a slightly-belated happy new years everyone!
I always take my new years resolutions seriously. Whether that is more or less serious than I am about any goal, I do not know. I just remember once on a new years eve back when I was a senior in high school, where I made a resolution that I never broke. Now the right side of my brain is telling me that there was nothing special about that day. I was trying vegetarianism for the second time (the first was all of about 4 days, my mom made spaghetti, if I remember right), and I came home from Jay Petrocik's new years party high as hell, and hammered drunk. After I make my way past the puzzle that is my side door, what do I see on the table but some cold-ass leftover frozen appetizers. These little sausage guys wrapped in a flaky crust.
My week or two of vegetarianism was rough to say the least. My entire life up to that point I had little to no use of anything but meat and starches for my main sustanance and I never was very fond of any vegetable particularly. So I broke. I ate all of the little sausage biscuits that had been left out and afterwords, I let out a deep sigh. "They weren't even that good", I thought. Then I thought about the poor pigs and their lives that led to this moment. My face sunk. Still in a drunken stupor, and I said to myself (aloud possibly, it's fuzzy at best) "this is the last meat I ever want to eat, my New year's resolution is to be a vegetarian". I still haven;t broken that resolution. Six months later I "went" vegan, and still haven't looked back. I love my healthy and cruelty-free lifestyle and changing isn't even tempting (it's revolting really, but that's just me).
Now maybe I just really didn't want to eat meat anymore. Maybe I found a new sense of resolve in myself as a maturing person as to not back down to a promise I made myself. Or maybe there really was something more. A kind of magic, possibly innate in the moment, settled long before I crossed it's path. Maybe I made some sort of astral connection to a greater force and sealed off the part of me that ate meat in some sort of unknowing ritual. I still don't know.
One of my resolutions this year was to write more.
The rest are listed below, possibly in order of importance.
1.Be a better Buddhist. Let go of my pain and fear and be more in-tune with my inner buddha-nature.
2.Get a job. I've had several jobs before, but I always have these long stints where I try to start everything in my life over and end up with unemployed periods almost as long as the time when I am employed. My resolution here is to stick with it.
3.Stay in school. Hooboy. That's a dilly of a pickle there. I've been registered to classes at macomb community college for almost two years and I have barely any credits. I don't even know the amount or my gpa. I can barely sit still in class, and being there alone makes my anxiety flip the fuck out. I realize however, that I would have been done by now if I hadn't been so sensitive to my anxiety and depression. That story is for another time though. Let's just say it's go time, and things are going to be different.
4.Get out more. I'm a refugee of my moms basement and I read a lot. Nuff said.
5. (continue to) get in shape. This is a continuation of a resolution I made last year (like marc continuing campaign to play video games ONLY on the highest difficulty). I really hardly gained any weight this year. Gorging on food every 3 hours is tough, but I'll do that someday as well. I started trying to get into weightlifting last winter, with a 4 day a week program with lots of muscle-isolation exercises. A few months and a lot of internet research later I found out about stronglifts 5x5. I feel like a different person. To say I love lift day would be to say flowers like the sun. I'll post my end-of-the-year comparative pictures soon.
Is it more growing up or is there magic in these words?
Maybe the two aren't as dualistic as I suppose they are.
My week or two of vegetarianism was rough to say the least. My entire life up to that point I had little to no use of anything but meat and starches for my main sustanance and I never was very fond of any vegetable particularly. So I broke. I ate all of the little sausage biscuits that had been left out and afterwords, I let out a deep sigh. "They weren't even that good", I thought. Then I thought about the poor pigs and their lives that led to this moment. My face sunk. Still in a drunken stupor, and I said to myself (aloud possibly, it's fuzzy at best) "this is the last meat I ever want to eat, my New year's resolution is to be a vegetarian". I still haven;t broken that resolution. Six months later I "went" vegan, and still haven't looked back. I love my healthy and cruelty-free lifestyle and changing isn't even tempting (it's revolting really, but that's just me).
Now maybe I just really didn't want to eat meat anymore. Maybe I found a new sense of resolve in myself as a maturing person as to not back down to a promise I made myself. Or maybe there really was something more. A kind of magic, possibly innate in the moment, settled long before I crossed it's path. Maybe I made some sort of astral connection to a greater force and sealed off the part of me that ate meat in some sort of unknowing ritual. I still don't know.
One of my resolutions this year was to write more.
The rest are listed below, possibly in order of importance.
1.Be a better Buddhist. Let go of my pain and fear and be more in-tune with my inner buddha-nature.
2.Get a job. I've had several jobs before, but I always have these long stints where I try to start everything in my life over and end up with unemployed periods almost as long as the time when I am employed. My resolution here is to stick with it.
3.Stay in school. Hooboy. That's a dilly of a pickle there. I've been registered to classes at macomb community college for almost two years and I have barely any credits. I don't even know the amount or my gpa. I can barely sit still in class, and being there alone makes my anxiety flip the fuck out. I realize however, that I would have been done by now if I hadn't been so sensitive to my anxiety and depression. That story is for another time though. Let's just say it's go time, and things are going to be different.
4.Get out more. I'm a refugee of my moms basement and I read a lot. Nuff said.
5. (continue to) get in shape. This is a continuation of a resolution I made last year (like marc continuing campaign to play video games ONLY on the highest difficulty). I really hardly gained any weight this year. Gorging on food every 3 hours is tough, but I'll do that someday as well. I started trying to get into weightlifting last winter, with a 4 day a week program with lots of muscle-isolation exercises. A few months and a lot of internet research later I found out about stronglifts 5x5. I feel like a different person. To say I love lift day would be to say flowers like the sun. I'll post my end-of-the-year comparative pictures soon.
Is it more growing up or is there magic in these words?
Maybe the two aren't as dualistic as I suppose they are.