(no subject)
I decided to review the movies I put on that list a while back after I watch a few of them and post them in case anyone is interested. so here they are.
P.S. I tried to make my ranking system as unclear and confusing as possible.
no country for old men:
It certainly helped that my brother was watching it with me, as I would have lost a lot of the meaning. I was my customary tired self after smoking a bowl, and it was something like midnight. Just to set the ambiance.
The villian guy (Sasha or something hilariously girly) apparently personifies evil and the unbiased inevitability of death. On its basic level it is a Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee kind of thing, except if Chuck Norris was named Sasha and was evil personified and Bruce Lee was kind of tough but was really just fucking lucky.
All in all I really liked it, cause I'm still at that stage where I go "OHHHH FUUUUCCCKKK" when I noticed there's no background music in the whole thing or when I realize there is deeper meaning than just bowl cuts and hillbillies.
My ranking: YEE HAW
moulin rouge
One of the worst movies ever. I don't feel like elaborating, even though this is a review post. Tee hee.
My rating: foghorn :(
inglourious basterds:
This random skeevy picture of a lake troll Quentin Tarantino (but seriously, try finding one that isn't skeevy. for real. there's a whole album on zimbio of him grinding on some blond chick) that I legitly google imaged just now should speak for itself. But in case it doesn't, try reading any other journal entry in my journal. Ever.
My Rating: Seriously, Quentin. I am still looking through google images wondering how you managed to blatantly do these things with a camera within 2 feet of you.
Multitasking. A+
being john malkovich
FUCKING
John Cusack, a dirty long haired puppeteer. Cameron Diaz, a ratty haired girl turned transgender. The plot is like Alice in Wonderland, except imagine the plot ending as soon as Alice goes through the hole and realize she's in the head of John Malkovich doing mundane shit like ordering bath towels. And imagine Alice getting really fucking excited about it. Now imagine anything that could possibly happen after that, and then you have Being John Malkovich.
My Rating: 5 golden stars and a knowing wink
lock stock and two smoking barrels
If Tarantino were English. A lot of it is you just laughing even though you don't know what the fuck 90% of the slang means. It's a clusterfuck, and is therefore my kind of movie. The kind where I go "this is gonna be a clusterfuck!" and kick something in excitement and cause a huge embarassing scene.
Definitely a classic.
My Review: Two nods and a whistle at the attractive woman walking by
bolt
cute, like a jiggly man breast.
My Review: Three John Travoltas way way up!
dawn of the dead
Apparently the one I watched was the remake? And apparently the original was way way scarier? All I can say is, how many scenes do you need where people are shooting zombies? While I realize it's a goddamn zombie apocalypse and there is an excess of guns lying around, what exactly do you expect when they all run out of the mall with shotguns for the sixtieth time? Suprise, the parking lot is overrun with clowns this time!
Also watched Land of the Dead right after, making me realize that things could always get horrifically worse.
My Review: The boring english teacher that is not as much of a dick as your other teachers so you just have to deal with them.
curious case of benjamin button
I would touch myself to his picture and a picture of his personality if that was actually possible.
I didn't much like the love parts, especially since I'm prejudiced against hipster gingers and I'm apparently the grinch, but it was still very very good. The end made up for all the parts I didn't like. See it if you're feeling contemplative or if you took an aphrodisiac and are cool with just being ok for about an hour but then getting really horny and then calming down again at the end.
My Review: Brad Pitt
wall-e
My favorite fictional couple is an iPod and a tiny tractor.
My Review: Watch it if you want to cry with joy like a tiny, pathetic man child
kill bill
actual scene
I actually had seen the first one. It was the second one I needed to see. So don't judge me.
My Review: 4 stars. I'll give it 5 stars the day that I grow a penis
step brothers
Eh.
My Rating: Eh.
40 year old virgin
pictured: a much better, wittier movie
steve carell, I love you but that was anus
My Review: Anus
Reservoir Dogs
I love google images
I saw it already, but it was a long time ago. It was one of those movies you see as a child and are frightened by any prospect of the related material that you encounter ever again. I never looked at diamond thieves the same way.
But now I rewatched it and laughed. Laughed for my childhood.
