chris shooting him looks. He doesn’t think they have any idea what went on between him and Jared, and he’d like to keep it that way. He needs more time to think about this. Think about what he’s setting himself up for. Because he knows that now he’s told Jared how he feels, he’s not going to be able to leave him. There’s no way. Not without killing him.
But that doesn’t change the fact that he still has to.
***
Jensen doesn’t go to sleep that night. He lies down between Chris and Jared, like always, and lets Jared curl up beside him. And with Jared’s head on his chest and Jared’s leg thrown over his own, he stares up at the ceiling of the van.
He can hear Chris and Steve snoring, but Jared’s snoring has suddenly stopped. Jensen doesn’t even wait for Jared to say something, “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
His hands move up and down Jensen’s torso like he’s petting. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he whispers.
No. Jensen’s not even close to okay. “Yeah. Just can’t sleep.”
Jared’s quiet long enough for Jensen to think he’s gone back to sleep. But he hasn’t. “Are you thinking about what we said earlier?”
No point in lying. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t say it to-”
Jensen interrupts, “I know.” He has to take a breath because there’s no way he’s going to get through this without a lot of help. “I don’t want to leave you.” Huh. He actually feels better after saying it.
Jared’s head lifts up and though it’s dark in the van, Jensen knows he can still see him. “Really?” There’s that cautious hope again.
He doesn’t trust himself to do anything other than nod. And immediately Jared wraps himself around Jensen.
“I’m so glad.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
“I love you too.”
Jensen feels like scum.
***
He’s numb.
When he wakes up in the morning and drinks his coffee, he’s numb.
During the long hours that they drive from point A to point B, he’s numb.
When they set up the stage at the next bar, he’s numb.
He’s so numb that his pre-show hysterics don’t even occur to him anymore. He just steps up on the stage, sings, and gets back down. Numb.
He crawls back into the van and lies down, numb.
When Jared pulls him close at night, he finally feels something. A tiny spark of life, and he clutches to it. But all too soon, he’s swallowed by the numbness again.
He answers questions. He gives a decent impersonation of a living being. He kisses Jared back, savoring every gentle touch of their lips because he knows all too soon he’ll feel nothing again.
And each morning it starts all over again.
Jensen lasts five days before he breaks.
***
“Jen, are you sure you’re okay?” Jared asks. Again.
“Yeah.” He shrugs nonchalantly, then goes back to unloading the van.
Jared looks skeptical, but he changes the subject. “You know what tonight is?”
Jensen knows it’s something important - he just can’t remember what.
“It’s motel night. You’ve gone on the stage without a fight for a week, so tonight, after the show, you and I are checking into a motel room.” He sets his hand on Jensen’s lower back and nuzzles at his neck.
For the first time in days, the numb is pushed back completely. It’s burned away with the fire spreading through him - a fire stemming from the small of his back where Jared’s hand is so casually touching him. He needs this. He needs this. It occurs to him that only Jared can keep the numb away, can fill his ears with his voice as opposed to the static that’s been buzzing incessantly.
Dropping the guitar case, Jensen turns to Jared and pulls him close so that their lips can touch. But it’s not close enough. He needs Jared plastered against him from their toes to the noses. He just can’t get enough and if something doesn’t stop them soon, Jensen is going to open himself for Jared right here in this back alley behind the bar.
Jared must realize that because he works his hand between them and gently separates them. “It’s okay, Jen. Tonight. Just a few more hours.”
Jensen tries to cling, but Jared’s resolute.
“I promise, I won’t let you go. Just a few more hours.”
***
The show passes in a haze. Jensen has no idea how many songs they sing or in what order. He has no idea how many people are there and if they sing along. All he knows is that Jared is standing right beside the stage and their eyes never leave each other.
Jensen feels. And he’s not going to risk losing that. He concentrates his whole being on Jared and when Jared reaches out a hand to pull him close, Jensen goes without question.
Jared must have made a deal with Chris and Steve because they don’t say anything when Jared pulls Jensen out the door. They leave without helping to pack up. They leave and walk to a motel just two blocks away. Jared takes care of everything and the next thing Jensen knows, he’s standing in a room with Jared and one king bed and that’s an equation that makes complete sense.
Apparently, Jared wants to take it slow and Jensen just wants Jared, so they take it slow. Jared peels off every article of Jensen’s clothing, one piece at a time, reveling in each inch of skin that’s exposed. Then he asks Jensen to do the same to him, and admittedly, Jensen goes a little faster than Jared did, but Jared doesn’t complain.
Once they’re both naked, Jensen leads Jared to the bed and lies down, pulling Jared on top of him. It feels so right, but what feels even more perfect is when Jensen spreads his legs and Jared settles between his thighs with their exposed groins up against each other.
The light friction is enough to make Jensen moan. He’s never going to make it. He needs too much. But when he tries to thrust up, Jared’s hand settles on his hip and pins him down.
Jared ever so slowly inches forward until they’re kissing, mouths opening to each other. Jensen has no idea how long he lies there with Jared’s tongue rubbing against his, but every second of it is heaven and hell. He needs more. So much more. But it feels too good for him to pull away to ask for what he needs.
Again, Jared must know because his hand starts moving. Light touches starting at Jensen’s neck, along his collar bones. Then across his chest, toying with his nipples. Down his abdomen, like he’s counting every muscle, and Jensen almost laughs because it’s tickling. But then Jared reaches lower and Jensen can’t contain his groan, but Jared just eats it. Take it into his mouth on his tongue.
Jensen tries to thrust again, but Jared’s other hand is still pinning him down and it’s driving him crazy! But Jared is insistent that this go exactly how he wants. He sets the achingly slow pace and keeps Jensen to it, despite every plea he throws at Jared.
Finally. Finally, Jared pulls back to ask, “Can you…can you take me like this? Or do you need to turn around?”
Through the haze in Jensen’s brain, he tries to listen and interpret what Jared’s asking. Swallowing, he nods. “Like this. Like this. Now.”
Jensen’s already mindless when he feels his knees being pressed against his chest. But then he’s pulled back to himself when he feels a slick finger penetrate him; he almost comes from it, but that would go against Jared’s plan, so Jared puts a quick stop to it by gripping the base of Jensen’s cock.
“Not yet, Jen. Just a little longer,” he murmurs against Jensen’s skin while another finger enters him.
The cloudy haze descends fully and everything is lost in sensation. He feels fingers brush along his insides, sending tingling waves all the way up his spine to his extremities. He could go on like this forever, just feeling what Jared does to him - how Jared plays him with subtle movements that thunder through every cell he has.
Some time later, the fingers disappear. Jensen would be angry, but some part of him realizes that this is a good thing. That something better is going to come along now.
And it does.
One long thrust and he’s finally full!
Still luxuriating in the feeling when Jared coaxes his legs to circle Jared’s waist, and that, unbelievably, feels even better.
The two of them stay as they are for a moment, adjusting and enjoying. Then Jared lets go of Jensen’s cock and grips his hand. Jensen’s grateful for the connection, but he needs Jared to move. Nownownow!
But Jared won’t be denied his control over this. Ignoring the begging in Jensen’s eyes, Jared’s gaze drags along Jensen’s sweat-slick body, ending on where they are joined. A soft gasp and he’s thrusting again. Pushing both of them as hard as he can. He goes to lean over Jensen, changing his angle, then stars burst behind Jensen’s eyes and he knows no more.
