This Time I'm Leaving... I Guess
Chris and Tyler go back to Miami tomorrow. Without me. I didn't know how sad I would be, but I am. I'm empty. I feel out of place, like how could I not be there with them? How could I have given that up? Of course I forget how lonely I was and how they never came to visit me. Forget all about how Chris would go into one of his moody phases and my feelings would get hurt, how he hasn't talked to me in almost two months. I'm going to miss them. They were like my family. There has never been a place I felt more at home than in that room. And now that special place for me is gone. Because I gave it up. It was a choice. One I'm not sure why I made, but there is no going back now. Even if I wanted to I couldn't get my scholarsips back. I know I don't belong there, but still I miss it and I can't bear the thought of what I've lost. I wanted to fit it. I wanted to be successful and find my niche, and be happy and get the guy and make my life what (thinking back) I imagine it could have been. I need to be strong now. Things will get better. Things will get better. Things will.. get.... better.