I often get questioned as to why I plan on having an unassisted childbirth, and what exactly it is. There are several women here on Open Diary who are planning UC's and a couple who have already successfully given birth without any intervention or assistance.
Unassisted birth isn't a new trend. God made our bodies to give birth. He has installed all the tools we need within us to do this successfully on our own. My body knows how to digest food and dispose of it on its own. It does not require assistance. It does not need me, or anyone else for that matter, instructing it on how to go about doing so. No one needed to inform my husband's sperm to swim like crazy and fertilize my egg. It knows what to do. It knows how to do it..... obviously, since I'm pregnant.
Our bodies have such amazing abilities. It has always been my belief, a belief I inherited from my mother that proves to be true, that we depend too much on medications and doctors to "fix" us, rather than relying on the natural remedies God has sprung up from the ground. I am by no means saying medications and doctors are useless, far from it, but too often we want the "quick fix", instead of altering our diets, our lifestyles, and our thinking to become healthier, heartier beings.
Think of all the amazing things your body does on a daily basis... and without anyone's guidance! Our blood pumps through us, our body fights disease and infection, we breathe without consciously telling ourselves to inhale and exhale. Our body is able to heal the scrapes and scratches, mend the tears and gashes. So many things work together to make our bodies function- and yet, we don't even realize it.
So, with all of this, why do we believe we cannot birth a child without assistance?
Now, let me make this clear. I am not the type of person who is pushy with my beliefs. While I wish more people were open to natural methods, I understand that we all make mistakes because we don't understand, we cannot comprehend, or we are not well-informed. Many people who go on to have successful natural births (at home, at the hospital, or at a birth center), often had previous traumatic birth experiences they desperately wanted to avoid. Therefore, they researched and researched until their eyeballs just about fell out of their noggins. They changed their thinking. They changed their view of birth. They changed their approach to birth. And in doing so, they changed the birth experience itself.
While some women prefer to birth completely alone, it is my desire, and the desire of many UCers, to labor and birth with their husband by their side. It has been said, the family that UCs together, stays together. Why is this? Ask anyone who has experienced a natural homebirth where the woman is confident in the ability of her body to birth a baby, and they will tell you. It's spiritual. It's intimate. It's amazing.
My husband was not particularly involved with my first labor and birth. He held one of my hands (my dad held the other), but it was my parents who did all of the encouraging, who gave all of the support. It was my parents who blocked the nurses, set up a chain of protection around me, and fought to give me the natural birth I wanted.
Unfortunately, because I was uninformed, because I was in an uncomfortable environment, because I labored mostly on my back.... (I had done some pushing squatting, but by then it was too late).. my lovely daughter lodged her head in my pelvis. I received a "saddleblock" (a shot of painkiller which numbs the parts of the body that would touch a saddle), and my little girl was retrieved with forceps.
I had gone 12 hours without any food, except for a couple slices of pickle, a cracker my mom had snuck into the room, and a rainbow popcicle. How in the world did they expect me to successfully give birth if I wasn't successfully nourished? It is no wonder that by the time I was in very, extremely active "here she comes" labor, that I had absolutely no energy to do anything.
Hubby became more involved with my second birth, and for that I am thankful. However, he was a bit irritating to me and the family in the last couple weeks of my pregnancy, because he was sick of the "is this labor?" false alarms. The ups and downs were too much for him. He'd get excited, thinking this was it, and then we'd realize the time had not yet come.
My husband is just as eager and excited to have an unassisted homebirth as I am. He knows that neither of us will have to panic about being prepared, bags being packed, kids having a place to go before we head off to the birthcenter (as we had previously opted to do). He knows that neither of us will worry about whether it's "the real thing", whether I'm really in labor or not.
He won't have to fight with midwives, doctors, or nurses for a place by my side. He won't have to listen to anyone telling me to push, push, push.. even when I'm clearly not ready to push, push, push.
Both of us will be in a comfortable, familiar environment. There will be no rush. No hurry to birth the baby, cut the cord, clean him off. When he is born, I can hold him right away, cord still connected. (There's a very good reason we've chosen to delay cord cutting. I've posted links at the bottom of the page.) I can breastfeed him within seconds or minutes of his birth. There will be no one to snatch him away from me, measure him, weigh him, poke and prod him.
We can patiently wait for the placenta to be birthed. No tugging or pulling for an unnatural, premature detachment (which leads to hemorrhage). It's almost as if time stands still in this process. Time is not important.
So, in review, several things that are important to me:
1. Time not being a factor. Laboring and giving birth in my body's own time, not anyone else's.
2. Being able to nourish my body throughout labor in order to gain strength and withstand any pain. (Contractions themselves are not that painful. However, when those muscles become exhausted, it becomes a painful chore.)
3. Chosing the position that feels best on my body and in the efforts of birthing a baby, and especially in avoiding vaginal/perineal tears.
4. Having a waterbirth, not only for the comfort and ease factor on my own body, but for the baby's softer and less startling transition into this world.
5. Having my husband by my side, experiencing the beauty and ease of childbirth as it was meant to be, and strengthening the bond of our relationship.
6. Being able to lose myself in my own body and the experience, and trusting the capabilities of my body.
7. Having a less painful and less exhausting labor and birth, and likely a shorter labor and birth as well.
8. Being able to collapse into my own bed with my newborn instead of being transferred to another hospital room.
9. Not having my experience controlled by anyone, even myself, but allowing it to flow naturally.
10. And of course, the HIGH of giving birth, naturally, with all of my body's chemicals acting and reacting as they should!
Now, these are just a few of the MANY reasons why I have decided on an unassisted, unhindered, intervention-free natural birth. If I wrote everything in detail, I'd have a novel.
Honestly, this is the only place where I am this open about my choice. I choose not to tell my friends and most of my family because I do not have the energy to explain it all, and I do not wish to have negativity injected into my choice by those I sincerely love.
Negative thoughts WILL negatively affect a birth. Positive thinking, along with knowledge, is powerful in having a wonderful birth experience.
A Few Links
Why Delay Cord Clamping/Cutting?Information, Inspiration, Photos, and Birth Stories