ITS MY BIRTHDAY...
I woke up from sleeping veryyyy bad, I had several dreams in which Ernie was involved. I woke up and threw up once, went back to sleep and woke up crying... You know those dreams where you wake up and you don't know the difference between sleeping and being awake? Everything feels so real. I never miss him or want him, but today is different.
Its my birthday and I really didn't think this would be an obstacle... He's been here for this day the last 3 years, leaving trails of roses, putting up signs on my window, making his whole family call me, giving me huge presents, and just making my day...
I'm not comparing. Erick is wonderful - and really the person who God wants me to be with... Its just the dreams felt so real, and I was hurting so bad. Ernie tried to come back in one, then I threw up - go figure. The other he had come over to show me a new truck he bought and then he took me to his friends house cause a bunch of girls had moved in with him and a firefighter buddy he was living with... and I remember look up at him and saying "oh how convinient, now you can fuck them everynight..." I woke up a mess, crying, and feeling like shit.
Its ok. Life goes on... I've moved on, I just couldn't help him coming back in my dreams to haunt me. He has no other way, just the way I can't control... To come back and hurt me.
O well I pray that my day gets better...
Its my birthday and I really didn't think this would be an obstacle... He's been here for this day the last 3 years, leaving trails of roses, putting up signs on my window, making his whole family call me, giving me huge presents, and just making my day...
I'm not comparing. Erick is wonderful - and really the person who God wants me to be with... Its just the dreams felt so real, and I was hurting so bad. Ernie tried to come back in one, then I threw up - go figure. The other he had come over to show me a new truck he bought and then he took me to his friends house cause a bunch of girls had moved in with him and a firefighter buddy he was living with... and I remember look up at him and saying "oh how convinient, now you can fuck them everynight..." I woke up a mess, crying, and feeling like shit.
Its ok. Life goes on... I've moved on, I just couldn't help him coming back in my dreams to haunt me. He has no other way, just the way I can't control... To come back and hurt me.
O well I pray that my day gets better...