***
When Jensen comes to, he’s half lying on Jared’s chest with Jared’s arms around him and he knows he’s been cleaned up. Pretty nice place to wake up. Smiling, he kisses Jared’s chest just above his nipple, then looks up at the man’s face.
To be honest, he is expecting a post-coital smile at the very least.
That’s not what he sees.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen asks.
“What about Jeff?”
Oh. “We’re going to help him.”
He shakes his head. “We haven’t done anything for him in three weeks. Who knows what’s happened to him by now.”
“They won’t kill him or hurt him. They’ll keep him locked up. Interrogate him, hoping that he knows where I’d go.”
“That doesn’t exactly ease my mind, Jen.”
“Jared, he’s safe for now.”
“We have to help him.”
“I know, and we will. But we still have the same problem: how are we going to get in there? Until we figure that out, we have to keep moving. That’s all we can do for now.”
Jared stares at the ceiling, not saying anything for a minute. “I can’t believe we forgot about him. He’s my friend and he saved you and we forgot about him.”
They didn’t forget about him. They just had other things to think about. But Jensen understands what Jared is saying. “We will help him. We will get him out of there, I promise.”
“I believe you.”
***
It’s morning when Jensen opens his eyes again. He’s still wrapped around Jared like a giant bow. A very interested bow that is poking Jared’s hip. He focuses all his attention on the nearest nipple, lapping and nibbling and sucking until Jared’s hands settle on Jensen’s hips and shift him so that he’s seated just above Jared’s groin.
Grinning, Jensen asks, “Wanna go again before we join Chris and Steve?”
He reaches over to the bedside table and picks up a bottle of lube. “Don’t mention Chris when we’re about to have sex. He might hear his name and come running.”
“I don’t think he has that good of hearing,” Jensen replies, but he’s distracted by the way Jared flexes his fingers while pouring the oily liquid over them.
“Don’t want to take the chance.”
Jensen leans forward as Jared reaches behind him to start opening him up. He feels so delightfully slutty when he spreads his legs wider and thrust his ass up for Jared to have easier access.
“You’re going to ride me,” Jared says between kisses and licks to Jensen’s chest. “You’re going to love it, and you’re going to look so good doing it.”
Jared’s right. He’s going to do it. He’s going to enjoy it. Because this is where he belongs. Home be damned; he’s not going anywhere.
Part 1 | Part 3
***
They’re down from the tree and quietly making their way through the woods, keeping an eye out for their unwanted guests. And wait. Where is Jared going? Jensen jogs over to cut him off. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Jared’s forehead crinkles. “Back to the house.”
“You’re kidding, right? Did you forget that we were just chased into the woods by the Air Force?”
“And did you forget that we left my dogs?”
“We still can’t go back there.”
“I’m not just gonna leave them!”
Growling, Jensen looks away. He’s got to think of something because Jared’s right. They can’t leave Sadie and Harley there with those Air Force guys. He turns his attention back to Jared, “Is there someone you can call to come pick them up?”
Jared’s mouth puckers slightly while he thinks, and yeah. Jensen has to look away again. “Chad! I can call Chad.”
“Okay,” he nods. “We need to get to a pay phone and then you can call Chad. After that, we’ve got to find some place to stay the night.”
It’s several minutes after they’re moving again that Jared comments, “You’re pretty good at this whole ‘hiding from the authorities thing.’”
He shrugs. “You did alright back there.” At the face Jared gives him, Jensen sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t think that’s what you meant. I just. I’ve told you all I can, okay?” Not for the first time, Jensen wishes he could tell Jared everything. Or better yet, he wishes that he was just a normal guy, but he’s not. And therein lies the problem.
The silence that follows is long and uncomfortable, and Jensen really hates it.
***
“After I call Chad, I have to call Jeff,” Jared says as they make their way through the woods in the wee hours of the morning.
Jensen stops dead in his tracks because he couldn’t have heard right. There’s no way Jared is that stupid. “What?”
“I need to know if Jeff is okay.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s not. Jared, how do you think they found us?”
Jared looks affronted. “Jeff would never turn me in!”
Holding up a placating hand, Jensen immediately assures, “I’m sure he wouldn’t. But if they found you, they know he helped me escape. There’s not going to be any reaching him.”
He turns to Jensen with an expression that tears him up inside. So Jensen does the only thing he can do: he rests his hand on Jared’s shoulder and says, “Come on. Let’s get the dogs taken care of, then we’ll figure out what to do about Jeff. But we’ve got to keep moving if we’re going to be any help to him.”
The relieved smile on Jared’s face is totally worth all the trouble they’re going to get into.
“You’re not that bad…for someone who thinks he’s an alien.”
At least it looks like Jared’s joking around again. “I don’t think I’m anything.”
“Sure, E.T. You wanna phone home?”
“Laugh it up, sasquatch.”
***
They walk for hours through the woods, avoiding homes and roads until they reach the edge of town. The two of them keep to the shadows as Jared leads Jensen to a pay phone in the town square.
“So, who’s this Chad guy?” Jensen asks.
Beside him, Jared is digging deep in his pockets for change. His voice is a little distracted, his focus on counting the few coins in his palm. “Um. An old college buddy. He lives not too far from here. Ah! Just enough!” Triumphant, he inserts the coins and dials. “Chad, man, sorry to wa-” he breaks off with a disgusted noise. “Ugh. Dude, I didn’t need to know that…yeah, yeah, I know. Hey listen, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to come pick up Sadie and Harley and take them back to your place….suck it up, man, I need your help. Yeah, I’ll explain later. Thanks.” He hangs up and turns to Jensen. “Okay, so now what?”
Good question.
***
“You sure about this guy?” Jensen asks. He feels it’s a pretty valid question seeing as they’re hiding behind a row of bushes scoping out the guy’s house.
Jared nods. “Yeah, Chris is a good guy. Added bonus is that he’d intimidate anyone that came knocking on his door, including the men in black.”
“If this guy is so good, why didn’t you ask him to pick up Harley and Sadie?”
“Chris is about to leave town, so I would have just had to call Chad tomorrow as opposed to tonight.”
“Okay, well, we still can’t just go hide out with one of your friends.”
Shaking his head, he turns to Jensen. “No one would think to look for me here. Trust me, anyone who knows me would assume I’d run to Chad’s. We should be perfectly safe with Chris.”
“Alright. Let’s give it a few more minutes and if it’s still quiet, we’ll go up to the backdoor.”
“Can’t you just check it out with your freaky alien powers?”
Jensen’s head whips around to stare at Jared. “My what? I don’t have any freaky alien powers.”
“Seriously?” And it kills Jensen that Jared sounds genuinely surprised. “Man, that sucks. You’re a pretty lame alien.”
“I’m not a lame a-…you know what? Fine.”
Now Jared’s grinning as he shakes his head. “Don’t get pissy with me just because you’re a lame alien with no superpowers.”
Jensen has to turn away so Jared won’t see the smile he’s trying - and failing - to hide.
***
The two of them make their way up to Chris’s backdoor, bickering quietly.
Jared whispers, “We have to tell Chris what’s going on. It’s not fair for us to bring him into this without telling him everything.”
