Actually, the entry was really clear to me and I really liked it. I don't really know what to say in response, other than that I'm in the process of trying to understand myself too and I found this pretty insightful.
thanks :) i'm glad you understood it. ohhh, you need to tell me when you aren't so busy. i'm taking time away from the house for reasons of my own sanity, and trying not to entirely destroy how i feel about the house. but you should come here! any time you want, just knock on the door, and if i'm here, we'll talk, or go out for ice cream or something like that. <3
Yeah, I think we should hang out alone and stuff because I've been dying to talk to you for ages now. Are you free friday evening? Or any time this weekend is fine too. Are you at Trevor's place now? I'm in Colvin 65 in the Rahps and you're welcome to come here anytime you want also. :)
yup yup, i live in Trevor's. And I think I'll be free tomorrow evening. I work until six, technically, but it might not actually happen that way - Fridays are slow days in the flower industry.
I've always found that once I realize why it is that I do something, when I discover, as you said, the subconcious reasons for "bad" behavior, or a way that I respond or act that I don't approve of, it almost immediately goes away. My solution is found within my why.
I think i've found for me that the whys help, but don't always fix. I get very upset when i do things i consider irrational, even though i know why i'm doing them. Sometimes knowing why makes it easier to handle, but it doesn't always keep me from whatever the "bad" behavior was.
It's not just the "whys" for the actions, but understanding and accepting the feelings. Like, if you know why you're doing the irrational things, I'd say just try not to be so upset at yourself. Now that you know why you're doing them, you can forgive yourself. Try to take comfort in the knowledge that you can work on it now, too. :) Actually, that was one of the things I meant to talk about in that entry and ended up leaving out. That it's so important to just remember that it's okay - you're only human, and you're doing the best you can. The "bad" behavior goes away eventually.
It's like that for a lot of people, I've heard. When I took Asian Philosophies, that was one of the things we discussed when we were doing the unit on Buddhism. The point of meditation is to kind of figure out why you do the things you do and why you feel the things you feel, and so often just knowing that makes things a lot better. I did my paper on Buddhism and Gestalt therapy, because in studying buddhism i'd noticed a lot of similarities to gestalt therapy. Gestalt therapy is actually partially based on Zen buddhism - which was extremely cool to learn.
I was reminded of that because I remember my professor saying more or less exactly what you just said.
I should have emphasized more in the entry that it's just *so* important to be in touch with your feelings. Once you've intellectually labeled a "cause" or "reason" or whatever, then try to apply it when you encounter the situation. I find that sometimes I have a theory about myself that seems completely plausible, but when try to apply it in the moment, when I'm feeling, it doesn't quite fit. Eventually one of them just feels right, and it sticks.
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I don't really know what to say in response, other than that I'm in the process of trying to understand myself too and I found this pretty insightful.
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ohhh, you need to tell me when you aren't so busy. i'm taking time away from the house for reasons of my own sanity, and trying not to entirely destroy how i feel about the house. but you should come here! any time you want, just knock on the door, and if i'm here, we'll talk, or go out for ice cream or something like that. <3
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Actually, that was one of the things I meant to talk about in that entry and ended up leaving out. That it's so important to just remember that it's okay - you're only human, and you're doing the best you can. The "bad" behavior goes away eventually.
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I was reminded of that because I remember my professor saying more or less exactly what you just said.
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