Lee Donghae: Deadly cute? Cute Toxicity Levels Study, part 1. (CTLS)
As scientists are in Switzerland trying to recreate the Big Bang, girls in America are trying to procreate with Big Bang determine once and for all if certain levels of male cuteness can be considered toxic. As is well known, cuteness levels (varying excretions of the cute hormone YES, Yeppoyo Estrone Steroid) produce varying reactions, and it mostly occurs in females of childbearing age. The victim is typically affected by bouts of intense screaming, and in rare cases, fainting spells. Neither of these reactions are considered life threatening. This occurrence is known as General Fangirling Syndrome (GFS).
The purpose of this particular study is a recent incident where a male subject produced such high levels of cuteness that the victim displayed radical reactions atypical of those experiencing a normal GFS attack. May I present Exhibit A:
Please pay close attention to frame 0:53 on. It is apparent that the subject, one Mr. Lee Donghae is familiar with the dance moves, however, he is not an expert at executing them. In normal males this would detract from cuteness levels, but in the case of Mr. Lee, it apparently has the opposite effect. The standard move of swaying side to side has been studied previously in the prestigious Journal Of Boyband Dance Moves (their most infamous study being "Pelvic Thrusts and the GFS Link", where it was discovered that pelvic thrusts actually created the GFS epidemic in the early 1980's), but no effects as drastic as what our victim experienced were recorded. The victim in our study formed a grin that measured 5 inches across, her eyes glazed over and she began to babble incoherently, finally ending with a spazz attack where she wrote a faux medical report. All signs pointed to impending DBC *. This lends to one of two theories: Mr. Lee exudes an unhealthy amount of the YES hormone, or the act of not being very good at certain dance moves actually increases a victim's vulnerability to a GFS attack. Perhaps both factors were at work simultaneously, in which case we may need to conduct further studies to ensure no mutations are possible.
Please stay tuned for part two of the Cute Toxicity Levels Study (CTLS). Feel free to present your own evidence as part of this study, any and all participation is encouraged.
* No cases of Death-By-Cuteness have ever been recorded. Many scientists consider it to be an urban legend; new studies are being performed as of the date of publication.
The purpose of this particular study is a recent incident where a male subject produced such high levels of cuteness that the victim displayed radical reactions atypical of those experiencing a normal GFS attack. May I present Exhibit A:
Click to viewPlease pay close attention to frame 0:53 on. It is apparent that the subject, one Mr. Lee Donghae is familiar with the dance moves, however, he is not an expert at executing them. In normal males this would detract from cuteness levels, but in the case of Mr. Lee, it apparently has the opposite effect. The standard move of swaying side to side has been studied previously in the prestigious Journal Of Boyband Dance Moves (their most infamous study being "Pelvic Thrusts and the GFS Link", where it was discovered that pelvic thrusts actually created the GFS epidemic in the early 1980's), but no effects as drastic as what our victim experienced were recorded. The victim in our study formed a grin that measured 5 inches across, her eyes glazed over and she began to babble incoherently, finally ending with a spazz attack where she wrote a faux medical report. All signs pointed to impending DBC *. This lends to one of two theories: Mr. Lee exudes an unhealthy amount of the YES hormone, or the act of not being very good at certain dance moves actually increases a victim's vulnerability to a GFS attack. Perhaps both factors were at work simultaneously, in which case we may need to conduct further studies to ensure no mutations are possible.
Please stay tuned for part two of the Cute Toxicity Levels Study (CTLS). Feel free to present your own evidence as part of this study, any and all participation is encouraged.
* No cases of Death-By-Cuteness have ever been recorded. Many scientists consider it to be an urban legend; new studies are being performed as of the date of publication.