“Like I did with you?”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Jared immediately protests.
“Whatever. But can you honestly tell me that if we tell him I’m hiding from the Air Force, he’s going to let me into his house?”
“Yeah.”
Jensen shakes his head. “People don’t do that, Jared. I can’t be sure that he won’t turn me away, or worse, turn me in.”
Jared’s jaw literally drops. “He wouldn’t turn you in! He’s my friend and he’ll help us, I swear.”
He looks so sincere that Jensen takes a minute to consider it. If Chris turns him away, he just has to keep running, and he’s done that enough to be okay. If Chris turns him in…well, Jared says that’s not going to happen, and Jensen wants to believe him. He’ll just have to be on his guard, just in case. “Okay. Let’s knock.”
Jared’s beaming at him as he knocks on the backdoor, and seconds later, a guy with kinda long dark hair is watching them with narrowed eyes.
“Jared,” the guys - who Jensen assumes is Chris - says while his eyes roam freely over Jensen’s entire body, “you brought me a present. You shouldn’t have…not that I’m complaining, mind.”
Jensen leans back slightly and glances over to Jared, who’s wearing an expression that’s a mix of scared, angry, and ‘I just ate something sour’, and Jensen has no idea how to interpret that. At least until Jared shifts over so that he’s between Chris and Jensen - he even reaches back to grab hold of Jensen’s arm in a gesture that screams ‘MINE!’ so loudly that Jensen can’t help but smile. Jared’s jealous.
Chris laughs as he opens the door wider. “I get it, he’s yours and I won’t touch. Now, come on in.”
Now that Jared doesn’t appear to see Chris as a threat, he steps aside again, flushing. Jensen tries to catch his eye, but Jared keeps his gaze on the ground. “Thanks, man. Um. Chris, this is Jensen, and we need a place to stay tonight.”
“I’ve got the spare bedroom and the couch, if you two want to sleep separate.” He leers at Jensen again. “Can’t imagine why you’d want to, though.”
Jared’s eyes whip up to glare at Chris, who bursts out laughing again. “Easy tiger, I said I wouldn’t touch. Now get your asses in here before I change my mind.”
Oh yeah. Jensen likes Chris.
***
“So,” Chris begins, “let me get this straight. Jensen here escaped from the Air Force and now they’re after him. They found him at your place, Jared, and then you brought him to my place thinking that the two of you could hide here. Right?”
Wow, the whole situation does not sound very fair to Chris when put that way. However, Jared doesn’t seem to agree since he’s nodding innocently back.
“And why is the Air Force after pretty boy here?” Chris asks.
Oh please, don’t let Jared say he’s an alien. If there is any goodness in the world, he won’t say Jensen’s an alien.
Jared opens his mouth to say, “See, Jensen is-”
And Jensen isn’t willing to take the risk. “They think I know about something I don’t. It’s all basically a big misunderstanding, but they aren’t really letting me explain it, so.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal, ignoring Jared shifting beside him.
Chris’s gaze darts between Jared and Jensen a moment before he shrugs too. “Whatever you say. Sure you two can stay as long as you need to. Condoms are in the bedside table, and I’m pretty sure there’s lube in there too. Just don’t get any jizz on the bed, if you can help it.”
Beside him, Jared’s face is beet red, and though Jensen’s not much better off, he still cracks up.
***
“I’m not,” Jared stutters once they’re alone in the bedroom. “I mean. I just. I wouldn’t. Chris. He’s…” His entire body is tense and Jensen’s worried that his muscles are going to snap just from standing there.
Jensen smiles at him. “Jared, man, calm down.”
“I just don’t want you thinking that I…that I would…”
He nods. “I know. Don’t worry. Let’s just get some sleep, alright? I’m beat and I’m sure you are too.” At Jared’s emphatic nod, Jensen asks, “Share the bed?”
“I don’t know.” Jared scratches the back of his neck as he shifts from one foot to the other.
Jensen holds up a hand in a peaceful gesture. “Hey man, I saw the couch and it doesn’t look like it could hold either of us. At least not comfortably. And I don’t mind sharing if you don’t.”
He hesitates for a moment, clearly considering which would be a worse fate, before nodding. Instantly, he seems to relax, which in turn, makes Jensen breath a sigh of relief. That is, until Jared starts to take off his shirt. Then Jensen has to turn away quickly before he sees too much to go to sleep beside Jared without wanting to touch and rub and caress.
Jensen takes off his own shirt and shucks his pants, crawling into the double bed without looking at Jared even once. It requires much more willpower than Jensen thought he had left, but he manages. Behind him, he can hear Jared climb into the bed and get comfortable. In fact, he can hear every movement that Jared makes. The old groan of the bed as he turns over. His skin sliding against the sheets as he pulls them over his body. Soft sighs of comfort when he settles in.
It’s going to be a long night.
***
With bleary eyes and dry drool at the corner of his mouth, Jensen meanders into the kitchen late the next morning. And the only reason he manages that is the enticing aroma of coffee leading the way.
“Mmmm,” he hums, happily accepting the mug Jared laughingly hands to him.
“Dude, did you get any sleep last night?” Jared asks.
No, he didn’t. Because Jared was lying a few, mere inches away, in some state of undress that Jensen wasn’t brave enough to check out, and if that wasn’t a recipe for a sleepless night, Jensen doesn’t know what is. “Eh.”
“Well, I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep either, but I think I still look better than you.”
Jensen flips him off, then sits down at the kitchen table drink his coffee.
Jared plops down across from him, asking, “So what do we do now?”
He downs his cup in three swallows. “Get more coffee.” And he does.
“I meant about Jeff. How are we going to help him?”
Jensen scrubs a hand over his face, making sure to wipe all of the crusted drool off, before he sits back down with a fresh mug of coffee. “Why do you think I know?”
“Don’t you have experience with this?”
“…No. I’ve never tried to break into an Air Force bunker to rescue someone who had just rescued me from said bunker and then managed to get the two of us out without being noticed. So this is a new one on me.”
“What kind of al-”
Jensen interrupts, his free hand pointing at Jared, “Don’t say it.”
“Okay. But we still need to figure out a way to help Jeff.”
And to get Jensen’s ship back, dammit.
“What if I pretend, like, I’m bringing you back in as a prisoner? That works all the time in the movies.”
Jensen needs more coffee for this. “Which is why I don’t think that it will work for us. Besides, if anyone brings me back in, they’ll take me right to my cell and strap me back down on that damn bed, and there’s no way in hell I’m doing that.” Huh. He hadn’t really wanted that to slip out, and he’s not really sure how Jared’s going to respond.
He blinks, then leans back a little. His expression is soft and understanding, which makes Jensen stare down into his mug. “Okay. So, Plan A is out. What’s Plan B?”
Jensen definitely needs more coffee.
***
“You watch way too many movies, you know that right?” Jensen asks.
Across the table from him, Jared just shrugs and licks his fingers, which is way more distracting than it has any right to be. “Okay, so…scratch Plan P. Plan Q…”
“If the words: I saw it in a movie, TV show, book, or any variation thereof, come out of your mouth, I’m going to very calmly use this butter knife to stab you.” He figures it’s only polite to hold up the knife in question.
“Well, I don’t hear you coming up with any ideas!”
