a "gift" from the sleep gods

[neutralrobotboy]

today when i got up, i had a "brilliant" idea for a character in a tv show. his name? sargeant major surgery. some jokes:

SMS = sargeant major surgery
p1, p2, etc = person 1, person 2, ...

***
p1: sargeant major surgery did WHAT?!?! why'd you let him do that?
p2: he's a sargeant major, sir! i thought he had clearance!
p1: you fool! he's only a sargeant!
***

***
[later...]
p1: what in blazes is sargeant major surgery doing here?
p2: he belongs here. he's a sargeant, sir!
p1: that's just his NAME, you idiot!
***

***
SMS: tell me, private! where did billy go?
p1: sargeant! major surgery!
SMS: yes, that's me! now tell me where billy went!
p1: yes, sargeant! major surgery!
SMS: drop and give me 20! *moves to the next person*
SMS: ok, *you* tell me! where's billy?
p2: major surgery, sargeant!
SMS: THAT'S *SARGEANT* MAJOR SURGERY TO YOU, CADET! now tell me where billy went!
p2: he's getting major surgery, sargeant!
SMS: *i'm* major surgery! i'm right here! you better start makin' sense or *you'll* need major surgery!
p2: but sargeant!
SMS: that's sargeant major to you, cadet!
p2: but sargeant major! i don't need you -- you're right here!
SMS: you think you're clever? drop and give me 20! *moves to the next person*
SMS: now, you better start talkin' or there's gonna be big trouble! where's billy, boy?
p3: *i'm* billy-boy!
SMS: what is your major malfunction? i just want to know --
p3: major malfunction? he's in major surgery.
SMS: WHAT?!?!?! you callin' me a queer, boy?
p3: that's billy-boy, sir.
SMS: i don't care about your name, maggot! me 'n' major malfunction's just good friends, that's all! DROP AND GIVE ME 20! *moves on to next person*
SMS: ok, for the last time! i want to know where billy is!
p4: he's being operated on, sir...
***