All I wanted was for you to love me
mmhm thats three now.
I currently have 2 people mad at me
Atleast 1 thats not speaking to me
1 thinking I'm stupid
about 93875932 that I'm jealous of
(5 that really stick out)
I feel neglected
unloved
undesirving
ugly
I think a good cry would come in handy right now(not the first time this thought has crossed my mind in the last 24 hours)
I think my sarcasm/bitchyness is being mistaken for strait out rudeness/meanness way to often lately.
I dont like that
Part of me wants to stop being that way
Part of me thinks If I do I'll lose myself
and everything that makes me smile
forever
Someone who barely even knows me told me that I hate to smile.
I hate that someone has that perception of me
because I absolutly adore smiling.
I wish I were smiling now.
I dont think any of my LJ entrys we're related tonight. At all.
I wish you were here to talk to me.
I wish my grandpa were here.
I wish I could atleast pretend to be all together
I suck big time!
I wish I werent so focused on my problems and misfortunes lately.
Then maybe I'd be able to pay attention to yours
and not be such a horrible friend
Maybe then I could listen to you
really listen
I'm sorry
"Is this what you want
No words at all
Silent but sure of the things that you lost
Take all your words
To cover your lies
Secrets won't coat all your tears and your cries"-Amber Pacific
I currently have 2 people mad at me
Atleast 1 thats not speaking to me
1 thinking I'm stupid
about 93875932 that I'm jealous of
(5 that really stick out)
I feel neglected
unloved
undesirving
ugly
I think a good cry would come in handy right now(not the first time this thought has crossed my mind in the last 24 hours)
I think my sarcasm/bitchyness is being mistaken for strait out rudeness/meanness way to often lately.
I dont like that
Part of me wants to stop being that way
Part of me thinks If I do I'll lose myself
and everything that makes me smile
forever
Someone who barely even knows me told me that I hate to smile.
I hate that someone has that perception of me
because I absolutly adore smiling.
I wish I were smiling now.
I dont think any of my LJ entrys we're related tonight. At all.
I wish you were here to talk to me.
I wish my grandpa were here.
I wish I could atleast pretend to be all together
I suck big time!
I wish I werent so focused on my problems and misfortunes lately.
Then maybe I'd be able to pay attention to yours
and not be such a horrible friend
Maybe then I could listen to you
really listen
I'm sorry
"Is this what you want
No words at all
Silent but sure of the things that you lost
Take all your words
To cover your lies
Secrets won't coat all your tears and your cries"-Amber Pacific