“I haven’t had a chance to think with you constantly suggesting we use poor plot devices from B movies!”
“Hey!” Chris’ rough voice calls from his bedroom. “Shut up out there! I’m trying to sleep!”
“It’s almost four in the afternoon, lazy ass!” Jared shouts back.
A second later, the bedroom door that had been open all day is slammed shut. Jensen can’t stop himself from laughing, but doesn’t feel bad since Jared’s chuckling too.
***
“Why does he even have a butter knife? Because he doesn’t really seem like the type,” Jensen comments.
Jared’s smiling when he replies, “I don’t know, but that’s not going to stop me from making fun of him for it.”
“You’re such a sweetheart.”
“You know it.”
Yeah. Yeah, he does.
“You two laugh it up,” Chris says as he finally joins them at the kitchen table. “The butter knife is an important utensil. Often overlooked in daily life.”
“I cannot believe those words just came out of your mouth. You are such a girl.” And yeah, Jensen doesn’t really blame Chris for punching Jared in the shoulder for that.
“So what have you two been yapping about all day?” Chris asks.
Jensen awkwardly shifts in his seat. He doesn’t want to give Chris too much information, but he knows Jared’s opinion on that. Might as well let Jared take this one.
And he does. “We’re trying to figure out what to do now.”
Chris glances between the two of them. “What are the options?”
Jared’s eyes focus on Jensen when he answers, “We don’t know.”
“What I do know,” Jensen speaks up, “is that we can’t stay here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Even if you think no one will link you to Chris, that will only buy us a little time. The Air Force is going to start knocking on every door in this town pretty soon. They won’t give up looking for me. It’s better if we keep moving.” Jensen wonders if Jared’s really thought about the implications of running with him. Judging by the way Jared’s eyes fall to the table and his teeth worry his lower lip, Jensen’s guessing not. “Look. I appreciate all the help you’ve given me so far. I wouldn’t still be breathing free air if it weren’t for you. Hell, I may not even be alive if it weren’t for you. You’ve done more than enough. I can make my own way from here. I’ll do everything I can to help Jeff. You keep out of sight for a few weeks, and everything will get back to normal soon enough.”
Now Jared’s lips form a thin line and he glares across the table at Jensen. “If you even think about suggesting that we split up again, I’ll take your butter knife and stab you right back. We’re in this together. I’ve already assaulted Air Force officers, so they’re not going to let me go free and clear. Besides, I have to help Jeff too, so just forget about dumping me. Got it?”
Okay, that didn’t go how he thought it would. Numbly, he nods. “We still don’t know what we’re going to do now, though.”
“You two can tag along with me,” Chris volunteers.
“Really?”
Jared looks way too excited about that for Jensen’s peace of mind. “Tag along? What are you doing?”
“Me and Steve are about to go on tour. Nothing fancy, just a few states. You two can come along. That way you stay on the road and the bad guys can’t find you.”
“What would we do?”
“Jolly Green Giant over here,” he nods towards Jared, “can’t carry a tune in a bucket, so he’ll just be muscle. But you…?” Chris’s already narrow eyes narrow even further as he studies Jensen. “Can you sing?”
He blinks. “Uh. A little, but-”
“Great. You’ll be our backup.”
…What?
***
This couldn’t be happening. There’s no way that he was actually going along with this. This whole crazy scheme has FAILURE written all over it. Along with other even more interesting words like DISCOVERY and CAPTURE. What the hell is he thinking?
Jensen glances over to Jared, who is perfectly content to load up Steve’s van with case after case. What the hell is Jared thinking? The guy looks ecstatic with this plan. The very plan that is going to wave a giant red flag in the face of the U.S. Air Force. He might as well just walk right back into the bunker and lay himself down on that damn cot.
…Jensen is going to be sick.
***
“Hey, man,” Jared lightly slaps him on the back. Not the best idea since Jensen is hovering over the toilet, but apparently little details like that don’t occur to Jared. “We’re all packed up and Steve and Chris are waiting in the van. You ready to go?”
“I don’t think we should do this.” Jensen’s shaking his head, which is only making him more nauseous. He really needs to stop that.
“Jen, we already talked about this. What else are we going to do?”
“But. Chris wants me to sing! He wants me to be up on stage. With him. Where anyone can see me. Don’t you think that’s the complete opposite of hiding?”
“You’ll be hiding in plain sight.”
“That’s easy for you to say; you’re not the one who was strapped down on a cot for days!”
Jared’s hand immediately starts rubbing soothing circles on Jensen’s back. “Jen, I’m not going to let them get their hands on you again. I promise. No matter what, we can’t stay here. You said so yourself. Chris is offering to get us out of here, and I say we take him up on it. If you really don’t want to be up on stage, you can opt out of it. But either way, we have to get moving.” He waits until he sees Jensen nod. “Okay. Come on, let’s get going.”
He helps Jensen straighten, then throws an arm around Jensen’s shoulder. And yeah, his nausea is already receding, but he still leans pretty heavily into Jared’s side all the same.
***
Four hours on the road and Jensen still thinks this may well be the biggest mistake he’s ever made. However, he can’t seem to make himself care because he’s in the back of Steve’s van with Jared, who is all grins and dimples and sparkling eyes. Jared keeps touching him. Intentional slaps to the back or nudges or tickles. But even more distracting are the accidental ones when Jared’s thigh brushes up against Jensen’s because the sasquatch is just too tall to be contained in such a small space. Or when he reaches over to offer Jensen some of his candy and their fingers barely brush each other.
Steve and Chris are in the front seat, mostly keeping to themselves, but every now and then they talk to Jared and Jensen. For the most part, Jensen has Jared entirely to himself, which on some basic level feels right. Like that’s exactly how it’s meant to be, and Jensen just doesn’t have the time or the inclination to examine that one.
Some things, he figures, a man is not supposed to know about himself.
***
Chris doesn’t look back when he throws a rubber-banded stack of papers over his shoulder in Jensen’s general direction. “There’s the music. Learn it. We’ll be at the bar in two hours and you’re going on with us tonight.”
While Jensen stares at the back of Chris’ head, Jared oh so helpfully picks up the music, releases it from the rubber band, and sets it in Jensen’s lap.
“Come on, Jen,” Jared elbows him. “Give it a try.”
Sighing, he looks down at the sheet on top and reads the words, imagining the rhythm in his head.
“Out loud so we can hear you!” Chris orders, still not even glancing back at him.
Jensen’s eyes dart over to meet Jared’s, unconsciously drawing strength from the smiling giant. He takes a breath, then sings the first word of a song he doesn’t even know the title of, and just keeps going. When he’s finished, he thinks Chris and Steve know what they’re doing because the song’s pretty good.
But then he looks up, and he thinks, maybe he’s pretty good too because Jared is beaming back at him like he just single-handedly saved Christmas.
“Knew you’d be good, son,” Chris says. And Jensen manages to tear his eyes away from Jared to look over at Chris, who has finally turned around to look at him. “Now get back to work. Got a lot of songs for you to learn.” Just like that, he turns back as if nothing has happened, but Jared is still beaming and there’s just no chance that he’s going to be able to concentrate on these songs while Jared’s smiling at him like that.
