so may things to think about

[nevaeh78]

Someone once told me that love was too commercialized. He said that girls have this idea that some prince charming is going to come and sweep them off their feet because that is what society has taught them to believe.  I told him he was full of shit.  Then, when I really thought about it, I realized he's right.  Everyone time I find a good guy I

Comments

[billee91]

aye...you KNOW how I am Jen, and I feel the same way you do. I actually had a convo with Lahela, this past weekend about the whole having kids thing.

I said that yeah, I agree with the whole there are to many people on this planet anyway, and the whole theory I have about animals I apply to humans. It's the way I look at things...but then I also admitted...for the first time ever out loud. "I'm afraid of messing them up. I'm afraid of not having enough money to support them, or send them to college. At least alone, the only persons' life I mess up is my own....and if by the time i'm 40 i'm financially and mentally ready, I'll adopt".

I know how you feel...I used to have that family pressure with my grandmother. Not my mom really, she likes that I travel, live alone, live for me, etc...She even says "i'm still too young for you to make me a grandma"...but my grandmother...oohwee...when she met brian she fell in love. Told me I should submit, take care of him, be nicer or ELSE i'd lose him...that he was about the best I'd ever get...man, I just told her "if he loves me he'll love me how am (bitchy and demanding) i'm not going to change for him. if you like him so much you marry him" She would go on about how a man wants a woman they depend on...not one who is always out and about moving and stuff...that I was a "vaga"...well whatever...I LOVE my life, and that I think too highly of myself to settle or change. I'm not saying brian isn't a good catch or that he doesn't or wouldn't put up with me...

Anyway, you have to remember that they (our parents and grandparents) lived in very different times then we do. We're much more independent than they were. times seemed simple back in the days...but seriously...I wonder how many women yearned to live life unconventionally the way we can now.

I know you wish you had moms support....but if you can't don't blame her...she's the product of that society you just mentioned....

[nevaeh78]

Ya I know she is. I asked her once if she had that chance would she want to travel and see the world. Her response was, "No, I'm happy with my life the way it is" I told her that she was missing so much but we don't see eye to eye on things like that. She gave the example of a man with a family striving to reach the top. A man that wouldnt be happy till he was on top (of a company or something). Then, one day he dies and he was never fully happy. Then, she says, there is a person like me, (her) that doesnt strive for much and is happy with what she has and dies happy because she had everything she wanted in life. I didnt know what to say about that. I said I'd die happy knowing that I at least tried everything I wanted to even if I didnt fully accomplish what I wanted. If I didnt try, I'd be unhappy always thinking what if. If she's not going to be happy for me I'd just wish she'd keep her comments and cara's to herself :(

My mom is the same way your grams is. She thinks I need to be submissive and shit. That just aint me. My grams is actually more supportive. She loves to travel just as much as I do. To tell you the truth, I really think my mom is a little jealous of everything that I've done with my life. Sad huh?

I totally hear you on fucking up your kids. That is a big concern with me being that my biological father was an ass with a heavy hand. I'm so afraid to repeat that pattern :(