O My Goodness! Writing Project!
o_my_goodness is celebrating her first anniversary with a group writing project. We're supposed to share something good on our blogs. Many of the topics I would cover have already shown up on my flist. So let me instead do something quick that I'm working through myself.
Lately I've had to deal with a lot of difficult people in one way or another. Some of these people just really know how to press my buttons and I feel the frustration and annoyance building up.
The only thing that has seemed to calm me through this is just reminding myself that when people are rude it tends to not really be about me. Maybe this guy is having a rotten day, maybe he had a fight with his wife, maybe he's mad at an entire group of people (help desk folks, women, vegans, whatever) and is taking it out on me because he sees me as a representative of that group. Maybe he's just a nasty bully.
I'm trying really hard to tell myself that instead of leaping back in and engaging with rude people, that I should just say to myself "thank you for showing me who you really are before I invest any more energy in helping you." Because when people mistreat us, it's hard to handle, we feel victimized of course. But at least we know. We know we don't have to be like that. We know that now we should avoid that person. Somehow his requests keep getting moved to the bottom of the stack. I'll do my work of course, it's just that someone who yells at me for no reason or acts like a bully doesn't get priority.
I remember that I have a husband and friends and furry animal kids who all love me. I can't let someone's rudeness ruin my day. It's not about me, it has nothing to do with me. It's all about them, so I'm handing it all, the negativity, the nastiness back to them in this sense, by knowing it's their problem, not mine.