***
“I can’t do this.” Jensen shakes his head back and forth to emphasize his point to Chris, who’s standing in front of him, obviously not listening. “This was a stupid idea.”
If Chris takes offense to that, he doesn’t show it. He simply grabs hold of Jensen’s shoulders when he tries to back away, and says, “You’re doing it. Get your ass on that stage.”
“I-I can’t. I can’t let them find me. I can’t go back there!”
Chris gives him one good shake to get Jensen’s attention. “People never notice what’s right in front of them.” Then he nods his head towards Jared, who’s helping Steve set up the stage. “Case in point.”
Huh?
“Now you’re going to take a deep breath, and you’re going to get up on that stage and sing backup for me and Steve. And if we’re all really lucky, afterwards you’ll tell Jared to jump your ass and put us all out of our misery.”
He’s not one hundred percent certain, but Jensen’s pretty confident that his eyes are taking up half his face at the moment. And he doesn’t know if Chris just doesn’t care that he dropped that bombshell, or if the singer’s got something better to do, but the man just smirks and walks off.
At least one good thing comes from the conversation: he’s too preoccupied thinking about Jared jumping his ass that he doesn’t have time to pick apart Chris’s logic. Therefore, he winds up on the stage of some medium-sized, smoky bar with Jared standing just a few feet away, grinning at Jensen like Jensen’s the answer to all his prayers.
And Jensen keeps singing along, his eyes never straying far or long from Jared, because he wants to keep up the illusion that he’s only singing for him.
***
Apparently it’s tradition to sleep the first night of the tour in the van. Jensen thinks that’s a load of shit, but seeing as Chris and Steve thought of it and Jared’s still too busy going on and on about how great Jensen was on stage to care what everyone else is talking about, Jensen is, unfortunately, outvoted.
He ends up sleeping between Jared and Chris, which is partially really great and partially hell on earth.
Chris isn’t that bad except for the look he gives Jensen just before going to sleep. The look that very clearly said, ‘Jared’s right there, so get busy…just keep it down.’ But that’s it, so overall, sleeping beside Chris isn’t that bad.
The main problem lies with Jared. See, Jared is a furnace, which is pretty damn nice since it’s so cold outside. He also has this soft snore that Jensen refuses to admit that he finds the slightest bit cute. And to top it all off, Jared? Is a cuddler. All very good, but at the same time, all very bad.
Jensen has to remember that he’s not going to be here much longer. He’s going to get his ship, repair it, and get the hell out of here. And if not that, he just has to get to his ship, because he enabled the distress beacon while he was going down, so he knows help is on the way. He simply needs to be near the beacon when the time comes and he’ll be rescued. He’ll be back with his own people and this will all just be a memory. Stories to tell friends strictly for entertainment purposes.
So yeah. All he needs to remember is that this is temporary. He and Jared have absolutely no future. Hell, Jared is even going to unknowingly help him get back to his ship so that he can go home.
If nothing else will drive the point home, that will.
He can have no ties to anyone here.
No ties.
No worries.
No sweat.
***
Chris is a demon. Jensen’s almost positive. There’s no other explanation for the way he kicked Jensen in the ass to wake him up when he was sleeping so peacefully wrapped up in Jared’s arms. It’s not like Chris and Steve actually needed them to wake up before they got on the road. Chris is just an evil bastard. Enough said.
Jared, on the other hand, has no problem being woken up. He doesn’t even flush in embarrassment like Jensen does when both Steve and Chris stare at them curled up together. Jared just flashes his dimples and pulls Jensen closer so that he has to spread his legs to make room between his thighs for Jared’s left leg.
And yeah. The problem with that doesn’t even bear explaining.
“Don’t let us stop you,” Steve says. Beside him, Chris is smirking.
Jared, the bastard, settles his enormous hands on Jensen’s lower back and winks. “We won’t.”
Then he darts towards Jensen and kisses him.
Shit.
***
Jensen is so fucked.
They’re all cleaned up - thank you gas station bathroom! - and back in the van, driving to the next city and it is dead. Silent.
Chris and Steve are doing a real good job of pretending like there is absolutely no one in the backseat. Jensen just wishes he could too. Because beside him is Jared.
Jared, who keeps shifting. Jared, who keeps nervously playing with his hands. Jared, who keeps staring at Jensen for minutes on end, then looks away for an instant just to immediately go back to staring!
It doesn’t help that Jensen is hyperaware of him. He can feel Jared’s eyes on him. Hell, he can feel Jared thinking about him. In fact, Jensen is so focused on Jared that he knows the precise second Jared’s going to break the silence.
“Jen, I’m. About this morning…”
“It’s fine,” he says, wincing when it sounds a little snappy.
Jared winces too, dammit. “I just,” he tries again. “I really like you. I understand that…” He trails off as he glances up at Steve and Chris who are still studiously ignoring everything going on behind them. When he starts talking again, he’s whispering, “I know that you’re probably going back to your home planet soon, but-”
Ugh, please not the lame alien thing again. At least the tension is broken now. Rolling his eyes, Jensen turns to Jared. “I don’t want to start something when I’m not going to be here long.”
Even as Jared’s nodding, he looks…disappointed. “I still want to try, though. I don’t care if it’s only for a short time; I want to see what happens. Please. It doesn’t have to be anything big and serious. Just. Just us. Together.”
And he looks so hopeful. A cautious smile forming on his lips, encouraging his dimples to come out of hiding.
Why can’t they enjoy the time they have? Jensen will be gone soon enough, and he doesn’t want to regret not trying this. He genuinely likes Jared, and if they both understand that nothing serious will happen between them, why can’t Jensen let himself enjoy this? Decision made, he lets the corner of his mouth tip up. “Okay.”
As if he doesn’t want to give Jensen the opportunity to change his mind, Jared grabs Jensen’s face and holds him still for another kiss. This time, he licks along the seam of Jensen’s full lips, coaxing them open. Then suddenly, Jensen’s feeling Jared’s tongue slide along inside his mouth. Tasting him.
And he realizes something: he never stood a chance.
***
“’Bout damn time you put that boy out of his misery,” Chris comments to Jensen when they stop at the next gas station. The two of them are perusing the snack aisle while Steve fills up the van and Jared meanders through the candy section.
But it looks like Chris isn’t finished yet. “Watching that boy drool after you for two days was plenty for me. Don’t even want to think about what it was like with just the two of you up in his cabin. Sniffing around each other but neither of you taking what you want.”
Yeah, thinking about all the time wasted up there isn’t really what Jensen wants to concentrate on either. Instead, he grabs a bag of Doritos and heads over to find Jared looking back and forth between a bag of twizzlers and a giant bag of skittles.
“Twizzlers,” Jensen says, grabbing it out of Jared’s hands an instant before he steals a kiss too. What? He’s making up for all the time they’ve lost. Not like they’ve got a lot left, but Jensen’s actively not thinking about that, so.
Jared drops the skittles, then wraps his arms around Jensen, pressing his lips against Jensen’s ear to ask, “You going to be my sugar daddy from another planet?”
“If I say yes, will you stop saying I’m a lame alien with no cool superpowers?”
“Well, you wouldn’t be a lame alien anymore - you’d be my intergalactic sugar daddy.”
Laughing, Jensen shakes his head. “Whatever. But actually, I don’t have any money, so you are going to have to be my sugar daddy.”
