Can it be emo post tiem now?
Before I get to the mental stuff, I just wanted to say that I have started fleshing out my characters. I'm even using the really big, black journal for this one so you know it's a pretty serious occasion.
I've been seeing some familiar A&T faces lately such as Joey, Jael, Vic, and even Maurize this week. Drinking with them reminded of the family I had back then. Nostalgia, if you will. But I'm done with the past. What's there is there and there's no one I can change it, and no way in hell do I wanna live in it.
So I walked outside today to take out the trash, and I heard the most interesting sound I forgot existed.
Utter dead silence.
It's like for just 24 hours the world isn't moving. It felt good to stand there on my porch for a while so I could think some things through.
And so I did.
It seems as if though a lot of the people that I hold in high regard always seem to find some way for me to drop that regard. It's like if someone ever wanted to put trust in me/have me trust them, they'd have to read the warning label on the back. Of course I'm not gonna blame myself. From now on I'm just saying take me at your own risk. And I don't want your apologies or sympathy. I'm no god, so no reason to answer to me like I am one.
For now, I'm just tired of putting hope in people. They either become back-stabbers, or wander off.
Also, I've been bitching lately about my job. Well my co-worker just quit so that means I get a hefty amount of overtime pay. Although it is Tax-Free weekend I think I wanna try my best to rough it out until they hire someone else. I'm half-disappointed that I haven't found another job yet, and half-inspired that I work the fuck out of this one.
That is all.
I've been seeing some familiar A&T faces lately such as Joey, Jael, Vic, and even Maurize this week. Drinking with them reminded of the family I had back then. Nostalgia, if you will. But I'm done with the past. What's there is there and there's no one I can change it, and no way in hell do I wanna live in it.
So I walked outside today to take out the trash, and I heard the most interesting sound I forgot existed.
Utter dead silence.
It's like for just 24 hours the world isn't moving. It felt good to stand there on my porch for a while so I could think some things through.
And so I did.
It seems as if though a lot of the people that I hold in high regard always seem to find some way for me to drop that regard. It's like if someone ever wanted to put trust in me/have me trust them, they'd have to read the warning label on the back. Of course I'm not gonna blame myself. From now on I'm just saying take me at your own risk. And I don't want your apologies or sympathy. I'm no god, so no reason to answer to me like I am one.
For now, I'm just tired of putting hope in people. They either become back-stabbers, or wander off.
Also, I've been bitching lately about my job. Well my co-worker just quit so that means I get a hefty amount of overtime pay. Although it is Tax-Free weekend I think I wanna try my best to rough it out until they hire someone else. I'm half-disappointed that I haven't found another job yet, and half-inspired that I work the fuck out of this one.
That is all.