feeling neurotic
Another bitch.. still hate David... Cant go five minutes without imagining what hes writting about me online... more nasty stuff I forsee. It never stops. Maybe if I look deep enough I could find self confidance. Im not sure anymore. Kinda the case of no body loves me. At least not my dads family who believe they are gods gift to humanity. Earliest memory of my cousin was of him telling my grandma that he was a genius and I wasn't.. Ha ha... I may not be a genius but I do have saying that I had above average grasp of words and their usage... or something like that. I'm a girl so I was born to talk I guess. Where oh where did my brains go. Oh well I don't care any more.
I just keep having teeny weird little visions of David tapping away at the computor telling his girlfriend how hard done by he is only getting $5 for the dishes... Or that I hung the birdseed wrong and the bird could easily hang himself. What I read when I had the opportunity, was mostly about him loving and caring for that bird. Funny how it didn't even know its name or really didnt give a rats ass that it 'hadn't been named' as he so smuggly put it.
This is driving me bonkers.Priisoner in my own home, and not even any websites that deal with my kind of situation. This is more than a brother/sister fight. Theres a lot more involved.. Well theres my peice. Fuck David, Fuck people and role plays that like to throw away the weakest link. Fuck webpages and the government and the mediocracy that's been saying us Australians are racist. Fuck families who stick their nose up at people who do exactly the same as themselves.
Before I forget Another Mel dream.. Something about monsters, and trying to get potion to protect myself, whihc turned out to be monsters blood or some shite. This drawing I drew a month back came to life, and I smashed its face against a wall. Almost sure I was going to die, with Melissa in my arms... Amazingly got away.
Some guy rings me up. so I wake up, tell him my parents arent home and go back to sleep.
Im rescuing her a second time, but this time from a school and theres guns.
My mother rings up, I wake up again, tell her im fine, go back to sleep.
Lady from Lukemia foundation rings up. Tell her parents arent home and off to dreamy land again...
Then my mother remembers what she wanted to remind me, so I get awoken again. Finally back to sleep the dude who first rang me, rings me again...
I tell him no ones home yet and go back to sleep.
The door bell rings... and I declare this the worst day of the year...
I just keep having teeny weird little visions of David tapping away at the computor telling his girlfriend how hard done by he is only getting $5 for the dishes... Or that I hung the birdseed wrong and the bird could easily hang himself. What I read when I had the opportunity, was mostly about him loving and caring for that bird. Funny how it didn't even know its name or really didnt give a rats ass that it 'hadn't been named' as he so smuggly put it.
This is driving me bonkers.Priisoner in my own home, and not even any websites that deal with my kind of situation. This is more than a brother/sister fight. Theres a lot more involved.. Well theres my peice. Fuck David, Fuck people and role plays that like to throw away the weakest link. Fuck webpages and the government and the mediocracy that's been saying us Australians are racist. Fuck families who stick their nose up at people who do exactly the same as themselves.
Before I forget Another Mel dream.. Something about monsters, and trying to get potion to protect myself, whihc turned out to be monsters blood or some shite. This drawing I drew a month back came to life, and I smashed its face against a wall. Almost sure I was going to die, with Melissa in my arms... Amazingly got away.
Some guy rings me up. so I wake up, tell him my parents arent home and go back to sleep.
Im rescuing her a second time, but this time from a school and theres guns.
My mother rings up, I wake up again, tell her im fine, go back to sleep.
Lady from Lukemia foundation rings up. Tell her parents arent home and off to dreamy land again...
Then my mother remembers what she wanted to remind me, so I get awoken again. Finally back to sleep the dude who first rang me, rings me again...
I tell him no ones home yet and go back to sleep.
The door bell rings... and I declare this the worst day of the year...