“Ugh, you are a lame alien from a whole planet of lame aliens. Didn’t they give you any spending money? How were you supposed to infiltrate the human race if you didn’t have any money?”
“Didn’t exactly plan on crashing.”
Jared nudges Jensen towards the counter with an arm around his shoulders. “Well, I’m kinda glad you did.”
Maybe Jensen was kinda glad too. Just a little.
***
Another night and another bar with another stage. Since Jensen’s been singing backup for Steve and Chris for almost two weeks now, he’s pretty much accepted that he’s never going to get out of singing with them.
That doesn’t stop him from panicking every night before going on, though.
Usually Jared’s the one to talk Jensen out of his hysterics and get him on the stage. And Jared accomplishes this through various methods, but the typical fallback is to use the ‘it hasn’t happened yet’ logic, which Jensen thinks is just bullshit. However, that’s not their only method for convincing Jensen to go on. Steve had to talk him out of the bathroom before the third show. Jared’s bribed him once or twice with sex…once they finally stop at a damn motel, that is, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to do anything other than kiss Jared while Steve and Chris are pretending to sleep not two feet away. And only once did Chris have to slap him, thank you.
Judging by the looks that the others exchange, Jensen’s pretty sure this is going to be another ‘bribe with sex’ night. Jared moves forward with his hands up, like he’s trying to corral Jensen against the back corner beside the stage.
Jensen can barely see Steve and Chris setting up over Jared’s shoulder before the whole world is blocked out by Jared’s overpowering frame.
“Jen, you’ve done this before,” he starts, “you can do it again, no problem.”
His arguments haven’t worked once in the past two weeks, but that doesn’t mean they might not start. Shaking his head, Jensen responds, “Jared, I’m setting myself up to get caught! Anyone can see me when I’m up there, and they could turn me in! I don’t have any type of weapon. I don’t have a defensible position. They’d take me in a heartbeat.”
“Okay, we’ll take this one part at a time.” The bastard even counts them off on his hands. “One, you’ve done this for almost two weeks and no men in black have come knocking on the van door yet.”
“Yet.”
Jared continues on as if Jensen hadn’t said a word. “Two, no one is going to turn you in because no one knows the government is looking for you. No wanted posters. No announcements on the news. Nothing.”
“Yeah, but they aren’t going to want to draw attention to themselves. And they’ve got spies everywhere. They’re sneaky like that.”
And talking right over him is Jared. “Three, you are not vulnerable. You don’t need weapons, you have us. We’re constantly on the road. No one back home knows we’re with Chris and Steve, so no one can tell the men in black. And I promise, the three of us won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Jare-“
“Four, you are a great singer and you belong up on that stage. So get that cute little ass up there and do your thing.”
“But-”
“No. You had your chance to opt out of singing, but you blew it. The first time you got up on that stage and sang, you spoiled me. So now I demand as your soon-to-be human lover that you get up there and sing for me. And if you do, we might be able to talk Steve and Chris into stopping at a real motel. Just think, Jen. Our own room. Our own bed. Think of all the fun we could have.”
That’s just not fair. Jensen’s mind is glazing over just imagining what could go on behind a motel door with Steve and Chris nowhere in sight. He leans heavily onto the wall, acutely aware of how Jared’s leaning in closer. Crowding him with pure bulk. Unconsciously, Jensen stares at Jared’s lips while licking his own, and that seems to be enough to get Jared’s attention.
Suddenly Jared’s on him from lips to thighs. What meager distance had been between them is now gone, and that works just fine for Jensen. Really.
That is, until someone clears their throat. “You two finished yet? Because we do have a show to do, in case you forgot.”
Chris just climbed to the very top of Jensen’s shit list.
Groaning, Jared pulls himself away, his eyes lingering on Jensen’s lips and just how is he supposed to let Jared go when he’s looking at him like that?
He’s half tempted to pull Jared back to him, forget the show and Chris and whoever else is watching them. But then Jared shakes his head minutely and Jensen slumps against the wall.
“Dammit. Let’s get this over with.”
***
That night, Jared and Chris aren’t exactly secretive about what they’re discussing. Steve and Jensen are loading the van back up with the other two of their company arguing by the front passenger wheel.
“Come on, Chris,” Jared pleads, “have a heart.”
“We don’t do motels until we get halfway through the tour.”
The noise coming from the back of Steve’s throat lets Jensen know the validity of that statement. Why the hell is Chris being so stubborn? Not like he doesn’t encourage Jared and Jensen to get busy. What does he expect them to do if they can’t stay at a motel?
Oh. Oh. That is disgusting. Chris is a fucking perv.
Jensen can’t seem to stop a shiver.
Steve leans in to whisper, “You cold?”
“Fine. Fine.”
Jared and Chris are still going at it. “If you want to sleep in the van so bad, fine! Sleep in the van! Jensen and I will get a room. Problem solved.”
“We don’t stop at motels until halfway through the tour. If then. Get over it.”
“Dude. I need a motel room. Tonight.”
Now that sounds nice. Jared’s voice is all growly and sexy…and Jensen wants to beat his head against the van door for even thinking that.
Neither of them says anything for several minutes, then Chris breaks, “One night.”
Jared literally picks the guy up and spins him around, whooping. “Thank you! I’m sure Jensen thanks you too!”
“Let go, jolly green. I said one night, but I didn’t say tonight.”
Oh, that rat bastard.
Jared’s entire body freezes. “….What?”
“I’m making you a deal, son. Now put me down.” That landing is a little rough. And judging by the hard expression on Jared’s face, Jensen’s certain it was completely intentional. “You get Jensen to stop with his nightly panic attacks, and one week from tonight, we stop at a motel.”
Hell. Jensen glances over at Jared to see his reaction, and he really wishes he hadn’t. Jared looks. Jensen doesn’t even have a word for it, but he’s not putting too much stock in Chris’s future existence.
“You’re joking. You’ve got to be joking.” It’s a little creepy how Jared’s eyes are fixated on Chris’s.
“That’s the deal.”
“I hate you. So much.”
“Figured.”
“You realize you’re holding my balls hostage, man?”
“I’m not saying you two can’t get busy. Just not in a motel.”
Jensen was right. Chris is a fucking perv.
And now Jared knows that too.
***
“I can’t believe Chris is such an asshole!” Jared grumbles plenty loud enough for Chris to hear in the front passenger seat. They are back on the road and Jared has yet to stop glaring daggers into the back of Chris’s head.
Chris, on the other hand, is ignoring every glare, dirty look, shout, and punch thrown his way.
Steve bounces between shaking his head at everyone and snickering. Yeah, Steve is an evil bastard too.
And Jensen is doing his best not to touch Jared. Because now that he knows the two of them aren’t going to be getting together until one week from last night, it’s really hard to touch Jared and not want to tell Chris to go fuck himself. Then the two of them could find a bed by themselves and spend days trying every position imaginable. It’s a pretty nice fantasy.
However, since it seems that isn’t going to happen any time soon, the only way Jensen has to control his libido is to stay as far away from Jared as possible. Luckily, Jared is helping right now since he’s too preoccupied sending death thoughts in Chris’s general direction to even look at Jensen. And that’s totally working for him.