My Review: Trust diamond thieves! :D
P.S. I tried to make my ranking system as unclear and confusing as possible.
no country for old men:
It certainly helped that my brother was watching it with me, as I would have lost a lot of the meaning. I was my customary tired self after smoking a bowl, and it was something like midnight. Just to set the ambiance.
The villian guy (Sasha or something hilariously girly) apparently personifies evil and the unbiased inevitability of death. On its basic level it is a Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee kind of thing, except if Chuck Norris was named Sasha and was evil personified and Bruce Lee was kind of tough but was really just fucking lucky.
All in all I really liked it, cause I'm still at that stage where I go "OHHHH FUUUUCCCKKK" when I noticed there's no background music in the whole thing or when I realize there is deeper meaning than just bowl cuts and hillbillies.
My ranking: YEE HAW
moulin rouge
One of the worst movies ever. I don't feel like elaborating, even though this is a review post. Tee hee.
My rating: foghorn :(
inglourious basterds:
This random skeevy picture of a lake troll Quentin Tarantino (but seriously, try finding one that isn't skeevy. for real. there's a whole album on zimbio of him grinding on some blond chick) that I legitly google imaged just now should speak for itself. But in case it doesn't, try reading any other journal entry in my journal. Ever.
My Rating: Seriously, Quentin. I am still looking through google images wondering how you managed to blatantly do these things with a camera within 2 feet of you.
Multitasking. A+
being john malkovich
FUCKING
John Cusack, a dirty long haired puppeteer. Cameron Diaz, a ratty haired girl turned transgender. The plot is like Alice in Wonderland, except imagine the plot ending as soon as Alice goes through the hole and realize she's in the head of John Malkovich doing mundane shit like ordering bath towels. And imagine Alice getting really fucking excited about it. Now imagine anything that could possibly happen after that, and then you have Being John Malkovich.
My Rating: 5 golden stars and a knowing wink
lock stock and two smoking barrels
If Tarantino were English. A lot of it is you just laughing even though you don't know what the fuck 90% of the slang means. It's a clusterfuck, and is therefore my kind of movie. The kind where I go "this is gonna be a clusterfuck!" and kick something in excitement and cause a huge embarassing scene.
Definitely a classic.
My Review: Two nods and a whistle at the attractive woman walking by
bolt
cute, like a jiggly man breast.
My Review: Three John Travoltas way way up!
dawn of the dead
Apparently the one I watched was the remake? And apparently the original was way way scarier? All I can say is, how many scenes do you need where people are shooting zombies? While I realize it's a goddamn zombie apocalypse and there is an excess of guns lying around, what exactly do you expect when they all run out of the mall with shotguns for the sixtieth time? Suprise, the parking lot is overrun with clowns this time!
Also watched Land of the Dead right after, making me realize that things could always get horrifically worse.
My Review: The boring english teacher that is not as much of a dick as your other teachers so you just have to deal with them.
curious case of benjamin button
I would touch myself to his picture and a picture of his personality if that was actually possible.
I didn't much like the love parts, especially since I'm prejudiced against hipster gingers and I'm apparently the grinch, but it was still very very good. The end made up for all the parts I didn't like. See it if you're feeling contemplative or if you took an aphrodisiac and are cool with just being ok for about an hour but then getting really horny and then calming down again at the end.
My Review: Brad Pitt
wall-e
My favorite fictional couple is an iPod and a tiny tractor.
My Review: Watch it if you want to cry with joy like a tiny, pathetic man child
kill bill
actual scene
I actually had seen the first one. It was the second one I needed to see. So don't judge me.
My Review: 4 stars. I'll give it 5 stars the day that I grow a penis
step brothers
Eh.
My Rating: Eh.
40 year old virgin
pictured: a much better, wittier movie
steve carell, I love you but that was anus
My Review: Anus
Reservoir Dogs
I love google images
I saw it already, but it was a long time ago. It was one of those movies you see as a child and are frightened by any prospect of the related material that you encounter ever again. I never looked at diamond thieves the same way.
But now I rewatched it and laughed. Laughed for my childhood.
My Review: Trust diamond thieves! :D