Fic: 'What's On?'
Title: What’s On?
Author: Never
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle, Xander/Spike, Marcus/Neroon, McKay/Sheppard, Brendon/Spencer
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Warning: Slash. Could probably be considered crack.
Summary: Just a couple of guys sitting on a couch watching TV.
Author’s Notes: My Muse should be shot for this. It’s kind of a crossover between some of my most recent (and most intense) fandoms: The Professionals, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Babylon 5, Stargate: Atlantis, and bandom.
***
“Come on, sunshine,” Bodie held a hand out for Doyle, who was lying on the floor after a particularly bad beating by Macklin.
Doyle groaned as he used his partner’s hand to pull himself up. “Are we done yet?”
At last showing a bit of mercy, Macklin called for a break.
Bodie placed a hand on Doyle’s arm, guiding him over to the military-style bunks at the far end of the training warehouse. “Have a seat, mate.” The last kick Macklin gave Doyle, combined with the way Doyle was holding his ribs worried Bodie.
“Stop mothering, you dumb crud,” Doyle glared up at Bodie through curls weighted down by sweat and dirt.
With a smile, Bodie sat down with his thighs touching Doyle’s. “Guess it can’t be too bad if you can still snap like that.”
***
“And why are we watching this again?” Xander asked, pausing The Professionals DVD.
“This is classic BBC! Two blokes running around beating, kicking, and shooting people. Wot more can ya ask for?”
Xander’s lips pursed. “Um, better choreographed fight sequences?”
“Shut yer blasphemin’ mouth, pet.”
“At least the guys are hot…and those thick British accents are the sexiest thing I’ve heard in a while.”
“Oi! Wot have I got?”
“Yours is too watered down.” Xander shook his head, internally grinning at the expression on Spike’s face. “Not as sexy.”
“I’ll show ya who’s sexy!”
***
“Xander’s right, you know,” Marcus nodded towards the viewscreen.
Beside him, Neroon turned his head slightly towards the human, but didn’t say anything.
“British accents have long been known to be sexy.”
“Have they?”
“Oh yes. It’s a well known fact. Just take me for example,” Marcus said in a more pronounced British accent than usual.
Neroon studied the Anla Shoc a moment before the side of his mouth quirked up. “That may be, however, I may require more evidence before I accept this as fact.”
“And I shall be happy to help. As you know, we Rangers will stop at nothing in the pursuit of truth. We live for the One, we die for the One.”
Eyes narrowed, Neroon’s hand fisted in Marcus’ black robe and pulled him closer. “Don’t bring Delenn up when we are about to…pursue truth.”
***
“I still can’t believe you brought Babylon 5 to the Pegasus Galaxy as your one personal item.” Lt. Col. John Sheppard rolled his eyes away from his companion on the couch.
Rodney huffed. “Just because your miniscule, military brain can’t comprehend Babylon 5’s utter brilliance. It has it all: intricate plotlines, fascinating alien species, elaborate conspiracies…”
“And the sexual tension between a hot alien and a sexy human has nothing to do with it, right?”
Rodney’s lips thinned as he glared at his lover. Reaching over, he stole the bowl of popcorn from John’s lap. “That may be your reason for watching a show, but it’s not mine.”
John threw an arm around Rodney’s shoulder and nuzzled his neck. “Come on, Rodney. Admit it. You think Marcus and Neroon together are sexy; hell, I don’t care what species Neroon is, I’d sleep with him.”
“Yes, but you’re a space slut.” However, when John moved the bowl of popcorn aside and nudged Rodney onto his back, he didn’t complain.
***
“John Sheppard really is a space slut,” Brendon agreed with the TV, then turned towards Spencer. “I mean, he sleeps with everyone he comes across. He even had sex with a chick made of light!”
Spence shrugged, not taking his eyes off of the TV screen.
“Do you think he has space crabs or the space clap or something?”
“They have STDs in the Pegasus Galaxy?” Spence asked.
“Of course! They have lots of aliens, so they have to have lots of alien sex. Lots of alien sex equals alien STDs. Oh, I wonder what alien STDs would be like.”
Spence finally gave up on watching the show and turned in his seat to face Brendon. “I would guess like they are here. I mean, they’re mostly humans in the Pegasus Galaxy, so that would imply similar diseases. Fuck, Sheppard’s probably spread his STDs halfway across that galaxy by now.”
“You’re probably right.” Brendon leaned forward to kiss Spence, then decided to lick Spencer’s cheek too. “You’re, like, really smart, Spencer Smith. If I ever go to another galaxy, you’re totally going to be my one personal item.”
end
Author: Never
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle, Xander/Spike, Marcus/Neroon, McKay/Sheppard, Brendon/Spencer
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: So not mine.
