(no subject)
where has everyone gone?
i guess i'll write a little bit about where i'm at... the last few months have been hell for me.. a break up with a guy i had been seeing for about a year 1/2 - we still live together..
i was going to date.. whatever that means.. what does dating mean these days anyway? well.. i ended up getting into another relationship.. just to break up twice with this wonderful guy.. whom i'm still "dating" .. it's just a weird situation..
i feel my borderline personality has been acting up hella bad.. self injury is acting up bad.. even possibly the eating disorder.. sometimes i don't know if i'm doing it on purpose.. or it's just because i'm vegetarian now and it requires more attention to be a vegetarian..
i haven't been able to see a therapist in quite some time due to money.. but i get to see her june 7th.. and i'll only be able to afford to see her once this month.. when really i need to be able to see her once a week.. we'll see how this works out initially..
i've been giving it serious consideration getting myself committed.. to a nicer hospital.. psyc hospital that is.. because i don't want to get better.. i don't want to stop cutting and i don't want to stop starving myself.. and i just don't feel quite right in my head.
i fucking hate being borderline.. i swear it's the worst of any of the other diagnosis.. it's fucking impossible to hold a relationship/friendship together..
why am i fucking freaking out?
love you ladies/and our few guys.. please update more often.. i'd hate to see this community go to waste.
i guess i'll write a little bit about where i'm at... the last few months have been hell for me.. a break up with a guy i had been seeing for about a year 1/2 - we still live together..
i was going to date.. whatever that means.. what does dating mean these days anyway? well.. i ended up getting into another relationship.. just to break up twice with this wonderful guy.. whom i'm still "dating" .. it's just a weird situation..
i feel my borderline personality has been acting up hella bad.. self injury is acting up bad.. even possibly the eating disorder.. sometimes i don't know if i'm doing it on purpose.. or it's just because i'm vegetarian now and it requires more attention to be a vegetarian..
i haven't been able to see a therapist in quite some time due to money.. but i get to see her june 7th.. and i'll only be able to afford to see her once this month.. when really i need to be able to see her once a week.. we'll see how this works out initially..
i've been giving it serious consideration getting myself committed.. to a nicer hospital.. psyc hospital that is.. because i don't want to get better.. i don't want to stop cutting and i don't want to stop starving myself.. and i just don't feel quite right in my head.
i fucking hate being borderline.. i swear it's the worst of any of the other diagnosis.. it's fucking impossible to hold a relationship/friendship together..
why am i fucking freaking out?
love you ladies/and our few guys.. please update more often.. i'd hate to see this community go to waste.