Except for how it’s driving him nuts because Jared is supposed to be trying to touch him, dammit! Jared is supposed to be laying his hand on Jensen’s thigh and reminding Jensen what he’s going to stop his pre-show hysterics for!
Again, Jensen realizes he is so fucked.
***
It’s a pretty good idea, which is why Jensen’s a little pissed at himself for not thinking of it first.
When all four of them are unloading the van at their next gig, Jared grabs Jensen from behind and drags him into the bar. At this time of day, it’s pretty unimpressive. Dirt on the wooden floor. Rusted metal signs nailed to the wall. Several small wooden tables and chairs. Something vaguely resembling a stage against the far wall. One lone bartender slumped on a stool. And pretty much nothing else.
Jensen doesn’t really get a chance to wonder what the hell Jared’s thinking before he’s shoved into the men’s room and pinned against the now closed door.
“Chris won’t let us get a motel room yet, so we’ll make do,” he murmurs against Jensen’s lips. His hands are running all over Jensen’s body and that works just fine for him.
Jensen’s hands make their way to Jared’s waist, then burrow under his shirt to feel the warm muscles moving beneath his fingertips. He’s acutely aware of how Jared’s hands are fumbling with Jensen’s fly, trying to unzip him as fast as humanly possible. Another win.
The instant Jared has him free, he pulls back, licking his lips hungrily as he stares down at Jensen, bared to his gaze. “Chris is crazy if he thinks I’m going to share you. No one gets to see you but me.”
Objectively, Jensen can see how Jared may be getting into the serious stage that they both agreed couldn’t happen. However, the last thing Jensen is at present is objective. At Jared’s words, he goes from semi-hard to leaking against his lower abdomen, desperate for Jared to do something. Anything. And he must communicate this because Jared grips him just as he brings his lips back to Jensen’s.
Two tugs and Jensen’s ready to go. He can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed by the less than stellar display of stamina. But he doesn’t want to come without Jared, so he manages to coordinate his fingers enough to open up Jared’s jeans and pull him out.
Groaning, Jared uses his gargantuan hand to encompass both of them, pistoning back and forth, side by side, until Jensen can’t take it. Jensen’s thrust forward disrupts Jared’s rhythm, setting him off too. Seconds after he explodes on Jared, there’s a hot splash against his stomach that immediately starts oozing down.
He feels delightfully boneless slumped against the door, partially propping Jared up, whose face is buried in Jensen’s neck.
Several minutes of heavy breathing later, Jared huffs a laugh. “That was.”
“Yeah.”
“We should definitely do that again.”
“I know.”
“Next time, with a bed.”
“I’ll keep that in mind before the show.”
Another brief silence, then Jared’s lips brush along Jensen’s pulse point. “I can’t wait to be inside you.”
His dick jumps, but must realize that nothing else is going to happen tonight, so it stays soft. “I hate you,” he mumbles.
Jared pulls back and plants a single kiss on Jensen’s mouth. “That’s okay. Because I love you.”
And Jensen knows he means it.
Fuck.
***
This is within the deal.
This is totally within the deal.
Chris said no more of his usual ‘can’t go on’ hysterics.
He said absolutely nothing about Jensen having a panic attack due to Jared saying he loves him. So he is completely within his rights to go into hysterics over this.
He’s locked himself in the men’s room, and he’s pacing back and forth in the tiny space, hyperventilating all the while.
Jared loves him.
Jared loves him.
And dammit all, Jensen loves him too.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This time, instead of turning around once he reaches the wall, Jensen bangs his head against it. Over and over again. Maybe he can beat some sense into himself.
Finally, he just rests his forehead against the cool wall, closes his eyes, and sighs.
Jensen really is so totally, completely, absolutely fucked.
***
“Jen?” Jared calls through the door. “Are you going to come out?”
He considers not answering, but he can hear that Jared’s worried. Jared’s worried and it’s Jensen’s fault and that hurts.
What is Jensen going to do now? How is Jensen going to go back home when the time comes? How is Jensen going to look into Jared’s eyes and say goodbye forever?
He starts hitting his head against the wall again.
***
“Jen?” Jared tries again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t.” Pause. “I know I said that we’d just try this, nothing serious, but.” Another pause. “Jensen. I’ve liked you from the beginning. And I’ve loved you…I don’t even know how long. But. I know that you’re still going to leave me. And yeah, that’s going to hurt like hell. But I want to be with you until you go. I need to be with you. Please. I’m not asking you to love me back, but let me love you.”
Jensen’s powerless to stop himself. He opens the door and looks up at Jared. The guy looks rough, like he’s been having his own hysterics outside the door while Jensen’s been beating himself up inside.
“I love you too.”
And he takes a breath.
***
Jensen goes up on stage when it’s time without his usual panic attack. Instead, he’s subdued. Quiet. While he sings, he never takes his eyes off of Jared, even though he can feel Steve and Chris shooting him looks. He doesn’t think they have any idea what went on between him and Jared, and he’d like to keep it that way. He needs more time to think about this. Think about what he’s setting himself up for. Because he knows that now he’s told Jared how he feels, he’s not going to be able to leave him. There’s no way. Not without killing him.
But that doesn’t change the fact that he still has to.
***
Jensen doesn’t go to sleep that night. He lies down between Chris and Jared, like always, and lets Jared curl up beside him. And with Jared’s head on his chest and Jared’s leg thrown over his own, he stares up at the ceiling of the van.
He can hear Chris and Steve snoring, but Jared’s snoring has suddenly stopped. Jensen doesn’t even wait for Jared to say something, “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
His hands move up and down Jensen’s torso like he’s petting. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he whispers.
No. Jensen’s not even close to okay. “Yeah. Just can’t sleep.”
Jared’s quiet long enough for Jensen to think he’s gone back to sleep. But he hasn’t. “Are you thinking about what we said earlier?”
No point in lying. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t say it to-”
Jensen interrupts, “I know.” He has to take a breath because there’s no way he’s going to get through this without a lot of help. “I don’t want to leave you.” Huh. He actually feels better after saying it.
Jared’s head lifts up and though it’s dark in the van, Jensen knows he can still see him. “Really?” There’s that cautious hope again.
He doesn’t trust himself to do anything other than nod. And immediately Jared wraps himself around Jensen.
“I’m so glad.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
“I love you too.”
Jensen feels like scum.
***
He’s numb.
When he wakes up in the morning and drinks his coffee, he’s numb.
During the long hours that they drive from point A to point B, he’s numb.
When they set up the stage at the next bar, he’s numb.
He’s so numb that his pre-show hysterics don’t even occur to him anymore. He just steps up on the stage, sings, and gets back down. Numb.
He crawls back into the van and lies down, numb.
When Jared pulls him close at night, he finally feels something. A tiny spark of life, and he clutches to it. But all too soon, he’s swallowed by the numbness again.
He answers questions. He gives a decent impersonation of a living being. He kisses Jared back, savoring every gentle touch of their lips because he knows all too soon he’ll feel nothing again.
And each morning it starts all over again.
Jensen lasts five days before he breaks.
***
“Jen, are you sure you’re okay?” Jared asks. Again.
“Yeah.” He shrugs nonchalantly, then goes back to unloading the van.
Jared looks skeptical, but he changes the subject. “You know what tonight is?”
Jensen knows it’s something important - he just can’t remember what.
