The story of the waggle
The story of the waggle
"You got your waggle from Rocky Horror. Haha you're gay"
Words that made no sense, even to the perpetrators of the latest craze to sweep the nation. "You sent me a message last night that made no sense whatsoever" was "Pete's" confused reaction...but he's clearly a simple lad. Let us view the evidence:
*zooms in*
Clearly Mssrs Pete and Tobin gathered inspiration from Richard O Brien's classic Rocky Horror Picture Show. A fact they had obviously been trying to hide until now, but now the secret was out, there was no stopping the craze from growing and growing.
The waggle gets underway
Memorise these faces and their respective waggles. Soon they will be famous for bringing the waggle out of the underground indie scene of Leeds, straight into the mainstream, to the attention of the world's media.
Inspired by these impressive waggles, others quickly began to realise the potential kudos involved, and took up the pursuit themselves
Observe the pout, the cheeky look in the eyes, clearly he's thinking his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...the level of sass would be significantly lower without the help of the waggle.
Scientific Fact: The finger waggle will significantly increase your sex appeal and pulling power when used correctly
See what Nick has managed to accomplish here:
However, when used incorrectly the consequences can be dire, as seen with "The Adrian":
(rumours that the waggle will make you look gay are of course entirely unfounded)
The Rock Star Waggle
Already our scientific team is observing a number of rockstars taking heed of our advice and incorporating the waggle into their repertoire. Approprtiately enough the star who has the best grasp of it's full sass potential is non other than Mr.Peter Doherty
Perhaps this is the origin of the lyric "hand on hip...pout on lip"
And of course this generation's greatest rock star
<---------- pro
Here, the Hoff demonstrates perfect waggling technique...managing to look disapproving but not overly-stern.
The "undergays"
We all know to be "just gay enough" is better. Here is what happens when the waggle is used in the hands of the undergays
What can you say?
(apart from...."nice beard jack")
Morrissey gets involved
Even excessive listening to Morrissey will not lower the potential of the waggle. The waggle does not discriminate. The waggle loves everyone
Cautionary Section
Sadly the waggle does not make everybody look cool. Try losing the Darkness posters Andy
WARNING! excessive waggling can lead to limp wrists, which may be interpreted as something else entirely.
This ably demonstrates an important waggle technique: it's all in the fingers kids...keep those wrists still!
-----The End-----
Or is it? Keep sending in your pictures! Operation Waggle is only just beginning!