Warning: Slash. Could probably be considered crack.
Summary: Just a couple of guys sitting on a couch watching TV.
Author’s Notes: My Muse should be shot for this. It’s kind of a crossover between some of my most recent (and most intense) fandoms: The Professionals, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Babylon 5, Stargate: Atlantis, and bandom.
***
“Come on, sunshine,” Bodie held a hand out for Doyle, who was lying on the floor after a particularly bad beating by Macklin.
Doyle groaned as he used his partner’s hand to pull himself up. “Are we done yet?”
At last showing a bit of mercy, Macklin called for a break.
Bodie placed a hand on Doyle’s arm, guiding him over to the military-style bunks at the far end of the training warehouse. “Have a seat, mate.” The last kick Macklin gave Doyle, combined with the way Doyle was holding his ribs worried Bodie.
“Stop mothering, you dumb crud,” Doyle glared up at Bodie through curls weighted down by sweat and dirt.
With a smile, Bodie sat down with his thighs touching Doyle’s. “Guess it can’t be too bad if you can still snap like that.”
***
“And why are we watching this again?” Xander asked, pausing The Professionals DVD.
“This is classic BBC! Two blokes running around beating, kicking, and shooting people. Wot more can ya ask for?”
Xander’s lips pursed. “Um, better choreographed fight sequences?”
“Shut yer blasphemin’ mouth, pet.”
“At least the guys are hot…and those thick British accents are the sexiest thing I’ve heard in a while.”
“Oi! Wot have I got?”
“Yours is too watered down.” Xander shook his head, internally grinning at the expression on Spike’s face. “Not as sexy.”
“I’ll show ya who’s sexy!”
***
“Xander’s right, you know,” Marcus nodded towards the viewscreen.
Beside him, Neroon turned his head slightly towards the human, but didn’t say anything.
“British accents have long been known to be sexy.”
“Have they?”
“Oh yes. It’s a well known fact. Just take me for example,” Marcus said in a more pronounced British accent than usual.
Neroon studied the Anla Shoc a moment before the side of his mouth quirked up. “That may be, however, I may require more evidence before I accept this as fact.”
“And I shall be happy to help. As you know, we Rangers will stop at nothing in the pursuit of truth. We live for the One, we die for the One.”
Eyes narrowed, Neroon’s hand fisted in Marcus’ black robe and pulled him closer. “Don’t bring Delenn up when we are about to…pursue truth.”
***
“I still can’t believe you brought Babylon 5 to the Pegasus Galaxy as your one personal item.” Lt. Col. John Sheppard rolled his eyes away from his companion on the couch.
Rodney huffed. “Just because your miniscule, military brain can’t comprehend Babylon 5’s utter brilliance. It has it all: intricate plotlines, fascinating alien species, elaborate conspiracies…”
“And the sexual tension between a hot alien and a sexy human has nothing to do with it, right?”
Rodney’s lips thinned as he glared at his lover. Reaching over, he stole the bowl of popcorn from John’s lap. “That may be your reason for watching a show, but it’s not mine.”
John threw an arm around Rodney’s shoulder and nuzzled his neck. “Come on, Rodney. Admit it. You think Marcus and Neroon together are sexy; hell, I don’t care what species Neroon is, I’d sleep with him.”
“Yes, but you’re a space slut.” However, when John moved the bowl of popcorn aside and nudged Rodney onto his back, he didn’t complain.
***
“John Sheppard really is a space slut,” Brendon agreed with the TV, then turned towards Spencer. “I mean, he sleeps with everyone he comes across. He even had sex with a chick made of light!”
Spence shrugged, not taking his eyes off of the TV screen.
“Do you think he has space crabs or the space clap or something?”
“They have STDs in the Pegasus Galaxy?” Spence asked.
“Of course! They have lots of aliens, so they have to have lots of alien sex. Lots of alien sex equals alien STDs. Oh, I wonder what alien STDs would be like.”
Spence finally gave up on watching the show and turned in his seat to face Brendon. “I would guess like they are here. I mean, they’re mostly humans in the Pegasus Galaxy, so that would imply similar diseases. Fuck, Sheppard’s probably spread his STDs halfway across that galaxy by now.”
“You’re probably right.” Brendon leaned forward to kiss Spence, then decided to lick Spencer’s cheek too. “You’re, like, really smart, Spencer Smith. If I ever go to another galaxy, you’re totally going to be my one personal item.”
end