“It’s motel night. You’ve gone on the stage without a fight for a week, so tonight, after the show, you and I are checking into a motel room.” He sets his hand on Jensen’s lower back and nuzzles at his neck.
For the first time in days, the numb is pushed back completely. It’s burned away with the fire spreading through him - a fire stemming from the small of his back where Jared’s hand is so casually touching him. He needs this. He needs this. It occurs to him that only Jared can keep the numb away, can fill his ears with his voice as opposed to the static that’s been buzzing incessantly.
Dropping the guitar case, Jensen turns to Jared and pulls him close so that their lips can touch. But it’s not close enough. He needs Jared plastered against him from their toes to the noses. He just can’t get enough and if something doesn’t stop them soon, Jensen is going to open himself for Jared right here in this back alley behind the bar.
Jared must realize that because he works his hand between them and gently separates them. “It’s okay, Jen. Tonight. Just a few more hours.”
Jensen tries to cling, but Jared’s resolute.
“I promise, I won’t let you go. Just a few more hours.”
***
The show passes in a haze. Jensen has no idea how many songs they sing or in what order. He has no idea how many people are there and if they sing along. All he knows is that Jared is standing right beside the stage and their eyes never leave each other.
Jensen feels. And he’s not going to risk losing that. He concentrates his whole being on Jared and when Jared reaches out a hand to pull him close, Jensen goes without question.
Jared must have made a deal with Chris and Steve because they don’t say anything when Jared pulls Jensen out the door. They leave without helping to pack up. They leave and walk to a motel just two blocks away. Jared takes care of everything and the next thing Jensen knows, he’s standing in a room with Jared and one king bed and that’s an equation that makes complete sense.
Apparently, Jared wants to take it slow and Jensen just wants Jared, so they take it slow. Jared peels off every article of Jensen’s clothing, one piece at a time, reveling in each inch of skin that’s exposed. Then he asks Jensen to do the same to him, and admittedly, Jensen goes a little faster than Jared did, but Jared doesn’t complain.
Once they’re both naked, Jensen leads Jared to the bed and lies down, pulling Jared on top of him. It feels so right, but what feels even more perfect is when Jensen spreads his legs and Jared settles between his thighs with their exposed groins up against each other.
The light friction is enough to make Jensen moan. He’s never going to make it. He needs too much. But when he tries to thrust up, Jared’s hand settles on his hip and pins him down.
Jared ever so slowly inches forward until they’re kissing, mouths opening to each other. Jensen has no idea how long he lies there with Jared’s tongue rubbing against his, but every second of it is heaven and hell. He needs more. So much more. But it feels too good for him to pull away to ask for what he needs.
Again, Jared must know because his hand starts moving. Light touches starting at Jensen’s neck, along his collar bones. Then across his chest, toying with his nipples. Down his abdomen, like he’s counting every muscle, and Jensen almost laughs because it’s tickling. But then Jared reaches lower and Jensen can’t contain his groan, but Jared just eats it. Take it into his mouth on his tongue.
Jensen tries to thrust again, but Jared’s other hand is still pinning him down and it’s driving him crazy! But Jared is insistent that this go exactly how he wants. He sets the achingly slow pace and keeps Jensen to it, despite every plea he throws at Jared.
Finally. Finally, Jared pulls back to ask, “Can you…can you take me like this? Or do you need to turn around?”
Through the haze in Jensen’s brain, he tries to listen and interpret what Jared’s asking. Swallowing, he nods. “Like this. Like this. Now.”
Jensen’s already mindless when he feels his knees being pressed against his chest. But then he’s pulled back to himself when he feels a slick finger penetrate him; he almost comes from it, but that would go against Jared’s plan, so Jared puts a quick stop to it by gripping the base of Jensen’s cock.
“Not yet, Jen. Just a little longer,” he murmurs against Jensen’s skin while another finger enters him.
The cloudy haze descends fully and everything is lost in sensation. He feels fingers brush along his insides, sending tingling waves all the way up his spine to his extremities. He could go on like this forever, just feeling what Jared does to him - how Jared plays him with subtle movements that thunder through every cell he has.
Some time later, the fingers disappear. Jensen would be angry, but some part of him realizes that this is a good thing. That something better is going to come along now.
And it does.
One long thrust and he’s finally full!
Still luxuriating in the feeling when Jared coaxes his legs to circle Jared’s waist, and that, unbelievably, feels even better.
The two of them stay as they are for a moment, adjusting and enjoying. Then Jared lets go of Jensen’s cock and grips his hand. Jensen’s grateful for the connection, but he needs Jared to move. Nownownow!
But Jared won’t be denied his control over this. Ignoring the begging in Jensen’s eyes, Jared’s gaze drags along Jensen’s sweat-slick body, ending on where they are joined. A soft gasp and he’s thrusting again. Pushing both of them as hard as he can. He goes to lean over Jensen, changing his angle, then stars burst behind Jensen’s eyes and he knows no more.
***
When Jensen comes to, he’s half lying on Jared’s chest with Jared’s arms around him and he knows he’s been cleaned up. Pretty nice place to wake up. Smiling, he kisses Jared’s chest just above his nipple, then looks up at the man’s face.
To be honest, he is expecting a post-coital smile at the very least.
That’s not what he sees.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen asks.
“What about Jeff?”
Oh. “We’re going to help him.”
He shakes his head. “We haven’t done anything for him in three weeks. Who knows what’s happened to him by now.”
“They won’t kill him or hurt him. They’ll keep him locked up. Interrogate him, hoping that he knows where I’d go.”
“That doesn’t exactly ease my mind, Jen.”
“Jared, he’s safe for now.”
“We have to help him.”
“I know, and we will. But we still have the same problem: how are we going to get in there? Until we figure that out, we have to keep moving. That’s all we can do for now.”
Jared stares at the ceiling, not saying anything for a minute. “I can’t believe we forgot about him. He’s my friend and he saved you and we forgot about him.”
They didn’t forget about him. They just had other things to think about. But Jensen understands what Jared is saying. “We will help him. We will get him out of there, I promise.”
“I believe you.”
***
It’s morning when Jensen opens his eyes again. He’s still wrapped around Jared like a giant bow. A very interested bow that is poking Jared’s hip. He focuses all his attention on the nearest nipple, lapping and nibbling and sucking until Jared’s hands settle on Jensen’s hips and shift him so that he’s seated just above Jared’s groin.
Grinning, Jensen asks, “Wanna go again before we join Chris and Steve?”
He reaches over to the bedside table and picks up a bottle of lube. “Don’t mention Chris when we’re about to have sex. He might hear his name and come running.”
“I don’t think he has that good of hearing,” Jensen replies, but he’s distracted by the way Jared flexes his fingers while pouring the oily liquid over them.
“Don’t want to take the chance.”
Jensen leans forward as Jared reaches behind him to start opening him up. He feels so delightfully slutty when he spreads his legs wider and thrust his ass up for Jared to have easier access.
“You’re going to ride me,” Jared says between kisses and licks to Jensen’s chest. “You’re going to love it, and you’re going to look so good doing it.”
Jared’s right. He’s going to do it. He’s going to enjoy it. Because this is where he belongs. Home be damned; he’s not going anywhere.
Part 1 | Part 3